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I love you, Everytime, On Esctasy

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Starcaller

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
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5
So theres this little emotional problem I have. I have a wonderful boyfriend who showed me how to live and love. We had the most amazing experiences together, on drugs like LSD, magic mushrooms and MDMA. We get along with eachother perfectly even without any drugs (though I'm still not really sure if the drugs made me fall in love with him in the 1st place). However... Before this love of ours happened, there was 3 of us... Always had been. Me, him and another friend. We were always together, they showed me what drugs were and we all connected with a special bond, all the experiences, all the spiritual enlightments we went through together created that bond.

Then me and my at-this-time boyfriend fell in love, we had been together before when we were much younger. The three of us still remain, but everything had to change a bit.

Then came the problem of MDMA. I noticed it, the 1st time I took it, and it happenes everytime i do. The other friend and I connect incredibly well on MDMA, it feels like i know him and he knows me. We're normally quite silent about our emotions etc. However, on MDMA, our worlds connect. I feel tingling in my tummy and everytime we hug, its the most meaningful hug in the world to me. I forget about everyone else, even about my boyfriend (who somehow doesnt really care when he's on MDMA). And this friend of mine, he feels the same, we fall in love with eachother everytime we're on E. We talked about it but none of us could figure out these awkward feelings we had. Those feelings then confuse us for 2 weeks or so, then we go back to normal. But I can't wait for our next E together...

What should I do? I love my boyfriend, and I love my friend (On E that is, I think). I can't lose either of them because this is my life and it's beautiful. I'm just scared my silly head will make me do something stupid. Is it just MDMA? Can I control it?
 
It's the E talking. Subconsciously you're probably a lot more focused on your friend because he is not around as much and you want to connect with him more....maybe even the naughty thoughts of cheating on your bf. Subconsciously that is...ahem..


Don't let the drugs control you...just my 2 cents because honestly you're asking for drama. Don't follow your "feelings" and be more logical please. ;)
 
it seems that MDMA can bring us something unreal, but too good that we don't want to say no to it.

I'll tell you a riddle. You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter. You will have comedown anyway :)
 
I'm not sure I fully understand this riddle of yours, but alright :).

Well the truth is he is around and was around as much as my boyfriend was. This whole weird Mdma thing has been happening before I even started dating.
Oh well, drugs do strange things to a mind... I think I can control it, but god, it's so hard because it's also so beautiful.

It's a weird sort of happiness, invincible, like nothing could possibly go wrong. What a perfect illusion
 
Sounds like you'd rather jump your friends bones then ur bf's. Ur walking a sketchy slope there. Be careful.
 
You should try a poly relationship :p

But in all honest you just have to figure this out yourself. Either the mdma is showing you what you truly want, or its amplifying what you THINK you MIGHT want.
 
Thanks guys :), I think it's just the drug, my bf usually ignores me when we take E... so maybe that causes me to turn to my friend. I didn't ever before think of him in this way and I don't, when not on E. I like my boyfriends bones quite alot :D

You're right, drugs gives us happiness, not problems :). Problems is what our minds make... I'll tell that lil devil sitting on my shoulder to shut up next time ;)
 
I am confused.
Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too.
MDXX never steered me wrong.

Tough decision.
 
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