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I am a bit confused

She has someone else . Usually explains the weird behaviour.
 
Ligaturd said:
Maybe she wants you to man up and not act like a 20 year old lol. She is playing games with you, I think she likes to watch you squirm. Ask her out for a drink. If she says no then, whatever at least you tried.

But you said you couldn't get her to go out with you at all? Maybe that is the case but you wont know for sure until you try. Or are you being non-committal and overthinking the interactions with her? I dunno, follow your heart or follow your mind.
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I asked her out for a drink multiple times some of them ignored the questions and last time i tried got me into this mess because she said that its not healthy for both of us to go out, im doing my best...
 
zephyr said:
She has someone else . Usually explains the weird behaviour.
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Sounds the most likely.

Or, straight up tease playing hard to get. See, it's hard to understand why she claims it would not 'be healthy' for you two to go out, it's what people do if they like each other.

Your energies may be better spent elsewhere.
 
You have already asked her out and she has said no?... It doesn't matter if she acted like she was into u or she used to text u alot etc. I really think MOST ppl show u who they are and will tell u exactly who they are and wut they want, you just have to believe them! If she's telling u that she won't go out w you, or its not good for yall, LISTEN to her. Life is too short for playing games. She's already rejected u, so fuck her! Just find a new love interest=) I mean it could seem stalker ish if u keep pursuing someone who doesn't return the interest. Btw the age difference thing is utter cap. My x bf is 19 yrs younger than me. It's about chemistry and connection. Love knows no age. True love has no boundaries my friend. .. But you'll never get to love if you can't even get a date. Best of luck to u.
 
Take her to dinner. It doesn't mean that you are going to fuck, more a show of respect and an interest in her as friends or something deeper, if it develops.

I don't understand how this is such a complex issue. Why can't you just try that and get back to us with how it goes?
 
nightmammoth said:
Is it bad?
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Just very cliche. I find the idea of working in a cubicle appalling. The ol' 9-5.

But I digress.

As for your lady problem, it depends on whether you want to play this game or not. She's clearly looking for an excuse to step out of her boundaries and give you a blowjob, for lack of a better phrase. Like, if you approached her and started flirting, what's the worst that could happen? Rejection? Embarrassment?
 
Undefinededges88 said:
You have already asked her out and she has said no?... It doesn't matter if she acted like she was into u or she used to text u alot etc. I really think MOST ppl show u who they are and will tell u exactly who they are and wut they want, you just have to believe them! If she's telling u that she won't go out w you, or its not good for yall, LISTEN to her. Life is too short for playing games. She's already rejected u, so fuck her! Just find a new love interest=) I mean it could seem stalker ish if u keep pursuing someone who doesn't return the interest. Btw the age difference thing is utter cap. My x bf is 19 yrs younger than me. It's about chemistry and connection. Love knows no age. True love has no boundaries my friend. .. But you'll never get to love if you can't even get a date. Best of luck to u.
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Uhm do you also mean that if she said she likes me and that if we were of the same age she would've been head over heels i belive its the saying in english she actually means it, and usually this kind of stuff about her liking me come from her own initiative i didnt really do anything to really bring the term us in the discussion
 
Vagina Lover said:
Take her to dinner. It doesn't mean that you are going to fuck, more a show of respect and an interest in her as friends or something deeper, if it develops.

I don't understand how this is such a complex issue. Why can't you just try that and get back to us with how it goes?
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I would try it but she doesnt wanna go out with me because its not healthy for both of us as she stated
 
iridescentblack said:
Just very cliche. I find the idea of working in a cubicle appalling. The ol' 9-5.

But I digress.

As for your lady problem, it depends on whether you want to play this game or not. She's clearly looking for an excuse to step out of her boundaries and give you a blowjob, for lack of a better phrase. Like, if you approached her and started flirting, what's the worst that could happen? Rejection? Embarrassment?
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This has nothing to do with rejection or embarrassment it's just that i dont understand what the actual fuck she wants from me and makes me even actually doubt myself for some wierd reason because i was sure she likes me and all of that but now she doesnt wanna speak to me and im just like wtf...
 
So do you think that because she shows disinterest sometimes an interest at other times but is playing very coy, do you think this makes you want her even more? I'm always wondering do you guys want a girl more if she acts disinterested?
 
Undefinededges88 said:
So do you think that because she shows disinterest sometimes an interest at other times but is playing very coy, do you think this makes you want her even more? I'm always wondering do you guys want a girl more if she acts disinterested?
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I think so. Like this is the human nature wanting something that seems impossible or hard to get in this example a girl that shows a little bit of intrest sometimes. What im actually thinking... Is that if someones acts only disinterested for a longer period of time the other person might feel left out yet in the same time it might make the guy want that girl even more. Plus if you succeed in making a girl who acts disinterested wouldn't you be very proud of yourself. Something I've taken into consideration while typing this it might be possible that she is playing hard to get and wants me to actually not listen to her and still talk to her?
 
Personally, I'd just ignore her. Silence is usually the loudest thing you can say. If you've already been rejected, stop thinking about it and move on. In my experience, the silent treatment has lead to good things. She knows you're younger and is playing games, and it sounds like you are giving her everything she wants. If you act like you care too much, it usually turns women off. There will be plenty more women in your life, and who knows, maybe even her in the future. Just play it right, and just act non-chalant. If she asks why you didn't reply to texts, simply say "I was busy." If someone likes you, it shouldn't be this difficult.
 
pokepoke420 said:
Personally, I'd just ignore her. Silence is usually the loudest thing you can say. If you've already been rejected, stop thinking about it and move on. In my experience, the silent treatment has lead to good things. She knows you're younger and is playing games, and it sounds like you are giving her everything she wants. If you act like you care too much, it usually turns women off. There will be plenty more women in your life, and who knows, maybe even her in the future. Just play it right, and just act non-chalant. If she asks why you didn't reply to texts, simply say "I was busy." If someone likes you, it shouldn't be this difficult.
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Yes yes. Good advice..
 
I'll bet if you had a little more confidence and decisiveness in your attitude it would help. I've always been kind of a soft guy. Everyone should always be themselves but women don't want a guy that's softer than them so I had to become a little stronger emotionally and work on myself a bit until I became more confident. If she is the one you are meant to be with then it will be, otherwise you will find someone else who will make you forget all about her and it will be her loss. I would make an assertive move and let her know you want her to be yours, however you feel is best. You have everything to gain amd nothing to loose. And its not really weird working with a girl you've been with, unless you still have strong feelings for them.
 
pokepoke420 said:
Personally, I'd just ignore her. Silence is usually the loudest thing you can say. If you've already been rejected, stop thinking about it and move on. In my experience, the silent treatment has lead to good things. She knows you're younger and is playing games, and it sounds like you are giving her everything she wants. If you act like you care too much, it usually turns women off. There will be plenty more women in your life, and who knows, maybe even her in the future. Just play it right, and just act non-chalant. If she asks why you didn't reply to texts, simply say "I was busy." If someone likes you, it shouldn't be this difficult.
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I got it, at least i think so, thanks for advice i will try to play it right and try to distance myself to her even tho i really wanted her.
 
Katrider29 said:
I'll bet if you had a little more confidence and decisiveness in your attitude it would help. I've always been kind of a soft guy. Everyone should always be themselves but women don't want a guy that's softer than them so I had to become a little stronger emotionally and work on myself a bit until I became more confident. If she is the one you are meant to be with then it will be, otherwise you will find someone else who will make you forget all about her and it will be her loss. I would make an assertive move and let her know you want her to be yours, however you feel is best. You have everything to gain amd nothing to loose. And its not really weird working with a girl you've been with, unless you still have strong feelings for them.
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I am really curious on how did you get stronger and confident I've been trying and failed quite hard, i feel like a goon every time i talk to girls even tho i am a good company to girls i can't ever get the girl i want
 
^ nightmammoth- I just started to try and do things I enjoyed and worry less about girls. About ten years ago I decided to try surfing and fell in love with it. Its amazing how opportunities with girls present themselves if you get out there and just try to have fun. I worked on getting in a little better shape. I had a hard break up about five years ago and decided to buy a sportbike. That opened me up to a whole community of friends with like interests all having fun together. I was having fun and loved myself and that shows, even when you are just at work where most people meet their significant others. And I guess I just let myself go with the flo; most of the girls I've been with in my life were met randomly, not while I was actively seeking a girl in general or any one in particular, excluding online dating. When I started to be out of the loop, I went on pleanty of fish and met many girls including my current gf. Most any girl on there will talk to you of you can make her laugh. Where it goes from there is up to you.
 
Katrider29 said:
^ nightmammoth- I just started to try and do things I enjoyed and worry less about girls. About ten years ago I decided to try surfing and fell in love with it. Its amazing how opportunities with girls present themselves if you get out there and just try to have fun. I worked on getting in a little better shape. I had a hard break up about five years ago and decided to buy a sportbike. That opened me up to a whole community of friends with like interests all having fun together. I was having fun and loved myself and that shows, even when you are just at work where most people meet their significant others. And I guess I just let myself go with the flo; most of the girls I've been with in my life were met randomly, not while I was actively seeking a girl in general or any one in particular, excluding online dating. When I started to be out of the loop, I went on pleanty of fish and met many girls including my current gf. Most any girl on there will talk to you of you can make her laugh. Where it goes from there is up to you.
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In theory sounds quite easy since i dont really chase after girls i just go with the flow but i never get the girl. But thanks for advice im gonna take it into consideration
 
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