Heroin I NEED SOME ADVICE ASAP PLEASE

[mhansen43]

Hi everyone I have posted a few times about starting a methadone clinic, today is only my 2nd day and it's still rough but I'm sticking with it. What is did not mention is that my boyfriend of 20 years also started the clinic with me and we have a 12 year old son. There a very long story behind what I'm about to say but I'll try to sum it up as best I can. We have both tried to clean throughout the years and unfortunately it never stuck I have never been close to my family but he is very close to his, he went away to detox about 3 years ago and let his family know what was going on and for the most part he has kept them in the loop but only when he tried to get clean. Well the thing is he told them we started the clinic this week and both his sister and mother has threatened to take our son away from us because we relapsed. I live in Pennsylvania USA so my question is if they call CYS (child protective services) will we lose our son?!?! This is seriously the reason I've been suffering through this addiction quietly because after we went away the last time they both said if we relapsed again they would take our son from us so I never wanted him to say anything to his family but unfortunately he doesn't see it the way I do and his dad just called us and told us to watch out because he thinks his mom and sister are going to try to take our son. My question is how likely is this to happen? If they call CYS and someone does come to our house what are we in for? I can't believe I'm trying to get clean and this is something else I have to deal with on top of it. I am terrified of this exact thing and my worst nightmare is coming true I won't survive this world without my son and I truly mean that. Has anyone had any experience with this? Thank you in advance.

 

[LadyAlkaline]

Ok calm down and take a deep breath. You will drive yourself crazy with this. I'm writing a reply so give me a few ok?

It's going to be ok.

 

[negrogesic]

I don't know how it works exactly, but I think most of the issues pertain to infants and newborns. Under federal law any instances where newborns are found with controlled substances in their system must be reported to child protective services.

As far as your situation is concerned, perhaps it might be enough to open a case if reported. They are looking for neglect, so I don't think being on methadone is solely grounds for taking a child.

I remember at my clinic there was pregnant women. I wonder what happened in her case. Then again it was an expensive clinic in the penthouse of a los angeles office building, and was shockingly beautiful, so she was probably the wife of someone wealthy/famous, so she probably found a way around it. The clinic was designed so no patients saw one another but we got our times cross and took the same elevator. When I realized she was going to the same place, I thought, "damn that child is going to spend its first month of life in methadone withdrawal".

Back to your situation; as long as your son hasn't been neglected you should be fine.

 

[LadyAlkaline]

If they have your address and they call CPS and report heroin use by both parents, they are obligated to investigate.

Social services shows up, if you're already in a methadone program and piss clean for heroin, they may (probably) open a dependency case and put a safety plan in place. As long as there is food, safe sleeping arrangements, the home is reasonably clean, all medical and dental appointments are reasonably up to date, and he is going to school, not neglected, ect, chances are very good that they will NOT place your child in kinship placement.

Being in a methadone program is not illegal.

Social services typically does not want to take your child unless they're in immediate risk of harm.

Do not get mad, emotional, yell at or give the social worker a hard time.

You have to show them you're a stable person.

The family members that are doing this to you are pieces of crap in my opinion, please don't use this as a reason to relapse again. It's terrific that you're both able to make the steps to get clean.

Edit: bottom line, if they call CPS they will show up. Pull yourself and your house together as best and quickly as possible and be prepared for their arrival and be very calm and helpful while they are there, unless you can afford to lawyer up. ACPS investigation and involvement does not mean removal of the child. They always investigate and attempt to provide the family with services and support first.

 

[LadyAlkaline]

Also, tell them you're going to start going to NA, volunteer to go to therapy, volunteer to go to parenting classes and a psychiatrist because they'll ask you to do that anyways but drag the requests out. They'll sing your praises and close the case sooner.

 

[quaalMan]

I hope after you get through this (and you definitely will) you can convince your boyfriend to stop all contact with his mom/sister. I can't believe he didn't after the first time they threatened to steal your child. They are not family at that point IMO.

Also lawyer up as soon as possible if you can at all. Consultations are usually cheap/free, and you're much better off with one you can call right away if they come knocking.

You should also check at some point if your state has "Grandparent Rights" laws. That's another way the mother may come at you down the road if this attempt fails. Not sure why but it seems common for the grandmother to want to steal the grandchildren, especially if they don't like the mother.

Good luck dealing with the BS, you definitely have your priorities straight.

 

[mhansen43]

Thank you for all your replies I appreciate it. As far as getting my house in order I mean it's a little messy right now but nothing that an hour for cleaning won't fix. As far as doctor appointments for my son I actually have one next week for his 7th grade shots but other than that we have always kept up with that kind of stuff. We both will be doing counciling and groups it's required for the clinic we go to (we got to a state place) but it doesn't start until around 3 weeks after we start the methadone so we can get up to the dose we need which it good because we just started Monday and they started us both at 30mg we only go up 5mg every couple of days so tomorrow we will go up to 35mg then up 5 more Monday and so on until we reach 60mg which is going to take around 2 and a half weeks and we both had a 4 to 5 bundle a day habit so 30mg isn't doing shit right now. The doctor said it probably wouldn't and if we needed to keep using for a little while until we reach the right side we could but try not to use too much so we are down from 40 to 50 bags a day (we snort it) to around 1 to 1 and a half bundles a day (10-15 bags) so that is a problem I know but in order to not be in withdraw and be able to work and take care of our son it's what we have to do right now. But I am working to get completely off it all together I hope maybe by this Monday when we get up to 40mg it will start to help and we can maybe deal with the withdraw but the doctor said with our habit it probably won't start really working until we reach anywhere from 60-80mg. The good thing is once we reach 60mg they said we can go up by 10mg each day after that until we are comfortable. Also this is not something we want to stay on long term we only want to get up to where we are comfortable and then start to come back down. I know coming of methadone is not easy and seriously neither of us ever wanted to go on it but the shit we get is like all fentanyl so getting the time in to get onto subs is around 60-72 hours for us I've gone into precipitated withdraw at 50 hours so that's why we went onto methadone. Our goal is to be off everything but it's going to take time.
As far as cutting his family off well right now he is pissed and says if they do call CYS he is done but idk if he will stick to it he is very close to his family and he makes excuses for them all the time. I get it to a point but I've dropped my entire family because they have brought me nothing but pain and disaster so I had to walk away, he would never completely do that. All I know is if CYS shows up at my door they are the ones who called and I can handle it but I will not stand for people like that in my life.
I appreciate all the advice and I'll keep you posted as to what is going on.im not giving up I want to be sober so bad so nothing will stop me from getting it. I've never felt like this before I've never wanted it more so I'm not giving up.

 

[LadyAlkaline]

Thank you for all your replies I appreciate it. As far as getting my house in order I mean it's a little messy right now but nothing that an hour for cleaning won't fix. As far as doctor appointments for my son I actually have one next week for his 7th grade shots but other than that we have always kept up with that kind of stuff. We both will be doing counciling and groups it's required for the clinic we go to (we got to a state place) but it doesn't start until around 3 weeks after we start the methadone so we can get up to the dose we need which it good because we just started Monday and they started us both at 30mg we only go up 5mg every couple of days so tomorrow we will go up to 35mg then up 5 more Monday and so on until we reach 60mg which is going to take around 2 and a half weeks and we both had a 4 to 5 bundle a day habit so 30mg isn't doing shit right now. The doctor said it probably wouldn't and if we needed to keep using for a little while until we reach the right side we could but try not to use too much so we are down from 40 to 50 bags a day (we snort it) to around 1 to 1 and a half bundles a day (10-15 bags) so that is a problem I know but in order to not be in withdraw and be able to work and take care of our son it's what we have to do right now. But I am working to get completely off it all together I hope maybe by this Monday when we get up to 40mg it will start to help and we can maybe deal with the withdraw but the doctor said with our habit it probably won't start really working until we reach anywhere from 60-80mg. The good thing is once we reach 60mg they said we can go up by 10mg each day after that until we are comfortable. Also this is not something we want to stay on long term we only want to get up to where we are comfortable and then start to come back down. I know coming of methadone is not easy and seriously neither of us ever wanted to go on it but the shit we get is like all fentanyl so getting the time in to get onto subs is around 60-72 hours for us I've gone into precipitated withdraw at 50 hours so that's why we went onto methadone. Our goal is to be off everything but it's going to take time.
As far as cutting his family off well right now he is pissed and says if they do call CYS he is done but idk if he will stick to it he is very close to his family and he makes excuses for them all the time. I get it to a point but I've dropped my entire family because they have brought me nothing but pain and disaster so I had to walk away, he would never completely do that. All I know is if CYS shows up at my door they are the ones who called and I can handle it but I will not stand for people like that in my life.
I appreciate all the advice and I'll keep you posted as to what is going on.im not giving up I want to be sober so bad so nothing will stop me from getting it. I've never felt like this before I've never wanted it more so I'm not giving up.

You've got this.

The doctor has not called CPS as we call it here, so even if his family does call them, there may be a chance they won't even come out because they get SO MANY CALLS. They'd have to outright lie and say you're so strung out your child is neglected. As it stands now, I'd just stay on the right path and not even sweat it.

I recently in had a bout with CPS myself. I was devastated. I was over five years clean and living this super perfect Martha Stewart life. False accusations triggered an investigation, and I had to deal with CPS for about six months.

I have worked on the good side of CPS to adopt two children out of foster care. The investigating caseworker asked me for references, so I gave her some:

All of my adopted children's former foster parents I co-parented with
My adopted children's former caseworker of 6 years (and believe me I called her as soon as they left)
The social services ATTORNEY
And a district court judge

All of whom I love dearly and am friends with to this day.

Will you believe that bitch and her racist supervisor didn't even call not one of my references?

They came out on a Friday. I immediately said I was moving. The investigation worker tried to talk me out of it. I told her, "You're telling me that my toddler is in danger residing in the same house with these two mentally ill teenagers and your best advice to me is a safety plan? I am moving and here is the address I will be at"

Signed up for Plushcare, immediately got anti anxiety and anti depressant medication. Immediately got my toddler son into play therapy and therapy yoga. Immediately began taking three online parenting courses. Started therapy for myself. Blew everyone out of the water.

I worked with CPS for three years, don't fuck with me lady.

And that was that. The proxy caseworker in the new county was AMAZING, I loved having her over, looked forward to our video calls and my son to this day still asks about his best friend.

ANYONE CAN BE INVESTIGATED BY CPS.

You would be AMAZED at the amount of people you know that have had CPS knock on the door. It is by no means your measure as a parent.