I give up!!

[Justinmoore78]

Coming from couple years of heavy pill using and then 5+ years of heroin addiction i decided after overdosing and dying for 2 minutes I needed a change.

Ok so I moved to my parents in Tn , started taking methadone 120mg for quite a bit but under a year got kicked out from motorcycle accident and loosing my job. Found subs or bunavial here and there Xanax a little but mostly had to cold turkey it. Been over a month and going to the doctor because of accident I was told today that my liver is in chronic failure. He showed me the results and literately everything was in the red as in not good, well besides my platelets they were ok.
He just said ir could kill you anytime between 6 weeks to 60 years. What kind of diagnosis is this? He said because of the amount of drugs I snorted it's what done it. I didn't know apparently shooting it bypasses your liver. He actually wrote me a prescription for 0c 40s and Roxy 30s and Valium. What did I do? Bought a big bag of meth, I'm pissed off! All the shit ive done to overcome my weaknesses to hear this? I'm sure it's good punishing me for my sins I don't know. I'm sure meth us the last thing I should be doing but I just give up, fuck man, I don't even like this shit


My advice to new users, don't want to e d up like me, now every day i gotta wonder this

 

[Moreaux]

So sorry to hear this. It's hard to hear the consequences of our use once we get sober, but many of us enter sobriety only to discover debilitating chronic conditions. It's the nature of the best unfortunately. The prognosis is good in a way, 60 years is a natural life in addition to your current age.

I think the prognosis depends on how you treat yourself moving forward. You are upset with the illness, but turning to meth is only going to make it worse and ensure you are on the low spectrum of that range and not the high. Instead of using this knowledge as a platform in which to jump to your demise use it to lift yourself out of this lifestyle once and for all. That's what I did, and several other members on this site.

The liver is remarkably regenerative if you treat it right. Please don't give up, which you are doing by using meth. You cannot predict the future and you are making illogical assumptions out of fear and frustration. You are not worse case senario, yet. You were doing great, don't allow this set back to derail your recovery. Treat yourself well by eating healthy (clean), getting adequate sleep, and exercising. Those things can go a long way for physical and mental wellbeing.

ETA: I do sympathize with working so hard to get clean only to be confronted with debilitating health issues, it really is insult to injury. It hurts, but you will learn to accept it and then work to fight it. You most likely will be pleasantly surprised with a healing liver

 

[Justinmoore78]

Moreaux , thank you honestly this shit sucks anyways but I will def say it totally helps with heroin opiate sub withdrawal I'm only yawning here and there but I do not like it. I guess I can man up and take it huh ? Lot of pain in my life and I have many demons but I'm trying

 

[herbavore]

Justin, that fatalist voice in your head that says give up is your worst enemy. As Moreaux said the liver is amazing at recovery so if you give up mentally now and just throw more damaging chemicals at it it's not the liver you need to worry about--it's your own thoughts of giving up. You've taken a lot of steps to improve your life--keep going!

 

[d3athadone]

Ya bro I was just thinking about new users today. Prepare for the fucking roller coaster of your life kiddies.

 

[Sobrietysucks]

Ya bro I was just thinking about new users today. Prepare for the fucking roller coaster of your life kiddies.

Well said. Before u pick up the needles ppl, think about the new users and how it will affect the children as ur actions do inspire them.

 

[d3athadone]

Well said. Before u pick up the needles ppl, think about the new users and how it will affect the children as ur actions do inspire them.

Its a nice sentiment but nobody is goinna think that lol. I remember my first time I was so frantic nothing in the world woulda stopped me.

 

[Justinmoore78]

All the stuff I went through, I lost my daughter, I lost 90% of my friends from drugs, I recently got in a motorcycle accident few months back broke 4 bones I'm in a lawsuit but probably won't even make it to collect.

I know I sound like a Debbie downer just the shit i had to go through all the pain and I finally did and got this news it just sucks but yea no more, it actually put me in hospital I was throwing up blood big chest pains. Should get results next day or 2.

Thank you for your kind words guys , actually means alot.

 

[Cdkman]

Hang in there man I know life can beat the hell out of you but keep chugging along and do the best you can