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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

I can't do it I'm too weak.

I called a whole list of 40 places. No one will take me. I feel like a shit bag dirt bag for scoring again today I didn't have too.

Tomorrow is Friday. My mother doesn't have work and she will take Monday off if needed.

I'm going to start off fine tomorrow morning, cause I had shit tonight and my wds don't start for a while thanks to my low not really so bad compared to people I know addiction.

I'm going to take it one day at a time instead of worrying about the next day like I always do. My dad said he beat alcohol with jail but stayed off "one day at a time"

So tomorrow won't be so bad, but it's going to be the slowest weekend ever.

I'm giving over my phone at the end of it I'm getting a different one new number and all.

I'm gonna keep my computer and maybe play wow if I'm up for it. The only detox that said it might be available tomorrow involves subs and I'm nor looking to replace.

I've got all the otc expect Loper amide I'm not using any sort of opiate during this long hellish weekend.

I'm off to smoke my last blunt for a while with my buddy will.

I will be using my ambient possibly during the day to be somewhat sedated. It's prescribed to me. I got some otc med for rls.

I'm mostly excited about what i have read for remerons effect on wds I have a full script of it.

Since I do a lot if laying around during wd especially at night I'm going to get audipbooks. One room two fans some helpful medicine my mom right there no phone no money I gave my money to my dad.


Anyway the checklist :

No opiates, subs and lope included.
A ton of gatorade and water... A shit ton
My remeron and ambien...
A bunch of otc Meds
My mom and family not letting me leave.

I have no choice but to.make this work. Wish me luck
 
I hope that you were able to get into the detox place. I just want you to know, you're not alone, and rehab helped me understand that. You just have to realize, it's not your fault. Addiction is a disease, it reconfigures your brain, and makes drugs a priority in your life. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's fucking hard, staying sober. You have to STAY proactive. I feel the same way as you and I fucked up my soberity many times. But, at least, you WANT to stop! At least, you understand it's a problem. You also have parents that understand and love you. When the cravings come, go to them! Let them love and support you through it. When you feel like you can't talk to them, get on here, get it all out of your system. The best medicine is just talking about it. I also changed the way I talked to myself. It will take a long time to love yourself again. I haven't even made it there yet. But, once you get through the first couple of months, you will feel better and better. Get some counseling and get rid of any medication you have that can be abused and find something that is the equivalent but won't jeopardize your soberity. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOUR LIFE MATTERS!! And if you ever need anyone to play wow with, message me. :) Just know, everything will be okay. *hug*
 
I was unable to get into detox. Just a lot of false hope. I was told the only sure thing is Monday. I am not gonna keep using until Monday. 100 years ago there was no detox. I'm just gonna spend all the time I can working and using my brain to shut off any urges. It has not been daily usage for very long. I read about people starting severe withdrawals 6 hours or so after their last dose. Mine don't get like that. I'm just going to have to somehow overcome
 
I got out 2 days ago... Each day I wake up feeling 100x better than the last. I'll never let that drug fool my mind again.
Even if I have to take the vivitrol shot to make sure which is an idea I'm flirting with.
 
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