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Lost I have given up

TripSitterNZ

TripSitterNZ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
6,635
So i was going to quit bluelight and jabberwock my ass and promptly tried to end my life. But sadly it didn't work out. Now im still stuck on this earth. Everything i try do fucking never works out. I try my best. I have been sober for fucking months on end now. Lost my job was a toxic place anyway.

I simply do not want to work anywhere. I cant find anything I acutally enjoy. The more this system becomes crushing the more i can't handle it.

Idk if ill still stick around on bluelight. I just want to run away from society.

I am always nice to everyone and half the time i just get it spat back in my face.

Society is fucking twisted and rigged.

I kept giving myself one more one more chance maybe life will work out. Idk why this world still keeps me alive to suffer in this bullshit system.

Im still gonna give myself a few more months before reattempting, whatever fucking reason god wants me in this spot right now i dont fucking know.

But id alot happier dead.
 
Welcome. Live is dog eat dog, for the time being. You know, don;t store your treasures on earth, store them in heaven vortex like you are doing. Life is to be let go, but you still have to go through it. It is a master class. Pay no attention to people and their whims. If they are mean, you be kind. You come out the winner.

He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. John 12:25
 
TripSitterNZ said:
So i was going to quit bluelight and jabberwock my ass and promptly tried to end my life. But sadly it didn't work out. Now im still stuck on this earth. Everything i try do fucking never works out. I try my best. I have been sober for fucking months on end now. Lost my job was a toxic place anyway.

I simply do not want to work anywhere. I cant find anything I acutally enjoy. The more this system becomes crushing the more i can't handle it.

Idk if ill still stick around on bluelight. I just want to run away from society.

I am always nice to everyone and half the time i just get it spat back in my face.

Society is fucking twisted and rigged.

I kept giving myself one more one more chance maybe life will work out. Idk why this world still keeps me alive to suffer in this bullshit system.

Im still gonna give myself a few more months before reattempting, whatever fucking reason god wants me in this spot right now i dont fucking know.

But id alot happier dead.
Click to expand...
You said it bro-u don't know fuckin'reason why God still hold u in this world.Nor me.Nobody knows answer(except may be some holy men,saints,who are far into this wisdom).Take it easy brother.It could get worst thousand times.....try not to think about that....bad for the mind....just leave the life goes on without to be too attached..what can i tell u.may be older than you,but may be in the same boats.Ain't got answers....just hold on man...u are good guy.God bless u man🙏☮️❤️
 
Well,I am sure,that Tripsitter isn't givin' up also.....just tough moments,desperation...etc.I hope,that it will pass,he doesn't leave the forum and i wish him a couple of good days.....right now.Amen!
 
I'm sorry it got to the point where you tried to end it :(

It sounds hella cliche but I feel like I have to say it anyways. Do you have a therapist or some sort of professional you could open up to about this? One thing I have encountered while going through my own tribulations is no matter how bad I have it, someone out there always has it worse. It sucks to have to compare ourselves to other people but it also helps keep us grounded in knowing that we are truly not alone.

I know society sucks. Like NSA said, we have to fight and not let the assholes be what pushes us over the edge. If anything, we gotta keep moving just to spite them. Hell, not just spite them but rub there noses in it.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
So i was going to quit bluelight and jabberwock my ass and promptly tried to end my life. But sadly it didn't work out. Now im still stuck on this earth. Everything i try do fucking never works out. I try my best. I have been sober for fucking months on end now. Lost my job was a toxic place anyway.

I simply do not want to work anywhere. I cant find anything I acutally enjoy. The more this system becomes crushing the more i can't handle it.

Idk if ill still stick around on bluelight. I just want to run away from society.

I am always nice to everyone and half the time i just get it spat back in my face.

Society is fucking twisted and rigged.

I kept giving myself one more one more chance maybe life will work out. Idk why this world still keeps me alive to suffer in this bullshit system.

Im still gonna give myself a few more months before reattempting, whatever fucking reason god wants me in this spot right now i dont fucking know.

But id alot happier dead.
Click to expand...
Yeah you are on point except dunno 'bout suicide. But hey, that's just me.
 
Ok well those were kinda dumb choices for words.

I just see that position and mostly live it too right now, it sucks.
 
Please don't try again. I know how you feel but ending it won't solve anything. You'll ruin the lives of people who love you.
When my dad died I wanted to join him and almost did. I'm glad I never. Things still suck but I've been making myself think of the good things. I have food, a roof over my head. There's people putting hungry kids to bed. So I'm blessed more then I realize .
Have you mentioned this to your doctor? I hated antidepressants but they saved my life.
 
I feel your words about being lost.You can't trust nobody,hypocrisy all around,junk food,brainwashing,loss of spirituality....livin' for your dick or belly only,mass idiotism,pain,suffer,depression...devastation....you know"some are born for sweet delight,some are born for the endless night.A level that we must goin' through....like an individual and like humankind.The big secret is that.Why should be like this?God knows,not me.
 
It is just going to feel worse if you try to end it all. And you should try to feel better instead. I'm mean feeling better is what is going to make you feel good.
So you want to get your good receptors working. Please feel better. The more that you want to the more that you will. You should or can start focusing on this way.
Thank you. Life's a trip. YOLO and please be here with us. It's difficult at first, . . . but keep trying like me. Smiles and Huggie wuggies. Smiling. You can do this right !!!
Well you have to now. You made it. Thanks for sharing with us. It's going to be okay.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
So i was going to quit bluelight and jabberwock my ass and promptly tried to end my life. But sadly it didn't work out. Now im still stuck on this earth. Everything i try do fucking never works out. I try my best. I have been sober for fucking months on end now. Lost my job was a toxic place anyway.

I simply do not want to work anywhere. I cant find anything I acutally enjoy. The more this system becomes crushing the more i can't handle it.

Idk if ill still stick around on bluelight. I just want to run away from society.

I am always nice to everyone and half the time i just get it spat back in my face.

Society is fucking twisted and rigged.

I kept giving myself one more one more chance maybe life will work out. Idk why this world still keeps me alive to suffer in this bullshit system.

Im still gonna give myself a few more months before reattempting, whatever fucking reason god wants me in this spot right now i dont fucking know.

But id alot happier dead.
Click to expand...
I really emphaty with you. I Was feeling and thinking same thinks as you for about 5 years. But Now I have a work that fills my emptyness. I enjoy going to work. Im trying to do my best of it and if the life gives you lemons then do lemonade.haha
You are here for someone reason that only the mother nature or GOD knows.
I like that youre giving a few montes and see if you feel better. I recommend you to go and visit a health professional, better a psychiatrist. And dont forget to follow bluelight fòrums.This should be helpful.
Write me whenever you want, Ill be attentive.
Lots of LOVE to everyone
 
@TripSitterNZ what's up? How are you feeling? We miss your words. Tell us what are you doing or just what do you think about this life.
Well all community are waiting for your answer...I hope you're still here!

Lots of 💜❤️🎶🎼to you and community
 
TripSitterNZ said:
I am doing better these days thank you for your kind words.

Trying my best in life. I will never seek mental health support. A pycharist tried to molest me as a teen. So fuck them all. Mental health professinals are a crock of shit imo.
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I hate what happened to you, but one individual does not represent hundreds of thousands of others in the same field.
 
The only thing I have is hope, dedication and patience that things get "right" at some point. Need a goal, though, to get "right".
So far it's worked out over the years but still fuck up on occasion.
 
6am-64-14m said:
The only thing I have is hope, dedication and patience that things get "right" at some point. Need a goal, though, to get "right".
So far it's worked out over the years but still fuck up on occasion.
Click to expand...
I'm at the same point of you. I need a goal too. Now things are better cause I found an incredible job in a bus office. After 5 years lying in my sofa I had lucky or I've been blessed, I don't know but I'm glad. I'm 43 and no wife, no house, no car, only drugs. I know that life is more than that primitive thoughts but I feel I waste my life sometimes when I'm feeling bad. 5 years of depression and nothing happened but now I'm waking up, I have an opportunity, life has been greatfull with me and my best friends. Well @6am-64-14m You know that I'm here, you should know that you can write me whenever you want and I'll be there, at the other side of the ocean but with the same feelings.
I trust in you and I want that you trust in me.
Like brothers, better If It's possible...
Send you ❤️ and 😚
Have a nice day, send u positive vibez
Where are you from? I'm wright when I think you're from America?
 
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