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I Peed On My Couch

W

WallOfSound

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Okay, so no troll shit. Point blank..I fell asleep and pissed my couch the other night. I went and bought woolite, but have no pet. Worked pretty well.

But, I keep having these dreams where Im searching for a public toilet or trying to pee in something I cant figure out how. Like, someone will keep telling me "just do it in there" and it'll be something at a wierd angle or something. So it finally happened where I woke up in piss.

Any ideas on how to never do this again?
 
You'll never get it completely clean. You'll start to notice the smell whenever the cussion gets hot, and you'll probably have to get rid of it. I know this because I have experience with this situation.

In the future, don't drink anything within 2 or 3 hours of bedtime.
 
This is the same issue I had twenty years ago. In elementary school. Either sleep on plastic while naked, or don't drink anything a couple hours before bed and piss before you go to bed. I actually have a gallon jug that I have in my room because I'm too damn lazy to go all the way and take an extra 10 steps to go to the bathroom. Then I empty out my jug when it's full. There was a period when I was filling up 2 liter bottles and I kept shoving them under the bed. At one point when i couldn't fit anymore, I pulled out like a dozen bottles full of piss.


Now I had all that piss and I didn't know what to do with it. I ended up getting fired from my job for nodding off, and the next day I brought all the bottles with me, and emptied each and every one of them into my bosses car through the sunroof. For added measure I took a dump and then puked on top of it all, before I left. Needless to say every employee off that day, including myself even though I was fired, were questioned by popo. I of course acted offended of the mere accusation.
 
That's a good piss jug story. That made me laugh.

I had some building up as well, and I poured the piss jugs in the lawn of a neighbor I didn't like. A week later, he had a huge patch (10 feet across) of dead grass. It was funny watching him try to reseed it and fertilize and water it after that. He couldn't get it to grow back.
 
vajeeh said:
This is the same issue I had twenty years ago. In elementary school. Either sleep on plastic while naked, or don't drink anything a couple hours before bed and piss before you go to bed. I actually have a gallon jug that I have in my room because I'm too damn lazy to go all the way and take an extra 10 steps to go to the bathroom. Then I empty out my jug when it's full. There was a period when I was filling up 2 liter bottles and I kept shoving them under the bed. At one point when i couldn't fit anymore, I pulled out like a dozen bottles full of piss.


Now I had all that piss and I didn't know what to do with it. I ended up getting fired from my job for nodding off, and the next day I brought all the bottles with me, and emptied each and every one of them into my bosses car through the sunroof. For added measure I took a dump and then puked on top of it all, before I left. Needless to say every employee off that day, including myself even though I was fired, were questioned by popo. I of course acted offended of the mere accusation.
Click to expand...

Your parents must be so proud.
 
I like to piss in my mouth from time to time. My Iphone doesnt handle situations that demand a tripod and the bathroom mirror serves as an excellant medium for self expression.
When intoxicated and full of life, I choose to be in front of the mirror above my sink. I piss straight up, and if it reaches my face its aces cause Im staring at my image in my mirror.

**If youve ever drank urine then you know how raunchy ( just try drinking 1/4 cup if you are brave ) it really is.


Op, get a "pseudo second opinion". Invite your person over the apt where couch is located and maybe smoke a ciggie-butt.
 
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lol this thread cracks me up, sorry you pissed on ur couch, I had a friend who shit on a couch at a house party (he was a real idiot/tool) but the owners ended up cutting a big ole hole in the couch where the shit was hahaha.
 
in a drunken stupor, my girlfriend pissed on my couch Saturday night
when she crawled into bed with me naked with a towel wrapped around her around 7a and told me I said no worries it is leather go back to sleep
soap and water and done
 
vajeeh said:
This is the same issue I had twenty years ago. In elementary school. Either sleep on plastic while naked, or don't drink anything a couple hours before bed and piss before you go to bed. I actually have a gallon jug that I have in my room because I'm too damn lazy to go all the way and take an extra 10 steps to go to the bathroom. Then I empty out my jug when it's full. There was a period when I was filling up 2 liter bottles and I kept shoving them under the bed. At one point when i couldn't fit anymore, I pulled out like a dozen bottles full of piss.


Now I had all that piss and I didn't know what to do with it. I ended up getting fired from my job for nodding off, and the next day I brought all the bottles with me, and emptied each and every one of them into my bosses car through the sunroof. For added measure I took a dump and then puked on top of it all, before I left. Needless to say every employee off that day, including myself even though I was fired, were questioned by popo. I of course acted offended of the mere accusation.
Click to expand...

Wow that's unbelievable really. Oh my god...

But yeah OP, I second the ideaof not drinking anything a couple hours before bed and pissing before bed.
 
try drinking LOTS of water during the day in an effort to expand your bladder.
 
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