I blacked out on meth also fuck this is bad

[fuckedinthehead]

I went hard a couple binges ago and I'm not sure what happened.

I have been doing oral doses, filling pill capsules.

I took like 250mg for my first dose. An hour so goes by and I decide to take another 250mg. I wanted to go hard, and I sure did with 500mg in an hour. I had NEVER taken that much before.

I straight up blacked out soon after the 2nd pill. I don't remember it kicking in, which I should remember since it was half a fucking gram and had to come down on me with the wrath of God. Seriously, that's not a good sign, is it?

I found myself in sitting on my bed not knowing when or how I got there. I'm shirtless and I'm not sure when that happened. I realized I needed to take my dog out, I found my hoodie on the floor and put it on, then took my dog out. When I came back inside, I noticed that my whole hoodie was pretty damp. It wasn't raining so that wasn't it. The dog didn't pee on it. It had to be sweat. Like a lot of it. I had a pack of cigarettes in the pocket, totally soaked through. Like I was sweating so much it soaked my entire hoodie and my cigarettes. Yet, I have no memory of it. Nothing. What happened? Why don't I remember any of it? Also why the hell would I not take my hoodie off before the whole thing was soaked?

I don't remember how much time went by. I know that my body "felt" a different time and it kept confusing me. Like when it was 2am, It felt like 4pm.

You'd think I would've stopped the binge there, but no I did not. I kept going. I don't remember how long this one was exactly, at the very least 3 days.

The pack of cigarettes was dry whenever I pulled them out, but it looked like it'd been through a washing machine. It was close to a full pack. Every single damn cigarette had a water stain covering at least 75% of it. It was the only pack I had and I was too tweaked out to be in public, so I had no choice but to smoke them. Fucking confused as hell every time I looked at the pack, how the hell did this happen and I don't remember it?

I probably searched all of bluelight and reddit trying to find someone else with a similar experience. Not much.

How much am I fucking up my brain?

I had two binges after, did a few 500mg doses. Lowest dose I'm taking at this point is ~350mg.

Then an adderall binge happening real time right now. 600mg in the past 24 hours.

In the past 30 days, I've spent 20 days high on meth and missed 15 days of sleep. I barely eat when I'm high then I binge eat like hell when I'm not. I don't drink anywhere near enough water. I am starting to go entire days without food or water, I just forget.

How bad am I hurting myself?

Also also, I got a box of syringes in the mail yesterday and had every intention of slamming meth for the first time. Before I could buy the meth, I came across some adderall and ended up just using that all day. No meth purchased. I'm losing it.

 

[MDPV_Psychosis]

It's not that unusual to experience blackouts when dealing with very high doses of meth + lack of sleep + dehydration + lack of proper food/nutrition.

How fucked am I?

if you were to stop using meth now most likely you would return back to normal after enough time sleeping and eating right.

if you continue binging like this then yes you could be very fucked. Stimulant induced psychosis is a likely outcome plus your body and mind will continue to take a beating and eventually you could start to develop permanent problems, either physical or mental or both.

if you do decide to keep using then it's important to try and use more responsibly. Start taking more reasonable doses, force yourself to eat and drink properly and try to get sleep often (it is really bad to staying up for numerous days in a row). It would also be good to take breaks - don't use all day everyday - maybe use for a few days then take a few days off, etc

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Your use is absolutely reckless and you're on the cusp of a serious addiction. Best advice would be to stop using any and all stims immediately.

Next best advice would be to give any stims a miss for as long as possible. If /when you use again try to use a LOT more responsibly or else you're gonna be suffering serious physical and mental health consequences.

Research harm reduction approaches - thoroughly. You need to be looking at 24 hour sessions at a maximum, preferably less and sleeping every night. You need to lower your doses, a lot! Also, you need to look at vitamin supplements. Crucially, you NEED to hydrate (little and often) on stims, particularly so on amphetamines. don't go over 16 hours without a little food at least

 

[negrogesic]

You need to stop before you OD or experience psychosis. Some people never recover from meth induced psychosis FYI. Also, do not start injecting.

 

[Crackedout420]

Dont let psychosis set in...

 

[Jabberwocky]

Slow down. This usage pattern offers no pleasure and is a fast track to psychosis and severe physical injury.

Also, don’t start injecting meth.

 

[Majiktouch]

Noooo! You are going about this all wrong ! This drug is not a game and will/has caused permanent damage to many well intended people. that just wanted to "go hard" Please do not inject! One can easily become a slave to this bitch and you can't be enjoying yourself like this. Read up on dopamine and how meth affects our levels etc. You're just throwing money away at this point, You already know what to do and I wish you well

 

[Meth novice 79]

This always happens to me too, its a right pain in the ass cos Im SURE whatever it was Im doing in that state it’s fun.

In all seriousness tho, you need a break x

 

[Gaffy]

As long as you're not seeing the shadow people you can keep on playing bender, I went way beyond and I can tell it just isnt the same fun. Sweating heavily is a sign that you're at risk of a heart-attack. And don't start shooting! You'll be seeing crystals everywhere and you get addicted to the habit, after a while you would shoot anything like addi pills full of fillers fucking your veins up.

 

[Crackedout420]

As long as you're not seeing the shadow people you can keep on playing bender, I went way beyond and I can tell it just isnt the same fun. Sweating heavily is a sign that you're at risk of a heart-attack. And don't start shooting! You'll be seeing crystals everywhere and you get addicted to the habit, after a while you would shoot anything like addi pills full of fillers fucking your veins up.

Honestly it comes to a time for a break. You'll know when it happens and you basically have no choice but to slow down or jump over the edge.