I don't understand my trips.

[EphemeralOutlet141]

I've noticed this and wondered for a while. When I compare trips with friends (on LSD/LSA/Shrooms) their experiences seem to closely mirror each other's and mine is way off. I understand that psychedelics can affect everyone differently, but I just found it odd that it's EVERY time. By the way, I've only done shrooms and LSA very occasionally, this is more about LSD.

I almost never seem to get the "psychedelic experience" in terms of visuals, save for my very first time. By that I mean no fractals, kaleidoscopes, colors, patterns. Everything seems to look hyper-realistic and occasionally breathy unless I'm on a higher than normal dose, in which case everything liquifies.

In terms of emotional effects, I don't get much here either. I feel mostly the same, and have similar thoughts with the exception of some delusional thinking (I'm a god among men or my personal favorite of me being a shadowy entity possessing a human body). I feel even further from other people and have less regard for emotion, whereas people describe empathogenic (is that the word?) experiences.

Part of this I attribute to tripping mostly solo, although I have tripped in groups on occasion. I very rarely understand my trips. I feel like they bring me nowhere fast. I generally try to dispel expectations and go into the trip with an open mind, but it still feels essentially hollow and nihilistic like there's no meaning. I almost never feel that feeling of being "one with everything", it's essentially the opposite but not necessarily in a negative out-of-place way.

So basically what I'm trying to ask, is there a psychological reason for this? Am I being told something but I'm just ignorant of it?

 

[burn out]

of course there is a psychological reason. Study the book "The Psychedelic Experience" by Leary, Alpert and Metnzer and then do what it says to do. THen you will underland.

 

[EphemeralOutlet141]

I guess that was kind of a dumb question (I was on drugs). Of course there is, but what I meant was why would I get those effects. Do you possibly have any other reading recommendations? I'd love to read all I can on the subject.

 

[SKL]

Am I being told something but I'm just ignorant of it?

You aren't being "told" anything.
Neurons are firing more or less randomly.
Influenced by chemicals.
Influencing your perception.
Different people, at different times, in different set/settings experience this difficulty.
There's nothing to "understand" about trips, really.
Any meaning/content isn't really meaning or content, just what you derive from a subjective experience.
Go with the flow.

 

[EphemeralOutlet141]

But it's not all random, it can't possibly be. People experience revelations that are actually pertinent to real feelings and circumstances in their lives with psychedelics.

I mean, you're not wrong at all. I just don't think ALL of it is random.

 

[SKL]

Right. What's not random is your set/setting which is sort of the "lens" through which you experience the randomness.

 

[lonsti]

hey,

you say that even with similar doses to your friends, you do not get the same effects. Maybe you are just a Hard Head for psychs. A friend of mine does have to take 2-3 times the ammount of the same drug for the same effect. Maybe try bigger doses and never forgett to let go when on the trip. It magnifies the trip significantly.

 

[Storms]

do you have any issues like a personality disorder, dissociation, or mania/psychosis? have you explored your past and figured out what experiences in your life make you the way you are? sounds like psychedelics might be bringing out certain aspects of your personality that are, well, different from all your friends. especially since you mention lack of empathy, grandiosity and emptiness which are hallmarks of certain personality disorders. not saying you have one, but it might be good to do some introspection regarding your past


some of my experiences on lsd sound similar to yours - grandiosity, being a spirit/being controlled by spirits (essentially dissociation), and the more grandiose/dissociated i get the less empathy i have. as long as i stay grounded in reality i trip like a "normal" person but it's easy for me to get lost in my own head, especially when alone. lsd also seems to be the worst psychedelic for staying grounded in my experience

 

[burn out]

I guess that was kind of a dumb question (I was on drugs). Of course there is, but what I meant was why would I get those effects. Do you possibly have any other reading recommendations? I'd love to read all I can on the subject.

You get those effects because your psyche is constituted in such a way that when you take a psychedelic drug you get those effects. That's the simplest explanation. Psychedelic means mind manifesting, so when you trip parts of your mind/psyche which are normally hidden, rise to the surface. Different people have different areas of darkness in their minds and the experience is also dependent on set and setting. As for why you experience a specific effect, you are in a better position to diagnose that than we are. You must gain self understanding, the more self understanding you have, the more clear it will be to you why the drug experience is manifesting in a particular way.


The feeling like a "god among men" comes from the fact that you are spiritually unaware normally and the drug is giving you some awareness of your spiritual identity but without fully removing your ego, thus your ego arrogantly feels it is a "god among men". You experience yourself as a shadowy entity because you haven't come to terms with your shadow self. The fact that these things are not obvious to you, is indicative of a lack of self-awareness/self understanding.

"LSD psychotherapy" by Stanislov Grof is another good book on the psychedelic experience from a psycho-spiritual perspective.

 

[burn out]

You aren't being "told" anything.
Neurons are firing more or less randomly.
Influenced by chemicals.
Influencing your perception.
Different people, at different times, in different set/settings experience this difficulty.
There's nothing to "understand" about trips, really.
Any meaning/content isn't really meaning or content, just what you derive from a subjective experience.
Go with the flow.

I disagree, i think tripping can help you understand yourself better. In my case, it has helped me heal from a lot of psychological wounds and negative beliefs. Of course you could say that is what I derived from a suggestive experience, that's obvious but how is that a helpful or constructive response?

Its like going to a psychologist and telling him about your experiences and then he says "theres nothing to understand, its just your subjective experience". Not very helpful. If on the other hand, the psychologist can pinpoint the underlying psychological tendencies which lead to the sort of experience his patient had, that can be very helpful.

So in my view, your response was not very helpful or appropriate.

 

[EphemeralOutlet141]

^ tell em

I do feel somewhat dissociated at times during everyday life, but I don't want to self-diagnose anything. I just kinda assumed it was not uncommon among everyone. It was a looooot worse until about this year where it's been sporadic.

 

[sean107]

The visuals you described for your LSD trips honestly sound pretty accurate. Usually HD-like vision, color brightening, minor trails and/or surfaces breathing very slightly is about all you get visually from 120ug LSD or less. 130ug-170ug would probably be where fractals/patterning, color shifting, and possibly synesthesia would occur. As for the differences in your trips emotionally compared to others, everybody does react differently to drugs. However I am curious if OP tends to be somewhat disconnected emotionally even when sober? Maybe that's just how you are and psychedelics enhance that aspect of yourself? I'm also curious if you're for sure that your LSD is actually LSD? 25x-NBOMe is often passed off as LSD and for me and many others it tends to cause very apathetic trips as far as headspace/emotional changes go.

 

[EphemeralOutlet141]

The visuals you described for your LSD trips honestly sound pretty accurate. Usually HD-like vision, color brightening, minor trails and/or surfaces breathing very slightly is about all you get visually from 120ug LSD or less. 130ug-170ug would probably be where fractals/patterning, color shifting, and possibly synesthesia. As for the differences in your trips emotionally compared to others, everybody does react differently to drugs. However I am curious if OP tends to be somewhat disconnected emotionally even when sober? Maybe that's just how you are and psychedelics enhance that aspect of yourself? I'm also curious if you're for sure that your LSD is actually LSD? 25x-NBOMe is often passed off as LSD and for me and many others it tends to cause very apathetic trips as far as headspace/emotional changes go.

I do feel disconnected when sober, it's shifty though. Could be just a random day or entire weeks.

It is most definitely LSD and usually in 150ug and above. Even at one of my larger trips (300ug+) I got similar effects until everything started to melt lol.

 

[Doldrugs]

But it's not all random, it can't possibly be. People experience revelations that are actually pertinent to real feelings and circumstances in their lives with psychedelics.

Psychedelics are a tool. They're not magic. They simply change your perspective. Obviously that can be useful psychologically, but it's all coming from your own mind. Biases and stubbornness can prevent you from working through a psychological problem, and psychedelics can push those things to the side. But it's not an automatic process; you have to participate. Your mindset and setting play a large role, as does your own body. Some people will never get anything useful from psychedelics, while others will take delusional thinking outside their trip and suffer for it. It depends on a lot of factors, some of which are out of your control.

 

[SKL]

I disagree, i think tripping can help you understand yourself better. In my case, it has helped me heal from a lot of psychological wounds and negative beliefs. Of course you could say that is what I derived from a suggestive experience, that's obvious but how is that a helpful or constructive response?

Its like going to a psychologist and telling him about your experiences and then he says "theres nothing to understand, its just your subjective experience". Not very helpful. If on the other hand, the psychologist can pinpoint the underlying psychological tendencies which lead to the sort of experience his patient had, that can be very helpful.

So in my view, your response was not very helpful or appropriate.

You aren't following my point.
There is no extrinsic "information," "message," or "content" in a psychedelic or any other drug experience.
That is solely something we come upon by our subjective experience, which is influenced by our psychology.
In looking at the drug as a lens thru which we can reflect upon our own minds at a degree of distance, it is useful.
In looking at the drug as a source of content or message, therein lies the path of delusion.

 

[Doldrugs]

That is well said.

 

[burn out]

You aren't following my point.
There is no extrinsic "information," "message," or "content" in a psychedelic or any other drug experience.
That is solely something we come upon by our subjective experience, which is influenced by our psychology.
In looking at the drug as a lens thru which we can reflect upon our own minds at a degree of distance, it is useful.
In looking at the drug as a source of content or message, therein lies the path of delusion.

I don't really think I or the OP was implying that the drug itself was the source of a message.

 

[xammy]

Psychedelics arise more questions than they can ever answer to. And maybe that is the beauty of them...

 

[Dresden]

You're probably just getting bunk or weak LSD. If it's real and good, and not some NBOMe or LSA, it should give you butterflies in your stomach up to the point of frank anxiety and make ordinary thoughts seem funny, even hilarious to the point of uncontrolled laughter! Wow, I miss that. Even when it is real, though, you can take a hefty dose and never get any fractals and the like. The overwhelming mental mindset is the most remarkable side effect; even when the time I took a couple o hits, went to a friend's house, and started seeing the patterns on his dad's Persian rug move slowly around and back again (a good visual for LSD IMO), the mental sense of overwhelming, debilitating profundity was the most salient effect.

 

[Mracid]

I've noticed this and wondered for a while. When I compare trips with friends (on LSD/LSA/Shrooms) their experiences seem to closely mirror each other's and mine is way off. I understand that psychedelics can affect everyone differently, but I just found it odd that it's EVERY time. By the way, I've only done shrooms and LSA very occasionally, this is more about LSD.

I almost never seem to get the "psychedelic experience" in terms of visuals, save for my very first time. By that I mean no fractals, kaleidoscopes, colors, patterns. Everything seems to look hyper-realistic and occasionally breathy unless I'm on a higher than normal dose, in which case everything liquifies.

In terms of emotional effects, I don't get much here either. I feel mostly the same, and have similar thoughts with the exception of some delusional thinking (I'm a god among men or my personal favorite of me being a shadowy entity possessing a human body). I feel even further from other people and have less regard for emotion, whereas people describe empathogenic (is that the word?) experiences.

Part of this I attribute to tripping mostly solo, although I have tripped in groups on occasion. I very rarely understand my trips. I feel like they bring me nowhere fast. I generally try to dispel expectations and go into the trip with an open mind, but it still feels essentially hollow and nihilistic like there's no meaning. I almost never feel that feeling of being "one with everything", it's essentially the opposite but not necessarily in a negative out-of-place way.

So basically what I'm trying to ask, is there a psychological reason for this? Am I being told something but I'm just ignorant of it?

The only thing I could possibly think of is Acetylcholine and serotonin balance. If you have alot of acetylcholine then you will have lower amount of serotonin so it could take you a bigger dose to get the same effect altho you can take bigger max dose because your brain is able to balance it with its amount of ACh and stabilize Dopamine and Norepinephrine triggered by Serotonin.

Conclusion take more trip balls. You can also try low amounts of nootropics to increase Dopamine release. Mabe L-DOPA 100mg and B6 50mg.