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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Heroin I need some ideas, tips brainstorms on how to get control of my addiction and life

Ganjcat

Ganjcat

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
4,887
Like it your quitting heroin tapering of going cold turkey what do some of you man do to cope do you have any strategies for example like in the film trainspotting where he stocks up and locks himself in a room I know it sounds foolish but my brain and memory are so mashed I just need some new inspiration, tips ideas anything! Be much appreciated:D!
 
What is your addiction and how do you supply it. It is your own script or street drugs. When I finally got control of mine I eliminated all my dealers, I didn't hang with anyone who used. I tried to make my life as drama and stress free as possible. I started eating better and when I craved I got up and did something. Walked the dog, did the dishes, took a hot shower, smoked a joint ( that usually worked ) and just pretty much tried to remember how much I hated being broke, dealing with loser dealers, lying to family, feeling like shit when I didn't have any, conniving ways to justify it. I started hating the drugs instead of loving them so much. I take Kratom and smoke weed but that's it. So I still can get little mood lifts without all the consequences. I hope you can see yourself through this and come out the other side. Took me 30 years but better late than never.
 
I've tried doing everything I can think of to quit or so it feels I split my bag into four and pretend I've only got one of the 1/4s but break into the other 3 as soon as I run out anyway I can't even make my methadone last unless I've got some gear on Saturday you get a take home for Sunday when they are closed and I always end up taking it Saturday night I thought I was doing good a few weeks ago I quit for nearly 21 days but then started using again half an egg a day which is 1.75 grams and now I'm back to where I'm started no worse actually I'm so sick of this shit
 
If you're painting yourself that scene from Trainspotting I would say your best bet is state sanctioned methadone (or buprenorphine if that works for you) replacement. I don't know your use history, and yes methadone is portrayed really bad, but you seem to be at the end of the rope. You sound like someone who could eventually go through the withdrawal and relapse in a month. I will repeat, I don't know nothing about you but you are portraying a really dire picture. That is ok as we have all been in a pretty bad places. I never used street heroin (morphine and unlimited supply of oxy were my opioid DOCs), never injected, but still went on an opioid replacement. First it was buprenorphine, than 6 months of methadone and back to buprenorphine. 3 years on replacement in total before i quit more than year ago. It is still a process as it ain't all sunshine and rainbows once you quit. Life is a struggle in itself, but it is much easier struggle if your first job isn't "how to feel like I can hold shit in my bowels and have energy to get out of bed". I hope you figure it out as my heart goes truly with all people battling opioid addiction. Not because I am a great guy but because I know how much it hurts.
 
Oh, I saw now that you are on MMT. Uff, that truly changes whole game. I have not advice that I used on myself so I it would not be sincere of me to write solutions to problems I didn't resolve myself. Hope you resolve them though.
 
to get htrough the acute stages.... distraction is all that's ever worked for me. and sleeping- use sleeping pills if you need to, which you probably will. if you need to get someone to help you, take away your money/bank card to get through, do it.

long term recovery is another thing entirely, that requires a huge amount of work and soul searching and is very difficult to do alone. until i realised that i relapsed usually on day 3 of my rattle, never made it more than a fortnight.

good luck.
 
I started on codeine 8 years ago like loads of people and I found them unbearable to quit so unbearable I couldn't do it so you can imagine how hard heroin is I started heroin 2 and a half years ago that's it I've been on methadone for the last 6 months so I didn't end up in jail I was just a kid basically when I got addicted now I'm an adult and I do believe I can do it I know I can just need a new job or hobby or volunteer work or anything man
 
My keyworker thinks I should go to a place that is kinda like rehab but I'm allowed to bring my methadone and can leave anytime I want she wants be to be clean of all drug use because she knows I use cannabis and most of all go 2 weeks with no wisp of heroin a few years ago i would be terrified to even consider doing it but now I really think I'm ready
 
Ganjcat said:
My keyworker thinks I should go to a place that is kinda like rehab but I'm allowed to bring my methadone and can leave anytime I want she wants be to be clean of all drug use because she knows I use cannabis and most of all go 2 weeks with no wisp of heroin a few years ago i would be terrified to even consider doing it but now I really think I'm ready
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Your key worker only wants you to be clean of all drugs so she can chalk you up as a 'success' and make herself look good. Don't listen to her.

I got clean in spite of the drug services, not because of them.

Being forced into any kind of rehab is doomed to failure unless you're ready to get clean. But if you're really ready, then you don't need rehab.

What you do need however, are life changes. These can be voluntary or forced upon you, but something fairly drastic needs to happen for you to realise when you've come to the end of the road.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Your key worker only wants you to be clean of all drugs so she can chalk you up as a 'success' and make herself look good. Don't listen to her.

I got clean in spite of the drug services, not because of them.

Being forced into any kind of rehab is doomed to failure unless you're ready to get clean. But if you're really ready, then you don't need rehab.

What you do need however, are life changes. These can be voluntary or forced upon you, but something fairly drastic needs to happen for you to realise when you've come to the end of the road.
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Thing is though fub I have no money no one who will put me up except my grandmas but other family live their who use and who I don't get on with which is why I moved out in the first place I am currently sitting in a new hostel with a bag of heroin stashed behind my dick it's the first bag I have brought in 3 days it's gonna take all my effort to go sleep and save it I can't smoke it here though because apparently they have extra sensitive smoke alarms AND the big cheese of the house knows my history so is on the lookout and tbh I promised him I wouldn't use and I generally don't want to break that promise I don't know I just know I'm at rock bottom again
 
When i tried lowering my habit in the past the only thing that temporarily worked for me was to leave thr state to a friends place in Florida wher id just get a liter of gin and some valium and get totally shitfaced on just that for two weeks ,
 
Besides the first one I went to where I felt very welcomed, NA meetings didn't end up working for me because it was all too religious to me. I'm not hating on NA but it simply wasn't my thing. However, I went to a SMART Recovery meeting suggested by a friend and that was what I needed. It essentially teaches you cognitive therapy. We naturally use some of these exercises not even thinking about it.
Example, think of your lowest moment. Like the one you can't stand to think of yourself doing that was caused by your addiction. Think of that moment anytime you find yourself really talking yourself into buying your fix. Mine was seeing my sister in tears one morning when I stole all the money out of her wallet that she had made the night before in tips. It disgusts me so much that I would do that and to see that I caused her to hurt. I have done so many bad things, worst than that, but that was the one moment that hurt me most and it was due to my addiction.

A great exercise is CBA (cost benefit analysis), kind of like a pros/cons list. Do the benefits outweigh the costs?
Write these down, then answer them on paper and be 100% truthful. Keep adding to it over time because it's not something you just do and be done with, because you'll remember more stuff as you stay clean and adding to it will help you even more. It's pretty damn powerful.
What do you like about your addiction, and what does it do for you? What do you hate about your addiction, and what does it do to you? What do you think you'll like about giving up your addiction? What do you think you'll hate about giving it up?

I'm not trying to force meetings down your throat, but I will say it's nice to be able to talk in a group setting about what your going through with others going through it as well.
 
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