Mental Health I Feel Like I'm in Jail

[Lovecraft]

I've been in jail before, about 30 years ago. But lately, I've been feeling like my life is basically like being in a sort of jail, albeit one with more freedoms. When I was in actual jail, there were also various situations that you could be in that has greater or lesser freedoms. But even though now I'm not in actual jail, I can't just do anything or go anywhere I please. I'm restricted by money and work.

I was watching Stranger Things season 4, and in one of the episodes this character describes living as "wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce and die" and that's pretty much my life in a nutshell.

I just want to break the fuck out, at least once in a while. Maybe not all the time. But occasionally. I never get to. And I'm starting to feel really institutionalized and depressed.

 

[Opi_Kid_Rock]

The Buddhists call the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth’Samsara.’

Many of the Tibetan Buddhists are trying to be free from that reoccurring cycle by achieving enlightenment.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I've been in jail before, about 30 years ago. But lately, I've been feeling like my life is basically like being in a sort of jail, albeit one with more freedoms. When I was in actual jail, there were also various situations that you could be in that has greater or lesser freedoms. But even though now I'm not in actual jail, I can't just do anything or go anywhere I please. I'm restricted by money and work.

I was watching Stranger Things season 4, and in one of the episodes this character describes living as "wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce and die" and that's pretty much my life in a nutshell.

I just want to break the fuck out, at least once in a while. Maybe not all the time. But occasionally. I never get to. And I'm starting to feel really institutionalized and depressed.

Do you have any hobbies you can dive into in order to pass the time while you're not at work?

For me it was music and songwriting. There were a couple of years where I was immersed in playing guitar nearly every waking hour I wasn't at work. Not saying you have to do music, it can be any type of art or creativity. Music, visual art, carpentry, pottery, writing or poetry, etc. The point is to make something tangible that you can hold in your hand and say, "I made this." It can be very therapeutic and grounding as well as giving a sense of accomplishment.

I know we live in a capitalist society but I am NOT suggesting you have to make something to sell. Just do it for you. Hell, I've literally spent thousands of dollars on instruments and recording equipment to make albums/CDs. Never sold one but I've given away dozens to friends, family, and acquaintances. What better way to celebrate someone's birthday or xmas by giving the gift of something you created yourself instead of spending money on something someone else made.

 

[Lovecraft]

Do you have any hobbies you can dive into in order to pass the time while you're not at work?

For me it was music and songwriting. There were a couple of years where I was immersed in playing guitar nearly every waking hour I wasn't at work. Not saying you have to do music, it can be any type of art or creativity. Music, visual art, carpentry, pottery, writing or poetry, etc. The point is to make something tangible that you can hold in your hand and say, "I made this." It can be very therapeutic and grounding as well as giving a sense of accomplishment.

I know we live in a capitalist society but I am NOT suggesting you have to make something to sell. Just do it for you. Hell, I've literally spent thousands of dollars on instruments and recording equipment to make albums/CDs. Never sold one but I've given away dozens to friends, family, and acquaintances. What better way to celebrate someone's birthday or xmas by giving the gift of something you created yourself instead of spending money on something someone else made.

Thanks for the comment. I agree with you completely. Unfortunately, my only real interest is motorcycles. I love everything about them - riding, working on them. Right now I'm not in a position to do that. It requires a tremendous amount of time, which would ordinarily sound great in my situation and at one time it was. But I have family responsibilities that occupy a lot of my time now so I can't really devote too much to anything right now.

 

[Lovecraft]

I turned 49 the other day and I realize that I've never really been anywhere. I haven't left this pretty small radius of ground that encompasses 4 neighboring cities. I don't have the time or money but I just want to get the fuck out for awhile. I'm basically a prisoner.

 

[ions]

You can get bailed out of jail. But once you've been in, it's like you never really leave. You just get some freedoms back, but cops are monitoring your life.
We all live in prisons of our own design. And our crumbling economy isn't helping. I'm sorry you feel that way. But i'm in a similar boat. Went to jail twice about ten years ago, and now I'm trying to make it out of my parents basement. It's a safe haven, but it's like I"m just hiding out waiting. for the good life?

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

there is a good reason you still have the locked up mentality.... you are locked in.
the only way i see breaking out is leaving it all behind if ya can and be you onna mountain somewhere. our formal teachings will not make it easy and we may have to learn new skills.
been there and stilled locked in this small world we have created.
the only thing holding me back atm are those who have become my life. thats it.
live or die i am ready as a mf to gtf away from this stage.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I've felt like I'm under house arrest for the last five years or so. I mean 20 years ago you could actually move house without much trouble. Now it's hard for people to even get a house.

There have also been a lot of changes to society that aren't obvious but have forced people to conform more and more. All related to money of course.

Just last night I was out of coffee but the only things open were convenience stores and I can't pay twice the price for coffee. In the late 2000s there were 24 hour supermarkets. You'd think as a city gets bigger more things would be open longer but it's gone the other way bc it isn't profitable.

So lots of little things like that add up.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I've felt like I'm under house arrest for the last five years or so. I mean 20 years ago you could actually move house without much trouble. Now it's hard for people to even get a house.

There have also been a lot of changes to society that aren't obvious but have forced people to conform more and more. All related to money of course.

Just last night I was out of coffee but the only things open were convenience stores and I can't pay twice the price for coffee. In the late 2000s there were 24 hour supermarkets. You'd think as a city gets bigger more things would be open longer but it's gone the other way bc it isn't profitable.

So lots of little things like that add up.

Yes, I am definitely feeling this as well.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Yes, I am definitely feeling this as well.

I live near the freeway so I hear the commuter traffic loud and clear. It starts around 4am (!) and ends around 10pm. Then there's dead silence and it's like "lights out!" It creeps me out a bit in fact. It's definitely not the Australia I grew up in.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I live near the freeway so I hear the commuter traffic loud and clear. It starts around 4am (!) and ends around 10pm. Then there's dead silence and it's like "lights out!" It creeps me out a bit in fact. It's definitely not the Australia I grew up in.

Yeah it has changed and it is weird huh. I fully agree hun. It's like we're all on autopilot in our own little bubbles, a very individualistic society, very much moving away from the community vibe.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Yeah it has changed and it is weird huh. I fully agree hun. It's like we're all on autopilot in our own little bubbles, a very individualistic society, very much moving away from the community vibe.

I know.. I just wanted a cup of coffee and was thinking I should be able to go ask a neighbour. But everyone's holed up in their house (me included) and there's no sense of community. Then I think well at least I'm not one of the homeless camped on the foreshore down here That's definitely a new thing.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I've been in jail before, about 30 years ago. But lately, I've been feeling like my life is basically like being in a sort of jail, albeit one with more freedoms. When I was in actual jail, there were also various situations that you could be in that has greater or lesser freedoms. But even though now I'm not in actual jail, I can't just do anything or go anywhere I please. I'm restricted by money and work.

I was watching Stranger Things season 4, and in one of the episodes this character describes living as "wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce and die" and that's pretty much my life in a nutshell.

I just want to break the fuck out, at least once in a while. Maybe not all the time. But occasionally. I never get to. And I'm starting to feel really institutionalized and depressed.

Yep I definitely hear you. I think your feelings would be really common in the developed world, where our lives really can just be boiled down to a relentless cycle of sleep, wake, eat, work, eat, sleep, repeat. It's a trap that is ridiculously easy and common to get stuck in.

What do you do for work?

I know.. I just wanted a cup of coffee and was thinking I should be able to go ask a neighbour. But everyone's holed up in their house (me included) and there's no sense of community. Then I think well at least I'm not one of the homeless camped on the foreshore down here That's definitely a new thing.

Oh wow, I actually didn't know that was a thing.... I don't watch/read the news cos I can't deal, so I don't hear about things like that. That's completely fucked.

This is slightly off-topic but it could be related, but I am completely obsessed with tiny houses. Especially if they're off-grid, sustainable, the smaller the better.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Yep I definitely hear you. I think your feelings would be really common in the developed world, where our lives really can just be boiled down to a relentless cycle of sleep, wake, eat, work, eat, sleep, repeat. It's a trap that is ridiculously easy and common to get stuck in.

What do you do for work?


Oh wow, I actually didn't know that was a thing.... I don't watch/read the news cos I can't deal, so I don't hear about things like that. That's completely fucked.

This is slightly off-topic but it could be related, but I am completely obsessed with tiny houses. Especially if they're off-grid, sustainable, the smaller the better. I want to live in a tiny home with my son and our cats ❤

Yeah, I'm probably going to sell this and rather than spend all the money on over-priced real estate I'm thinking of getting a really good campervan. My parents both have houses in Melb I can stay at. Then I'd have money left over to travel overseas, which I really want to do.

 

[Robi]

Yeah, I'm probably going to sell this and rather than spend all the money on over-priced real estate I'm thinking of getting a really good campervan. My parents both have houses in Melb I can stay at. Then I'd have money left over to travel overseas, which I really want to do.

#vanlife#slabcity#mosquitos#imissmykingsizebed

 

[Lovecraft]

@n3ophy7e I'm an administrative assistant - working remotely.

 

[Robi]

whoa my avatar name changed to Doing, then i logged and it changed back, atleast it wasnt Dong

 

[Jabberwocky]

Speaking of which wifey is home.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Speaking of which I am starting back at work today after 6 months maternity leave. I'm SO NERVOUS for leaving my son all day!!!!! It'll be good for us though. And it's good money. The most I've ever been paid in fact.

 

[jasperkent]

My moments of escape are when I'm throwing tennis balls for my dog to chase (she dearly loves this activity) and afterward when we just lie down to relax and she snuggles up to me. This silly dog worships me for merely existing...it both baffles me and brings a tear of joy to my eye.