beastcoast1247
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Not sure if this is the right section, maybe this is supposed to be in the mental health forum section but Im just curious what bluelight has to say because i have high respect for the community of bluelight, i used to just read posts but i made an account to ask this. Thanks for taking the time if you read it. So here we go...
I have ADHD, So, I took methlyphenidate (concerta) 18mg all of sophomore year. That gave me the anxiety i have today. I feel as if that methlyphenidate really fucked me up i have to say. It wired my brain in a weird way. It really pisses me off i never did extensive research on it vs taking it like blindly. March of sophomore year i started smoking weed. I would smoke some bowls and then be done for day. May i was dry the whole month. Then summer i was dry as well. I also switched to adderall XR 15mg in September for junior year. At the same time, a friend got a med card
and i got ahold of concentrates. I loved it, i fucking loved it. Dabs are my favorite way to consume marijuana. That fast intense rush and euphoria all over, that warmth like a blanket was over you.Over the course of the entire school year, i picked up a gram a week pretty much. There was a month of being dry and ofcourse id have a few days of being sober because my friend was too lazy or busy to go to the shop. Sometimes a week. Very random. I didnt really take my adderall much, i would take it mainly on like a sunday to do all my homework. Then from mid-March of junior year, i took my adderall pretty much daily. I switched to IR because i hated XR. Then finished school in june, and the whole summer I got pretty high everyday because I was on vacation in a legal state with my friends. (they live there) I also, smoked a gram a week. And that was just from my supply. We smoked so much weed and wax, my friends would normally buy a couple grams of weed everytime we ran out. I had maybe 4-5 sober days.
Today, I have a minor cloudly feeling in my head. Been like this for sometime. I noticed this after taking adderall and when i comedown and/or days after taking adderall. Like its not too much, but enough for my self awareness to notice it and Im just curious what to do about it, why it is this way, etc. Before you say ITS ALL THE WEED, i have to say yes to a degree maybe it is the cannabis, being responsible for the cloudiness. But I have been sober for like a week or two now. i have no clue when ill pick up again, my friend graduated in june when i was a junior, and since then i have had a problem getting the dank concentrates that are actually up to my standards. Or they will overcharge, so im like you know what, i think life just wants me to be sober right now. Maybe theres a reason why its a pain in the ass to get a legit plug right now. For a while i have had the gut feeling this cloudy ness comes from my adderall. Because when i take it im fine, and when im off it, i feel fine but more cloudy. I feel dumber, like my head right now if i meditate and focus on it, i feel like something in my head is like missing. Like i cant explain it. I really hate stimulants. personally being tweaked out, isnt my thing. and i take 15mg only! I just feel dumb is the way to put it. It really fucks with my appetite as well. Having no weed to help me eat is really hard. In a general sober state of mind i normally dont have a huge appetite and cant finish my food always, which is why i started smoking! also insomnia doesnt help, and I love the shift in consciousness when high. I feel more intuned with myself.
Sober im overanxious and worried, and cannabis does really help me destress as well. I have quite a lot of stress i have to say. I really dont feel like the weed is affecting me negatively. Sure i have my moments but they are temporary. When it was the summer i didnt take adderall, i felt fine honestly. I didnt really worry that much. Everytime i take adderall i just feel like im negatively impacting my brain more and more. Which is fucking ironic because, it really helps me focus. The part ADHD fucks with me is that 1) im a lot slower like when i was tested for ADHD (before i ever smoked any weed or any drug) the psychologist noticed I take a little bit longer to come up with concrete answers for tests when it comes for information. Like I get extra time on my tests and when I take the extra time, i do a lot better than if i didnt. When on adderall, i dont have to have that extra time because the thoughts come quicker. Another thing, my mind will fucking wonder. ill have to reread the question ten thousand times to understand what im reading, because simply the first few times i read it, Im like what the fuck did i just read. like i read the letters and not put it together. Thats because when i first read it im thinking of other shit. Then im like okay focus up and really read what its asking. and then i totally get it. It makes me sharper, but i feel like the adderall is making me worse physically. Maybe its anxiety thinking im in pain and maybe reality is physically my brains fine. Sadly, people will say, well take a break from all psychoactive drugs all together. I really hate to say its hard for me to focus without my adderall. I really hate it how i need it to a degree. I really fucking hate it but it helps. i dont know if im just being ignorant about it affecting me negatively. When i was on acid, i felt like my brain was at 100% capacity, like i was using my brain to the max for once. It felt really refreshing. Felt "normal" lol.
Wait i have to say. weed has impacted me negatively in one way. ill forget my train of thoughts randomly. Like lets say ill tell a story, half way through it the story, ill be so excited to tell the story because its good, and ill just randomly totally forget my train of thought. Like ill ask the person wait what was i talking about? On another note, its a good way to see if someones actually paying attention to you hahaha. But i did not forget my train of thought typing this! I do also have not the best diet. Maybe thats a culprit.
I have ADHD, So, I took methlyphenidate (concerta) 18mg all of sophomore year. That gave me the anxiety i have today. I feel as if that methlyphenidate really fucked me up i have to say. It wired my brain in a weird way. It really pisses me off i never did extensive research on it vs taking it like blindly. March of sophomore year i started smoking weed. I would smoke some bowls and then be done for day. May i was dry the whole month. Then summer i was dry as well. I also switched to adderall XR 15mg in September for junior year. At the same time, a friend got a med card
and i got ahold of concentrates. I loved it, i fucking loved it. Dabs are my favorite way to consume marijuana. That fast intense rush and euphoria all over, that warmth like a blanket was over you.Over the course of the entire school year, i picked up a gram a week pretty much. There was a month of being dry and ofcourse id have a few days of being sober because my friend was too lazy or busy to go to the shop. Sometimes a week. Very random. I didnt really take my adderall much, i would take it mainly on like a sunday to do all my homework. Then from mid-March of junior year, i took my adderall pretty much daily. I switched to IR because i hated XR. Then finished school in june, and the whole summer I got pretty high everyday because I was on vacation in a legal state with my friends. (they live there) I also, smoked a gram a week. And that was just from my supply. We smoked so much weed and wax, my friends would normally buy a couple grams of weed everytime we ran out. I had maybe 4-5 sober days. Today, I have a minor cloudly feeling in my head. Been like this for sometime. I noticed this after taking adderall and when i comedown and/or days after taking adderall. Like its not too much, but enough for my self awareness to notice it and Im just curious what to do about it, why it is this way, etc. Before you say ITS ALL THE WEED, i have to say yes to a degree maybe it is the cannabis, being responsible for the cloudiness. But I have been sober for like a week or two now. i have no clue when ill pick up again, my friend graduated in june when i was a junior, and since then i have had a problem getting the dank concentrates that are actually up to my standards. Or they will overcharge, so im like you know what, i think life just wants me to be sober right now. Maybe theres a reason why its a pain in the ass to get a legit plug right now. For a while i have had the gut feeling this cloudy ness comes from my adderall. Because when i take it im fine, and when im off it, i feel fine but more cloudy. I feel dumber, like my head right now if i meditate and focus on it, i feel like something in my head is like missing. Like i cant explain it. I really hate stimulants. personally being tweaked out, isnt my thing. and i take 15mg only! I just feel dumb is the way to put it. It really fucks with my appetite as well. Having no weed to help me eat is really hard. In a general sober state of mind i normally dont have a huge appetite and cant finish my food always, which is why i started smoking! also insomnia doesnt help, and I love the shift in consciousness when high. I feel more intuned with myself.
Sober im overanxious and worried, and cannabis does really help me destress as well. I have quite a lot of stress i have to say. I really dont feel like the weed is affecting me negatively. Sure i have my moments but they are temporary. When it was the summer i didnt take adderall, i felt fine honestly. I didnt really worry that much. Everytime i take adderall i just feel like im negatively impacting my brain more and more. Which is fucking ironic because, it really helps me focus. The part ADHD fucks with me is that 1) im a lot slower like when i was tested for ADHD (before i ever smoked any weed or any drug) the psychologist noticed I take a little bit longer to come up with concrete answers for tests when it comes for information. Like I get extra time on my tests and when I take the extra time, i do a lot better than if i didnt. When on adderall, i dont have to have that extra time because the thoughts come quicker. Another thing, my mind will fucking wonder. ill have to reread the question ten thousand times to understand what im reading, because simply the first few times i read it, Im like what the fuck did i just read. like i read the letters and not put it together. Thats because when i first read it im thinking of other shit. Then im like okay focus up and really read what its asking. and then i totally get it. It makes me sharper, but i feel like the adderall is making me worse physically. Maybe its anxiety thinking im in pain and maybe reality is physically my brains fine. Sadly, people will say, well take a break from all psychoactive drugs all together. I really hate to say its hard for me to focus without my adderall. I really hate it how i need it to a degree. I really fucking hate it but it helps. i dont know if im just being ignorant about it affecting me negatively. When i was on acid, i felt like my brain was at 100% capacity, like i was using my brain to the max for once. It felt really refreshing. Felt "normal" lol.
Wait i have to say. weed has impacted me negatively in one way. ill forget my train of thoughts randomly. Like lets say ill tell a story, half way through it the story, ill be so excited to tell the story because its good, and ill just randomly totally forget my train of thought. Like ill ask the person wait what was i talking about? On another note, its a good way to see if someones actually paying attention to you hahaha. But i did not forget my train of thought typing this! I do also have not the best diet. Maybe thats a culprit.
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