I really want to trip...

[Uhmmilikepoker]

Hello everyone,

I genuinely do think psychedelic can be a useful tool when used sparingly and when treated with respect. Whilst I wholeheartedly trust myself to use them carefully, I unfortunately suffer from mild depression and anxiety. Whilst I believe this is the hindrance to me being able to reliably have 'good' trip, I really do think that that psychedelics can play a key role in altering my thought processes in a positive way and just generally like myself a bit more.

Out of the 5 or so times I have tripped, I would say 2 have been negative experiences. Whilst there were events/situations (particularly strong and lingering nausea, for example) that I believe led to these bad experiences, I generally do fear losing control I think. It almost feels like my mind always finds something to worry about.

Am I destined to never be able to enjoy tripping? I've achieved way more than I could have ever hoped in the last year or two, but my depression still blocks me from feeling any sort of satisfaction/pride. I just feel like psychedelics could be a key to objectively looking at my life and realising how lucky I am. It seems like a shame to think that they could really help my illness, but I don't have the balls to overcome my illness in the short term and just go along for the wonderful ride.

I should add that I generally feel anxious about taking most drugs. Whilst I wouldn't normally with taking drugs I know are safe (eg shrooms) the fact that I may have picked a poisonous shroom doesn't rest with me too well. (I have picked shrooms a few times - I am fairly confident but I just worry). I have some 1pLSD which doesn't have that risk, but it is an untested research chemical which also doesn't sit particularly well with me.

I have access to benzos if need be. Maybe preload with a light dose of benzos to get me used to the feeling of tripping? I space out my trips by months/years so I never feel like I am getting used to tripping, but I imagine I would feel far more comfortable given a bit of experience. Sorry for the long-winded post, any advice would be greatly appreciated (if that advice is don't touch psychedelics, it is appreciated just as much). Thanks for listening/reading.

 

[EverlastingVacancy]

Will holding a gun to your head while suicidal make you realize that you actually enjoy living and don't want to die? Maybe. This is similar - You could try and see if you'll confront your problems and come out much better than before, but you might have a very bad experience as well - Personally, I wouldn't take the risk until you're out of your depression.

 

[Uhmmilikepoker]

Thanks for your advice, it seems logical. I should add, however, that when I have had bad experiences, they definitely weren't all bad. At least half of the trip was a very enjoyable experience, which left me feeling generally more positive afterwards. I don't dose to get fucked up by any means; just enough to have a very mild experience. But does all that even matter, really?

 

[CrypticArc]

I actually cured my depression with psychedelics. I'm not advising you to self-medicate with them, just saying you shouldn't rule them out because of your illness. Anyway, I was in your exact position a few years ago. I even used some of the same wording, weirdly enough "altering my thought processes" being the big one.

Lucky for you, there is a cure for psychedelic nausea. The reason you get the bad body load and nausea isn't because of your anxiety at all; it's because psychedelics bind to more than one receptor. it binds to 5ht2 which produces mind altering effects, but also 5ht3 which makes you feel woozy and uncomfortable, sometimes even disoriented. Ginger contains a component called gingerol which is a 5ht3 agonist, this blocks psychedelics from binding there and eliminates nausea. There is also a pharmaceutical equal which works better and lasts longer called ondansetron.

 

[Uhmmilikepoker]

Thank you for sharing your experience, it is certainly reassuring to know that this goal is possible. Thanks for the tip, I will have to give it a try. How much ginger would suffice, approximately? I tried ibuprofen for the nausea before and it seemed to work, but I like the idea of actually stopping the nausea rather than just covering it up.

By the way, if you don't mind me asking, how long had you suffered from depression previous to your psychedelic journey? Also, how many times did you trip, and how hard?

Anyone - has there been any scientific studies on 1P LSD? Or is there any evidence suggesting that is more toxic than LSD? For example, is it particularly heavy on one receptor? Whilst I appreciate that all information on it is likely to just be conjecture at this stage, I still want to at least try be aware of its risks (and throw the stuff away if necessary).

 

[tokezu]

I suffer from depression, too, and although my use of psychedelics hasn't cured it, it definitely helped me to recognize certain negative thought patterns and to change them. But I have to stress that the most important changes came totally unexpected, sometimes even from situations where I simply wanted "to get fucked up" as you put it. Not that I want to encourage you to do just that, but I think if you take psychedelics hoping it will change you for the better, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. As CrypticArc already said, please don't take this as advice to take psychedelics, there is no guarantee that it won't make your condition worse.

Regarding benzos: This is a difficult topic. I personally feel that if I would feel the need to have a benzo on hand, I really shouldn't trip at all, but there are some people here on BL who would disagree.

And last but not least, when picking mushrooms being "fairly confident" isn't enough! Put enough effort into learning how to identify the right ones, so you are absolutely confident. You could also try to get your hands on some LSD and test it with Ehrlich's reagent (I don't know much about lysergamides so don't take my word for it, but I think Ehrlich's can't differentiate between LSD, 1p-LSD, AL-LAD and the like, but I think most of these RC-lysergamides have the chemical name printed onto the blotters). Or you could look into growing your own mushrooms, if you think it is worth the legal risk.

 

[TheAppleCore]

IMHO, waiting till you're over your depression before taking psychedelics is like waiting till you're well before going to the doctor.

 

[CrypticArc]

Thank you for sharing your experience, it is certainly reassuring to know that this goal is possible. Thanks for the tip, I will have to give it a try. How much ginger would suffice, approximately? I tried ibuprofen for the nausea before and it seemed to work, but I like the idea of actually stopping the nausea rather than just covering it up.

By the way, if you don't mind me asking, how long had you suffered from depression previous to your psychedelic journey? Also, how many times did you trip, and how hard?

Anyone - has there been any scientific studies on 1P LSD? Or is there any evidence suggesting that is more toxic than LSD? For example, is it particularly heavy on one receptor? Whilst I appreciate that all information on it is likely to just be conjecture at this stage, I still want to at least try be aware of its risks (and throw the stuff away if necessary).

A strong cup of ginger tea seems to be enough. Just put a couple decent sized chunks of fresh ginger in a tea cup full of hot water and let sit for 5-15 minutes. As for your questions, I had suffered from major depression since age 8 to age 15. At the point where I had cured my depression, to the point where I had absolutely no residual "no reason" depression, I had tripped around 30-35 times after actually having taken a college level free psychology course online and spend days on end researching LSD therapy.

I then exposed myself to LSD and HBWR seeds at medium high doses, around 200-400ug for the LSD or 5 to 20 HBWR seeds at a time, in a series of experimental self-therapy sessions where I would go through and think about everything from my childhood bullies and deaths I went through, to abuse, to all of my failures and all of the pain I had caused to others. It was certainly a process, and there were plenty of uncomfortable moments, a long and difficult journey to say the least. I'm also not neurotypical so I wouldn't know if this would work for someone else. I still suffer from the occasional downer day but it's situational just about every time. I used to attempt suicide multiple times a year, but it's been 3 years now without a single suicidal urge or thought.