I fucked my brain up PLS HELP!!

[Germinator]

Hello Bluelight members,

I really need your help right now. Let me start from the beginning...
a week ago I decided, even though I had a cold to drop half an ecstasy pill. It was this one (Mickey Mouse) http://www.pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=34596
I had done this before (with a cold) so I thought I would be fine with half a pill. I had some empathy towards the other people there but soon after like 2 hours i became depressed, which led me to drink alcohol. I had never experienced this before on ecstasy only AFTER it. I did not test it, which i know was stupid and I won't ever do drugs without testing anymore. Actually I don't think I will ever do drugs from now on.
The others didn't find the pill great either but couldn't sleep the whole night, which leads me to think the pill was cut with speed. I do think there was some mdma in it but not a lot, it also tasted bitter.

So here comes the bad part: The after-effects: The whole week in school i couldn't focus, had nightmares (which subsides fortunately) and the skin of my head was tingling and feeling numb - which is all normal for mdma after effects. Although I felt way more worn out than usual after mdma, which is weird because i didnt take a whole pill. But all that was normal i quess because i still had a little cold.


Yesterday I couldn't focus on what my parents said when I talked to them and allways had waves of anxiety and my mood changed very quickly from depressed to happy, ebergic and dancing. I tried not to freak out and I went to a house party allready tired, smoked tabacco through a hooca and drank alcohol (only 3 beer in like 3 hours). When I got home I fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night my whole my whole body shaking, could barely walk. it felt like I was cold because I'd get chills but i knew that i was actually pretty warm. my muscle were weak and I was kind of short of breath. It did not go away yet, and I do not have fever. it feels like it is the consequence of my drug use last week, because when I was depressed after the high, I would get these chills too. Also I have chest tightness the whole time, not sure if this has anything to do with it, but never had that either. Also feel dizzy the whole time

Anyways, i will go for a walk now, pls help me im freaked out

 

[dimensiontripping]

First off, I can tell your are really anxious. Take a a deep breath.

When was the last time you took ecstasy or an MDxx substance? Typically you should wait 4-12 weeks between uses. If its been recently, then your comedown will be worse and that might be a first for you. Taking physically taxing substances while you are sick with a low immune system will also just prolong your cold. You might even be confusing some of your symptoms of your cold with drug related issues because of your anxiety. From reading your report, I think you are experiencing acute anxiety unrelated to the drug experience. Even without drugs, anxiety/depression can cause the body to react in very strange ways - those mental conditions put the body under stress just by itself - now add an MDxx/Amphetamine comedown to it and you can imagine it may feel like the world is going to end, but YOU WILL BE OK. The mind is a wonderful but very complicated thing.

I have been dizzy for up to a week after MDxx use with anxiety and depression but I told myself that it is just my mind recovering and it always goes away quicker than you would think. The key to recovering from most LTC problems is to deal with your innate anxiety/depression head-on. Its almost like the brain had a comedown from drug use but your thought patterns and behaviors then continue these side effect even though your brain has already started or even completed the physiological recovery.

I would not worry at all and focus on things that make you happy. You are absolutely going to be ok. If the pill was cut, it will still be ok. Take a hot bath, eat a healthy meal, go to sleep earlier than usual, stretch, meditate, go for walks outside, work on your breathing.

 

[Itsgoneundertheboa]

Don't panic first rule. Your mind is capable of any reality it chooses to tell you. Panic and worry are just negativity created by your brain as your subconscious knows it shouldn't of dropped on a cold, it's good to talk about your feelings and you did just that. If you re read your post pick out the key points of why you now are worrying. Your just paying the price from exhaustion. You had a cold your body was not a 100% and the comedown will ALWAYS be a lot harsher. MDMA isn't a drug to cure a cold nor partying, smoking etc. rest is.

My advice take a break get rid of your cold and when and if you choose to have another go dont take anything you haven't tested and always give yourself recovery space before redosing

Get chilled and relax. If the syptoms persist or don't reduce go see the doc.

 

[BlueBull]

^ & ^^

Fantastic replies. I have nothing further to add. Listen to these two posters, they know what they are talking about. The most important thing is to let go and accept that there can be after-effects but that it's just your body seeking its' equilibrium. MDMA is a powerful drug, hence the after-effects can appear disturbing as well, but they are by no means permanent, they are just that, temporary after-effects. Even weed when over-consumed can cause visual disturbances for some people for a while after

Normally questions like this go in the recovery thread, there are more people that can help with this in there. But since it took me a while to see this and there are already replies, I'll leave it, otherwise it will get confusing if I merge it now

 

[Germinator]

Thank you so much for the replies. I actually calmed down a little. Sorry if the text I wrote was a little confusing.

So here are the actual reasons why I am so anxious (fortunately not as much as before):

- I only took half a pill and had such bad after effects
- And mainly because i woke up in the middle of the night my whole body shaking, my muscles not in control. it felt like the usual "brain zaps" that you get post MDMA use, only that the "zap" goes through your whole body and makes your muscles contract.
- I sometimes have eye wiggles and my scalp, down my neck and face it feels and is numb
- I am afraid that this condition will consist like this in future

Anyway, I will make the best out of it and chill for a week, do my best in school and if it is not better since then, I will go see a doctor.
Has anybody else had any of those symptomsß

Replies are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

Edit: Before I rolled I had a 2 month break.

 

[Itsgoneundertheboa]

Thank you so much for the replies. I actually calmed down a little. Sorry if the text I wrote was a little confusing.

So here are the actual reasons why I am so anxious (fortunately not as much as before):

- I only took half a pill and had such bad after effects
- And mainly because i woke up in the middle of the night my whole body shaking, my muscles not in control. it felt like the usual "brain zaps" that you get post MDMA use, only that the "zap" goes through your whole body and makes your muscles contract.
- I sometimes have eye wiggles and my scalp, down my neck and face it feels and is numb
- I am afraid that this condition will consist like this in future

Anyway, I will make the best out of it and chill for a week, do my best in school and if it is not better since then, I will go see a doctor.
Has anybody else had any of those symptomsß

Replies are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

Don't worry about others and trying to find out answers. You won't find them or a miraculous cure, just lots of stories of anxiety and worry and that's not what you need at the moment.

Your capable of writing and thinking. You've been active. You can smile?

Your body is just recovering and your mind is trying to protect itself. It had something new and your trying to quantify what it was.

If you look for doom a gloom you'll only find answers which don't represent your brain but someone else's and that just creates a stupid cycle of self recrimination as you begin to wonder if you have the same, oh god what did I do etc. I get the feeling you started that process already so stop and relax.

Chill out turn off the brain and try focusing on something else. If you can light exercise and feel the pleasure of the body releasing its own drugs naturally and I assure you you'll feel better.

Remember what you felt think of the good time you had and learn from that. Your now part of that world where some people will never go and you probably realised at some point in your experience that it was not the bad place everyone makes out it is.

Your just feeling down to earth bang syndrome, along with an underlying illness. Give it time.

What goes up must come down. You ll find earth very soon.

Big hug we have all been there ?

 

[voodoo3182]

As the others have said... Your gonna be fine. Classic sign of a comedown is thinking that you've permanently damaged your brain. I've been there so many times before, but now I know that I'm gonna be ok, it doesn't bother me no more. Long hot baths, plenty of food and drink.... Fruit and vitamins. Just takes time.

 

[trancetasy]

alcohol and mdma is not a good mix. for me it just weakens the mdma experience.
what you need is healthy food/exercise, you'll be fine in a few days.

 

[Thomas29]

This Why I Went From Once Every 30 Days Usage Down To Once every 5-6 Months Usage For Pure MDMA Crystals Capsuled And Swallowed.

 

[Innerpeace]

Thank you so much for the replies. I actually calmed down a little. Sorry if the text I wrote was a little confusing.

So here are the actual reasons why I am so anxious (fortunately not as much as before):

- I only took half a pill and had such bad after effects
- And mainly because i woke up in the middle of the night my whole body shaking, my muscles not in control. it felt like the usual "brain zaps" that you get post MDMA use, only that the "zap" goes through your whole body and makes your muscles contract.
- I sometimes have eye wiggles and my scalp, down my neck and face it feels and is numb
- I am afraid that this condition will consist like this in future

Anyway, I will make the best out of it and chill for a week, do my best in school and if it is not better since then, I will go see a doctor.
Has anybody else had any of those symptomsß

Replies are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

Edit: Before I rolled I had a 2 month break.

yes i had these effects, body temperature lowers , take your temperature and take it regularly. yes brain zaps, crazy dreams goig in and out of consciousness. tearing up crying and feeling ultra emotional and expressing it

mine took a week to get better . Pretty sure its serotonin syndrome what we both had. watch some youtubve videos on ss and serotonin drugs. ill never use 5-htp, passion flower or any supplements I dont know exactly whats in them bc its possible this is what cause my bad side effects. I ended up passing out six days after I did my "roll" so for me it last a week and had super low blood sugar , i was cooking in kitchen passed out and head hit the floor after I went down kind of waking me up- t'was bad


did you take any dopamine raising supplements or drugs like l-dopa before the roll? If so dont do this it causes much higher neurotoxic side effects and yes make you roll harder bc serotonin is opposite of dopamine ..serotonin high= dopamine low and dopamien high- serontin low so when a strong serotonin releaser does hit, you get really high, bc serotonin so suppressed, which causes bad sides and in some extreme doses cause death

did you test your pill?

most important the mistake most people make , thats so cliche , and so overlooked, and even if you did could still be contaminated

sounds like either
1.dopamine was too high of serotnin too low
2.too high a dose then body could handle
3. contaminated.

 

[Germinator]

Hey guys, just a little update.. I am feeling a lot better. After I passed out working out in the gym 2 weeks ago I just ate, slept and studied (although studying is hard when you feel like a zombie). I was very tired the whole time, especially in the first week after experiencing serotonin syndrom.

Now 3 weeks after I still have muscle twitches and brain zaps but they are not as bad as they were the first week. And finally I can sleep like a baby which feels great. Also the past two days I seemed to get my cognitive abilities back. I could never focus in school and basically missed 3 weeks of school. I am glad i don't feel like a zombie anymore. Which was really hard was that whenver I talked to somebody I could not find the right vocabulary and sometimes the sentence didn't even make sense lol

My vision is not 100 percent back, I still get a little eye wiggle here and there when I quickly look in a different direction. Thankfully I don't wake up with my eyes crossed anymore. That was really disturbing haha

Now I hope my muscle twitches, numb, tingly feeling on my scalb and all the other symptoms will go away completely. I went to the doctor who said that they propbaly will but that there is certain disease than can be triggered with mdma use, I forgot the name, that could affect me permanently.

And yes, the pill was propably cut with speed, I didn't test it, because my friends were awake the whole night and could't sleep the day after either. I also react pretty badly to speed, I did it twice and one time i overosed which made me depressed for one week. And has anybody else experienced flu like feelings on speed, where you get goosebumps all over your body even though your bodytemperature is normal? Would be interesting to know.

I don't want to blame MDMA for all those symptoms, however the 6 times i did ecstasy I allways had bad after effects that greatly affect my cognitive and speaking ability and I feel like a depressed zombie for a whole week afterwards. And even though I love the MDMA experience and it gave me my love to electronic music, to me personally it is not worth the after effects. I won't do any ecstasy/molly until I move out my parents house to give me some time to recover from all that and i might save the beautiful MDMA expereince for once a year after that, propably my birthday. To me I have never taken a drug that had that bad after effects and MDMA is not as safe as everybody says it is in my experience.

So thank you everybody for your support, I am not gonna lie, the past weeks were tough as shit.

So always test your stuff, I learned it the hard way!!

 

[Germinator]

Okay, so one month later I still have tingling sensations and wake up twitching and sweaty. It has gotten better though and at least I know now that it is anxiety (the doctor told me). High THC sativa weed makes it worse. So I definitly won't smoke weed and of course won't do any amphetamines in my life EVER again. It always gave me anxiety for days after, although not as bad as the last time for which I opened this thread for. It seems that I am pre disposed to anxiety and a close family member got a bad
anxiety disorder just by smoking weed.

So what I learned was that for now I will stick to psychedelics and disassociatives (GHB for partying). Of course only when the anxiety passed completely which I am sure will in short time when I start exercising again.

 

[hyip1]

yo me too, just a week ago i pop 2 mdma in a night then htp-5,erimin to sleep. feeling like zombie now, yesterday is lot worst. mdma gets you hard but goes out quick too generally speaking for most people. brain ok , muscle is aching esp the neck area ....not so bad or the worst withdrawal i got. melatonin helps .....think i should be stocking them up..

Okay, so one month later I still have tingling sensations and wake up twitching and sweaty. It has gotten better though and at least I know now that it is anxiety (the doctor told me). High THC sativa weed makes it worse. So I definitly won't smoke weed and of course won't do any amphetamines in my life EVER again. It always gave me anxiety for days after, although not as bad as the last time for which I opened this thread for. It seems that I am pre disposed to anxiety and a close family member got a bad
anxiety disorder just by smoking weed.

So what I learned was that for now I will stick to psychedelics and disassociatives (GHB for partying). Of course only when the anxiety passed completely which I am sure will in short time when I start exercising again.