Why don't you try speaking with your parents, siblings or a close friend first? Maybe your school counselor? Trust me when I tell you some of the medicines that a psychiatrist may give you will make you feel a LOT better... maybe even a sense of that "high" your seeking.
Drugs aren't the answer. I PROMISE you that. Do yourself a favor lil guy DONT DO DRUGS. Go get laid that will make you feel better. Keep in mind, most women will eventually kill you anyway.
Pretty sure its against the the rules of BL to ask the type of question you did. Your thread may get locked by a MOD. Don't get nervous or upset though, it's standard procedure and for your own benefit if it does get locked.
I would like to assume no one here would steer you in the "wrong direction" but please be very careful with anything anyone here or anywhere else tells you and use your brain and common sense.
keep your head up kid! Your young and have your whole life ahead of you and this world is full of wild and exciting things to experience and drugs will deny you those pleasures. I absolutely PROMISE you that.