I need help, I hit rockbottom

[Danshi]

I have hit rockbottom and I dont know what to do..
I am a user of meth for 6-8 months now (I know not very long) I am young..
But that isnt the problem I am trying to resolve
I used to be such a strong person in the mental department
And now I would easily say I am the most depressed fuck at the moment...
I cannot see good in life anymore..
I have a girlfriend that I can never see because she has a partly overprotective mother..
I cannot cope being on meth alone..
I do meth with my girl but never gets to see her at night when the emotions come in to play.
The emotions of being so alone.
I injected 50mg of meth today ((First time injecting)) I then smoked 50mg after injecting
I am alone now and I really need help dealing with emotions and loneliness..

I also think i fucked up IV because when I went to inject into my vein he did draw back for blood so I did hit a vein however shaking could of pulled the syringe out before pushing down on the plunger or pierced through the vein too far..
As soon as I injected I didnt feel much pain however it immediately swell up.. 12 hours later ((NOW)) my injection point is less swollen but stings.. Should SWIM be worried?

Update: Still got a bit of a bump and sore to touch.

 

[Dmilla18]

I'm new this and it's pretty hard to do because its Saturday and I haven't been able to sleep a wink since Tuesday morning. I'm trying my hardest and even though wicked spun I am still making an effort because these binges have been going on for a while now and getting more and more frequent.

 

[szuko000]

Dear god remove all of that SWIM BS as we do not play that game here. Normally I would do it for you but that looks like full time work and I already have a job so yeah....

Please review the BLUA we do not use SWIM here. No hard feelings I just dont want to edit that mess

 

[Dmilla18]

I have more gear and I have been debating for hour's if I am going to do more. I'm just sitting on the edge of my bed all twisted up and every muscle is flexed to the maximum. I don't know why I torture myself like this when we know I going to go till it's all gone. I'm just prolonging the inevitable awful long ass crash.I do have some comfort meds for the crash but I don't have any real landing gear which is gonna make it really long and drawn out. I already wicked depressed because I feel like a peice of trash because of I not showered and have on super dirty sweats. It makes me feel like a junkie bum

 

[deos68]

head to the nearest place to get professional medical to atleast get it looked at
ER dont care about morals all they do is fix you up and send you on your way.....might get a hell of a bill ithout insurance but a couple hundred $ isnt shit compared to your life

 

[Dmilla18]

This just won't end. I have not even started to crash at all yet. Mentally I feel like an alien space cadet and I can't concentrate on stuff think really hard... I am m not getting anything done at all today and I am being completed useless with every idea I came up with. Still waiting for that majorly bad crash comedown that I know is eventually going to show up which I am dreading really bad. I'll check in later on tonight and give a status update

 

[willy33]

SWIM should stop looking at the whole picture. SWIM should focus on one thing at a time. SWIM should feel good he has a girlfriend. SWIM should remember that methamphetamine is a fucking evil drug that only good for two things: having sex and masturbating if you can't find someone to have sex with. SWIM need not worry about his miss and the swelling. If it's still there in five days see a doctor. How old is SWIM?

 

[Danshi]

I am early 16

 

[T. Calderone]

You say that you think you may have missed a shot? Please stop injecting! Meth at age 16 is bad enough, but with IV usage you could end up with infections, abscesses or worse. Talk to your parents or somebody you can trust and try to get help for your addiction.

p.s. It is confusing to read because you are using two accounts. Please choose only one, and like szuko said, we do not allow "swim" at Bluelight.

 

[Danshi]

You say that you think you may have missed a shot? Please stop injecting! Meth at age 16 is bad enough, but with IV usage you could end up with infections, abscesses or worse. Talk to your parents or somebody you can trust and try to get help for your addiction.

p.s. It is confusing to read because you are using two accounts. Please choose only one, and like szuko said, we do not allow "swim" at Bluelight.

That "Dmilla18 " account isnt me I have no idea as to why he is saying that stuff here :s
At the moment the swelling has stopped and is only a little tender to touch the area has turned a pale yellow like bruising is that okay?
I realize its bad me doing meth at 16 but Its just hard to quit now.. I feel like I can but I will constantly crave it..

 

[Burnt Offerings]

You're 16 and you're slamming already? Daaaay-uuuuum son! Stop fucking with the shit and shooting holes through your brain! The damage will heal but you need to stop using first.

Depression and emotional issues are very common post-meth abuse. They get better as your brain re-learns how to process info like a "normal human"

 

[The.Ghost]

Even if you don't stop using meth, stop injecting. You'll get a needle addiction, separate from the meth, and it'll make quitting a lot harder.

 

[Ligaturd]

God damn. It doesn't mean you aren't a strong person mentally. You are abusing a toxic drug which will cause suicidal depression if you do it long enough, you haven't even finished puberty and you are abusing your brain at a crucial developmental time. I know what it is like to abuse hard drugs at a young age and I can tell you it's hindered my development greatly. Not that this will deter you whatsoever either, just know that it is only going to get worse. There are a multitude of reasons why someone your age would be using these types of drugs and even dabbling with IV drug usage so young, but there are ways to get help with those. I would advise you to stop using, go through the depression and seek some counselling or change your situation a bit at least until you are a bit older and have fully developed mentally.

You did miss the shot, stimulants lend themselves well to ensuring that infection can take hold as they are vasoconstrictors and it's harder for blood to pump into that area and carry bacteria away to be dealt with. If it sits in one place for too long then an abcess is a possibility. IV drug use is a fucking horrible habit to be taking on at any age, it's just not a good idea at all.

Whatever happens, I hope you are ok.

 

[sonicwhite]

A man that loves his girl would never want to hurt her. I.E. Using meth together. I lost my ex because I opened that door to meth. I have been single for ten years. Looking back I have grown in many places. I have regrets but I don't dwell on them. I let them change me into a better person.



The thing you need to realize is that meth is the problem. It's keeping you two apart since her mother is probably smart enough to know when someone is using drugs. Rock bottom is to the point where you would give up anything for her. You would never want her to die of meth overdose would you? Realize that our bodies are not made for this kind of stuff.


I hit rock bottom in 05 dedicated my life to being sober. But the last few months I have been dabbling with RC chemicals. So please take my advice. Love her as tho you would rather die for a noble cause so she can live.