Hey, I have a story. I first discovered that I was sexually abused by my father when I was 22 years old. This was about ten years ago following a long, long bought of depression that ended when my father got physical with me one night and I started remembering my childhood. My brain was just letting me remember, but then it shut down again. I'm in hell again... a long dissociative episode with nothing but numbness and constant pretending and voices and parts and psychobabble.
No one will take MDMA with me in a therapeutic setting. I have taken it alone before and the feelings of despair without the presence of someone else is soul-crushing. I'm looking for help. I have even talked to my therapist and other therapists and professionals about what I want to try and they aren't hip to it at all.
I would be willing to try it alone, but a person that can sit by and understand if I start to cry or need to talk... that seems pivotal to me healing anything. I have tried it a handful of times. If anyone has a suggestion or even wants to be a witness/friend that has healed from any portion of their own abuse, please send me a private PM. I'm a male if that makes any sort of difference. I don't have many friends that want therapeutic benefits from drugs. I'm terrified at shows due to the noise and the lights and usually end up leaving extremely tense and pissed off! Most of what probably prolongs my PTSD is my unwillingness to experience negative emotions.
Thanks for whatever you got! Would love to hear what ya'll think. I'm also in Tennessee if that matters at all.
No one will take MDMA with me in a therapeutic setting. I have taken it alone before and the feelings of despair without the presence of someone else is soul-crushing. I'm looking for help. I have even talked to my therapist and other therapists and professionals about what I want to try and they aren't hip to it at all.
I would be willing to try it alone, but a person that can sit by and understand if I start to cry or need to talk... that seems pivotal to me healing anything. I have tried it a handful of times. If anyone has a suggestion or even wants to be a witness/friend that has healed from any portion of their own abuse, please send me a private PM. I'm a male if that makes any sort of difference. I don't have many friends that want therapeutic benefits from drugs. I'm terrified at shows due to the noise and the lights and usually end up leaving extremely tense and pissed off! Most of what probably prolongs my PTSD is my unwillingness to experience negative emotions.
Thanks for whatever you got! Would love to hear what ya'll think. I'm also in Tennessee if that matters at all.