First of all: hello everyone, that's my first post on this forum.
And sorry in advance for my english :D
Anyway here's problem: I feel like 25inbome fucked me up.
I've tripped just once, 2 weeks ago with 2 25inbome blotters+one joint. The trip was filled with anxiety and paranoia (I wasn't scared about actual people spying on me, it was more about thoughts that I didn't percieve as mine; also I used to give a personality to every fucking inanimate object in my home and that led to many uncoveniences since there's nothing more scarier in my head than an animate towel). Also I used to think in every moment ''I can't do it, this is TOO real'', I just couldn't possibly think about all that matter inside and outside of my house. Also: since my perception was so definite I thought for several hours that I was in a dream and that bothered me so much (who were the spectators? was I the main character?). I could have prevented it by closing my eyes but staying with myself was atrocious: there were so many voices, loop thoughts and nonsensical images. My imagination developed pictures without bondaries and many time the results scared me (eg: there's a factory->the factory has a face->in the factory's eyes there are tenth of monkey skulls->I can see foxes feasting on those skulls->the factory starts laughing->I think ''Why is the factory laughing?'' but I find no sense in that action-> I get scared).
Now: where's the problem?
I keep experiencing all these thoughts everytime I smoke weed. In the same. exact. way.
It's scary as fuck: everything outside me is TOO real and I can't watch it for too long; everything in my head is too irrational, I can think about things but I know that at a certain point I'll have to open my eyes in order to avoid pictures and things that are TOO nonsensical with my mind.
It's like experiencing pure madness for a certain span of time. Since I'm not able to look at things without feeling horrified there's literally no escape, no free zone. I also can see ''things'': the visual are obviously much weaker than the 25inbome one. I can't project fractals on a wall for example, but if I close my eyes I can vividly see pictures. They're often guided by my will (eg: I want to focus on this particular part of the picture) sometime they're not (eg: I'm looking at an immense tower and suddendly I'm looking at immense line of beer cans).
Why am I experiencing all of this? Is it normal? Should I stop using drugs forever? Only for a certain period? Should I keep smoking weed in order to ''train'' my mind and overcome all of these immense fears?
Thanks in advance for the answers.
And sorry in advance for my english :D
Anyway here's problem: I feel like 25inbome fucked me up.
I've tripped just once, 2 weeks ago with 2 25inbome blotters+one joint. The trip was filled with anxiety and paranoia (I wasn't scared about actual people spying on me, it was more about thoughts that I didn't percieve as mine; also I used to give a personality to every fucking inanimate object in my home and that led to many uncoveniences since there's nothing more scarier in my head than an animate towel). Also I used to think in every moment ''I can't do it, this is TOO real'', I just couldn't possibly think about all that matter inside and outside of my house. Also: since my perception was so definite I thought for several hours that I was in a dream and that bothered me so much (who were the spectators? was I the main character?). I could have prevented it by closing my eyes but staying with myself was atrocious: there were so many voices, loop thoughts and nonsensical images. My imagination developed pictures without bondaries and many time the results scared me (eg: there's a factory->the factory has a face->in the factory's eyes there are tenth of monkey skulls->I can see foxes feasting on those skulls->the factory starts laughing->I think ''Why is the factory laughing?'' but I find no sense in that action-> I get scared).
Now: where's the problem?
I keep experiencing all these thoughts everytime I smoke weed. In the same. exact. way.
It's scary as fuck: everything outside me is TOO real and I can't watch it for too long; everything in my head is too irrational, I can think about things but I know that at a certain point I'll have to open my eyes in order to avoid pictures and things that are TOO nonsensical with my mind.
It's like experiencing pure madness for a certain span of time. Since I'm not able to look at things without feeling horrified there's literally no escape, no free zone. I also can see ''things'': the visual are obviously much weaker than the 25inbome one. I can't project fractals on a wall for example, but if I close my eyes I can vividly see pictures. They're often guided by my will (eg: I want to focus on this particular part of the picture) sometime they're not (eg: I'm looking at an immense tower and suddendly I'm looking at immense line of beer cans).
Why am I experiencing all of this? Is it normal? Should I stop using drugs forever? Only for a certain period? Should I keep smoking weed in order to ''train'' my mind and overcome all of these immense fears?
Thanks in advance for the answers.