I don't know anymore

[adampauldavies1]

This is always hard to think of when your gf did seugs when she was using drugs and always out with her friends which are both male and female and then for days at a time staying over at dealers house with her female friends kinda makes you think the worst and I've asked her and she always says nothing sexual happened and I never had a sex drive high I just feel euphoria like a lot so how do I know nothing happened because for 3-4 she didn't let me touch her and I just drowned myself in work and self harm because of how she was acting towards herself and me and family Idn what to think still and yes we are still together but she moved to a different city 6-8 hrs away to get clean and she has been clean for 6 months now but I still can't stop overthinking everyday and I'm taking meds for anti anxiety and anti depression and even anti psychotic because I over thinking so much I brake down and it all goes south I just want to know what she did or what happened for the 1.5 yrs of her using hard drugs and I'm just trying to be calm and go day by day without harming and overthinking she was a young lady who was just trying to fit in with her friends and she never was this way before I was just trying to be a good person by working a lot to support and provide for us and I always appreciated what she did for me and I always spoiled her even when she said no and she never asked me for money to get her anything or to help her with her life or whatever she did with the world Idn what to keep thinking about this I don't want to throw away almost 7 years of love and us being together since we were young I want to know how too move on and forget this problem and pain but how do it

 

[Sixxam]

Man, you can't change the past.. respect her for getting clean and acknowledging her problem. You have to either move on and accept her and move forward. The choice is yours. But dwelling on shit beyond our control w will drag you down quick.

 

[herbavore]

One way that you could start to let go of this in your mind would be to ask yourself what good this information will do you now? Chances are you would just use it to continue torturing yourself and that is keeping you stuck. Over-thinking is a habit and like any other habit you try to change, it takes practice (and patience!) When the thoughts come into your head, try saying, "Oh, you again?" and make an attempt to focus on something else. In a way it is like stepping outside yourself and observing rather than engaging with the thoughts directly.