I did "speed" yesterday, now I feel horrible...

[PMS]

Thing is,

I used to be a "major" speed freak, I.V.'ing speed and meth for almost every day, for 8-9 years. Was "lucky" enough to try the very finest of "speed" products; real "marzipan" paste, pink rocks;
all kinds of "candy smelling" and really potent material. The best speed I did, didn't even give me a "hangover"- even after using many grams.

I quit the needle 10 months ago, and hasn't done any speed since then-

....

apart from yesterday. My neighbor offered me 0,27 grams of what he said was "good speed"; it looked like a piece of chalk, that he had to cut up with a knife...

i "parachuted" it in cigarette paper, and swallowed it down with wine.


Now, this was nowhere "good" speed. I did get kinda... energetic for a few hours, but the high only lasted about 4 hours, and then I went to bed.

Woke up at 06:00 in the morning, feeling really, really "off"- and since then; I've felt completely SHIT. This reminds me, of all the negative aspects with amphetamine- the comedown; the "guilty, empty, sad, " horrible feeling.... my entire body is stiff, like I've been working out at a gym.... my hands feel "bloated", my stomach hurts; and I'm anxious, sad- and find no reason to smile at all.

I know, it will pass... but this has easily been the worst day, in almost a years time. :/

Hope this can be a reminder to clean/sober friends, and also for people, who really need to consider- the negative effects of (usually poor quality) speed.

best wishes

-Erl

 

[PMS]

It's like- all the "well being" and comfortable feelings I had been "storing" inside my body-

now is all gone-

And replaced with all uncomfortable and "illness" ...

I know this feeling from before... It's so easy to only remember "the good times" about drugs;
this was really a "wake up call".

!!

 

[PMS]

I'm even nauseated.

Was hoping that a few beers could "mellow me out" and make the day go by faster...

but it's right before I start puking.

It's been many years, since I had speed that was this bad (poor effects, and intense negative side-effects).

 

[PMS]

I remember the speed dealers, used to sell me bags of speed, that was so nasty; that they wouldn't sell it to anyone else than me.

(when my life was on it's all-time low, and I'd shoot up about anything, to try get high- just the ritual with the needle and everything)...

I'd go completely psychotic and bed-ridden from only a few shots.

fuckin hell.

I need to tell my neighbor that- why the hell is he using (and offering his friends) this *exuse me* SHITE speed.

Having a dose of *top quality*, pure paste, pink rocks (or orange wax) is an unique, religious experience; that should at most leave you a bit "tired" afterwards;
maybe even with an "afterglow".

but this chalky nasty stuff, is poison.


I feel guilty, like I've... done something really, really wrong :/. And I miss my good feelings. Everything I say, think and do- comes out negatively;
makes me angry and frustrated.

really hope that my body/brain/and soul is healed by tomorrow.

 

[CFC]

Sorry you're having an unpleasant comedown PMS.

really hope that my body/brain/and soul is healed by tomorrow.

Yeah, if not by tomorrow, you'll probably be feeling better within a few days at the worst.

Big congrats on quitting the needle and staying clean for 10 months though! That's a big deal. Focus on that huge achievement

 

[DoriansDelorean]

Dude in my own way I’ve found this out for myself that speed is just NOT the way I remember, even when I started finding good crystal; but I’ve never had any pharma grade recreational speed cocktails; actually that sound kinda nice(I do have revelations much like id have on psychedelics but in a different setting)... but I’m starting to think that the dreaded meth high is a mix of meth psychosis and sleep deprivation. I don’t stay up I don’t not eat and ud b suprised how much better ull feel after a warm cleansing shower and gettin some food in ya and getting some shut eye.

Honestly man it sounds like u just had an important revelation into some truths that sometimes ones forgets; like remembering an old friend u forgot you already knew very well; this is the nature of age sometimes; u have to have a different lens to look at things; u have seen how polar opposite your pink and chalk can be; it sounds like one is pharma grqde And the other is some caustic af shit made by someone who can’t give a f what they’re putting out there and can’t cuz if they didn’t they wouldn’t be making caustic badly made meth thst most likely caused chemical neuronal damage from exposure to improperly synthesized chems, u don’t even wanna know the kind of corners that are cut tobmake this shit.
Anyway don’t be so hard on yourself. The burden of age is a lot of time and sometimes forgetting things you already learnt. You say you stopped shooting up ten months ago? That’s awesome man. I stopped shootintg 12 years ago and I don’t regret it at all. If u have been clean for 10 months I really wouldn’t look at it like ugh day 1 again. U had a relapse it happens; get some rest and tomorrow think about things a little bit so as not to repeat if that’s what what you choose.
But we’re all human bro and we all make mistakes, no one needs you to hate yourself for slipping up.
And fuck neighbors who give u shitty meth I swear I have a bag marked CAUSTIC somewhere here from a very uninformed at best; took advantage to pawn some crap off on you. Don’t got time for that shit and it’s funny how often it happens dude.

 

[PMS]

thanks CFC.

From my years of experience, shooting about "every kind of speed" (different batch each time, for 8 years)-

there's some dope that gives more negative side effects; and "comedown"- even poisonous;
and some dope (rare to find) that gives no negative effects at all- instead; a "content afterglow" when the effects wear off.

Unfortunately, yesterday I got the "shite" variety. I'm icky sticky sweaty,
lucky enough to be able to express myself, and get trough the situation;

but yeah...

I told my neighbor that I felt sick from the dope he gave me. And he started making excuses like "oh, you took too much... Since you're an ex junkie, you thought you needed too much...:"
Truth is, his dope is piss poor, I did almost 0,3g and barely got a buzz for 4 hours.

(The last time I had *good* gear, pure meth paste- I did 0,1g , could barely catch my breath for 20 seconds- and was high as a kite for 20 hours. After that, I had a good nights sleep, and woke up completely fine).

It will be a long! time until I try speed again;
and then I'll only touch it; if it's of premium quality.

I'm so angry about myself, right now- you wouldn't believe.

 

[PMS]

...not go get started; on the 80.000USD , 8 years of my life; all the pain and illnesses inflicted;
all my guitars, precious belongings; everything I've lost and all the stupid things I did while "on the needle"-

Luckily I tend to "easily forget" the past, when things are going well.

But whew... I'm glad I don't remember; cause if I did, I'd end up completely traumatized.

 

[PMS]

Hopefully,

Tomorrow I'll be fine, and all this will just be another "bad memory".

I feel sorry for the idiot next door, who buys and uses this shit, and even insists it's "good dope".

....

My intuition says "leave him alone and forget about him"... He even goes as far as calling needle users "losers and worthless people",
while he eats his 0,1 grams of ... poisonous, overpriced chalk?!

He tried to "teach me" that what he had, was "meth". No way in hell it was meth. I could tell by the look, taste and smell. And the effects (lol)
it was poor, low quality amph sulphate, with some really nasty leftover chemicals in it.

"meth".

.... too much for me to handle.

I'm going to bed. Good night everyone.

 

[PMS]

I want to tell my idiot neighbor that:


"You TWAT! Not only did you serve me some POISONOUS SHITE, but you made me PAY for it- and to defend yourself, you call me a stupid "junkie" and tell me, I don't know what speed is. Fuck you."

... :/

But I guess it's best if I just forget all about it. I'll never take this guy seriously again.

Considering giving him a quarter gram of "laundry detergent" in a parachute drop.... "it was really good speed, man"!

...i get so pissed, I could....

:/

 

[PMS]

But I won't.

He's my neighbor, a major idiot; and I should have taken that into consideration, before I ingested any drug (or whatever) from him.

Dudes & "Bitches"- be careful about what you ingest!! :/ This fuckin hell chalk destroyed my day- but; I've heard people die (or become permanently damaged) from single dose uses...

I won't complain anymore.

Had a six pack of beer, and thought things trough. I hope I'll get a good nights sleep tonight.

-Erl

 

[PMS]

New day today-

Woke up at 03 in the morning, with some sadistic bitch high on meth- channeling disturbing imagery/energies into my mind.

Haven't slept since. Now, starting to get real drunk on homemade wine-

and won't TOUCH some "speed" again- unless I'm sure that it's the "good old" variety that I used to love;
the very finest , made by gourmet cooks...

But still... I'm 30 years old now. Can't be frying my pan ... :/

Starting to feel better, in a few days, I hope all negative effects are gone.

thanks for the replies.

-Erl

 

[PMS]

Finally "good" again, drinking pints, of homemade wine-

every ...smell or thought about that shitty speed, makes me feel ill...

I won't touch anything- but premium quality dope, for my next coming life on earth.

-Erl

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Finally "good" again, drinking pints, of homemade wine-

every ...smell or thought about that shitty speed, makes me feel ill...

I won't touch anything- but premium quality dope, for my next coming life on earth.

-Erl

Glad you're feeling better now man! I feel your pain. I used to be a speed freak back in the day (phet, not meth) and would love to get some good shit again, but am having problems finding anything decent these days. I think we just have to accept the fact that drugs are becoming increasingly shit...

 

[PMS]

Yeah man;

I did "good speed" like 10 times, over a 8 year period-

That stuff was either orange, waxy stuff- pink crystal "balls"- or half-liquid, white or orange "paste"...

that stuff would kick my ASS, and give me NO comedown at all!

But the shit I was given, "chalk like" and with a nasty taste and smell-

gave me 4 short hours of "high" (just sublely so), then 72 hours of feeling poisioned. My sweat smelled like burnt plastic.

:/

So, I've given it up. Until the day I can score some real, 10/10 shit . I used to love the REAL high of it.

-Erl

 

[rave23]

The brain plays some mean tricks on us, having the good times ready at the fingertips. But to find all the dark stuff, you really have to dive down there and dig. It's insidious.