I've smoked weed pretty much daily for 15 years. Since I was a teenager, 17 or so years of age.
It took me a while to realize why I smoke weed. Its to calm me down. Without weed I'm erratic and emotional. I find it impossible to hold my tongue. Get in all sorts of confrontations. My mind races, it feels like I've got 10 thought trains vying for my attention. My energy is out the gate, I can't sit still. Its almost impossible for me to complete any tasks in one go, and I find myself distracted and unable to concentrate or even be entertained by a game or movie for more than 10-30 minutes at a time.
I am quite sure I have adhd and I'm sure this is a big part of this. I have tried ritalin 3 times in my life and I never felt more normal and functional. Pretty sure I got more done in those days than the rest of my life combined. Unfortunately it's pretty hard to get that arranged as someone in their 30s here in NZ.
I smoke about an ounce every 10 days. My girlfriend hates it. We've been together for almost a decade but it's definitely something she wishes wasn't part of our life. She understands the situation though and has seen me and what I'm like when I have had breaks or run out. There are things we both like about me when I'm sober that I am not when I'm stoned. I'm way more creative and do more stuff, although in many parts between a lot of projects because I turn so erratic.
My sleep is probably the most frustrating part. Sleeping without weed in my system is very difficult. My mind races and I can just think about shit until the sun comes up. Not stressing, often about my hobbies or whatever but just.. Thinking.
The biggest break I've had in this time was 3 months. I didn't find anything got easier or that I had 'withdrawals' creating this issues. I felt and acted the same as one week post break as I did 3 month post break. I'll admit there's always a couple of uneasy days right after I stop though.
Anyone find themselves in a similar situation and come to find a better way to manage life? Honestly as crazy as it sounds I've considered just buying a bunch of meth because it's cheap and available, and microdosing essentially to achieve similar effects to ritalin. I've used it before recreationally a dozen times or so and could see it working if managed right. I don't really want to form a meth habit to live a bit more normally though. In saying that I didn't find it hard breaking habits to heroin or oxy when I consumed those daily for a while, so I don't know if the addiction side is particularly worrisome. The only thing I've ever found difficult to stop consuming is weed but maybe that's because it allows me to feel relatively OK, maybe any drug that gave me this would become an issue.
It took me a while to realize why I smoke weed. Its to calm me down. Without weed I'm erratic and emotional. I find it impossible to hold my tongue. Get in all sorts of confrontations. My mind races, it feels like I've got 10 thought trains vying for my attention. My energy is out the gate, I can't sit still. Its almost impossible for me to complete any tasks in one go, and I find myself distracted and unable to concentrate or even be entertained by a game or movie for more than 10-30 minutes at a time.
I am quite sure I have adhd and I'm sure this is a big part of this. I have tried ritalin 3 times in my life and I never felt more normal and functional. Pretty sure I got more done in those days than the rest of my life combined. Unfortunately it's pretty hard to get that arranged as someone in their 30s here in NZ.
I smoke about an ounce every 10 days. My girlfriend hates it. We've been together for almost a decade but it's definitely something she wishes wasn't part of our life. She understands the situation though and has seen me and what I'm like when I have had breaks or run out. There are things we both like about me when I'm sober that I am not when I'm stoned. I'm way more creative and do more stuff, although in many parts between a lot of projects because I turn so erratic.
My sleep is probably the most frustrating part. Sleeping without weed in my system is very difficult. My mind races and I can just think about shit until the sun comes up. Not stressing, often about my hobbies or whatever but just.. Thinking.
The biggest break I've had in this time was 3 months. I didn't find anything got easier or that I had 'withdrawals' creating this issues. I felt and acted the same as one week post break as I did 3 month post break. I'll admit there's always a couple of uneasy days right after I stop though.
Anyone find themselves in a similar situation and come to find a better way to manage life? Honestly as crazy as it sounds I've considered just buying a bunch of meth because it's cheap and available, and microdosing essentially to achieve similar effects to ritalin. I've used it before recreationally a dozen times or so and could see it working if managed right. I don't really want to form a meth habit to live a bit more normally though. In saying that I didn't find it hard breaking habits to heroin or oxy when I consumed those daily for a while, so I don't know if the addiction side is particularly worrisome. The only thing I've ever found difficult to stop consuming is weed but maybe that's because it allows me to feel relatively OK, maybe any drug that gave me this would become an issue.