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I am a bit confused

N

nightmammoth

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2016
Messages
17
I am having a difficult time understanding what this girl really wants from me. There is this girl at my work place that she's been teasing and poking me since she came into our office. I wasnt much into her because i thought that since she's older than me but im a nice and funny guy( or so i think). This thing goes back to last year when i took 1 month vacation to go to study right before i left she asked me for my number. She started texting me and initiate conversations with me.
Getting to know her really got me into liking her more and more, we would text like till late at night. There is this thing that made me go nuts is that when i text her and she wouldn't reply like in time she would always excuse and tell me why she didnt text me back like i was cooking or i was .... and so on. She told me that she even likes me a lot of times but...she told me that " the age difference is quite big (6 years)"
Because of that she would tell me that we should stop talking because it isnt healthy for both of us. All of this discusion about stopping to talk to each other started when i asked her in a friendly way to go out since we didnt go out. Since december she hasnt really talked to me, started kinda ignoring me at work and she would reply with to my texts.
I don't really wanna give up on her....... But if someone more familiar with this kind of stuff says i should i will take it into consideration.
Also i took into considerstion me liking her more because she gives intrest in me or that she's been playing with me but i just dont know...
I am not familiar with posting on this kind of sites about this kind of problems if there is something in particular that needs to be added to this please ask
 
She said its a big age gap im 20 shes 26 maybe im not mature enough for her but she stated that im very mature even for my age
 
She is obviously into you and the attraction is mutual. Fuck numbers, just go for it and see what happens. Go with your gut and don't worry about something that superficial.
 
Ligaturd said:
She is obviously into you and the attraction is mutual. Fuck numbers, just go for it and see what happens. Go with your gut and don't worry about something that superficial.
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So what you are saying is that i should go at her and tell her hey fuck the age difference i like you you like me? Lets be together? Since i asked her out last time she said we should stop speaking to each other also one thing she's quite often staring at me and moves her look away when i look at her back.
If i tell her that wont i loose any chance with her or something like that?
 
I'm in a somewhat similar situation - with a 24 year old girl (I'm 26) the texting thing, and being told she's into me, but finds excuses for lack of replies or making it complicated to hang out. (She's from Colombia, so I don't know if it's a cultural difference or what). I spoke with a buddy and he said, "sounds like she's seeing someone else." So I stopped talking to her for a month, and she pushed me to hang out with her and started hitting me up a lot. When we hung out, I told her what my friend said and she replied with, "Well, you could have talked to me, not him." So, there are two ways to go about it. Stop talking to her and see if she chases you, or just sit down and ask, "Where do you think this can go? I have feelings for you" I'd opt for not talking to her and see the results, but also being honest about your emotions can never hurt you!
 
Invite her out for drinks. Oh wait, when will you be 21? Maybe she's waiting for you to become legal.. 20 is kind of young.
 
Six years is not a big age difference.

She is playing games with you, by the sounds.

You need to play back with her, if you want to get intimate.

Why not tell her about your feelings the time you first saw her, that you were immediately attracted to her...that you think she is amazing and she made you feel like you wanted to take her out and spoil her to a good night
 
pokepoke420 said:
I'm in a somewhat similar situation - with a 24 year old girl (I'm 26) the texting thing, and being told she's into me, but finds excuses for lack of replies or making it complicated to hang out. (She's from Colombia, so I don't know if it's a cultural difference or what). I spoke with a buddy and he said, "sounds like she's seeing someone else." So I stopped talking to her for a month, and she pushed me to hang out with her and started hitting me up a lot. When we hung out, I told her what my friend said and she replied with, "Well, you could have talked to me, not him." So, there are two ways to go about it. Stop talking to her and see if she chases you, or just sit down and ask, "Where do you think this can go? I have feelings for you" I'd opt for not talking to her and see the results, but also being honest about your emotions can never hurt you!
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She told me like 2 times before that we should stop talking to each other each time i listened to her in about a day or two of me not texting her or not starting the conversation with her, she would come with stuff like " you know.... I think in any kind of relationship family friends starting a conversation should be mutual" and here is legal to drink after 18, i would go straight at her and tell her my feelings but what if she doesn't feel the same i dont know.... I dont really wanna loose her permanently plus if she rejects me wouldn't it be kinda awkward since we work at the same place idk
 
Vagina Lover said:
Six years is not a big age difference.

She is playing games with you, by the sounds.

You need to play back with her, if you want to get intimate.

Why not tell her about your feelings the time you first saw her, that you were immediately attracted to her...that you think she is amazing and she made you feel like you wanted to take her out and spoil her to a good night
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How can i play her back any suggestions i aint really a player but i think i can manage this aspect
 
Maybe you didn't get what I was saying in the last paragraph. Also, I don't know what you mean by "player", but that term seems to have some kind of man-whore connotation in USA, which is not what I am suggesting.

Demonstrate that you are head over heels for her. That there is no one else you would rather be with.

If she says to you that maybe it's not good to be together, but she seems genuinely interested, then you say maybe it's not a good idea to be together, but you would like to try because you think she is amazing. There is no one else that you would rather spend your Friday night with. Because you can see her in your dreams...you can see that it could work. Of that is a risk you would take, then she may take it as well.

Six years is nothing, by the way.
 
Vagina Lover said:
Maybe you didn't get what I was saying in the last paragraph. Also, I don't know what you mean by "player", but that term seems to have some kind of man-whore connotation in USA, which is not what I am suggesting.

Demonstrate that you are head over heels for her. That there is no one else you would rather be with.

If she says to you that maybe it's not good to be together, but she seems genuinely interested, then you say maybe it's not a good idea to be together, but you would like to try because you think she is amazing. There is no one else that you would rather spend your Friday night with. Because you can see her in your dreams...you can see that it could work. Of that is a risk you would take, then she may take it as well.

Six years is nothing, by the way.
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if this doesn't work nothing will.

i say do this . lay all cards out
 
Vagina Lover said:
Maybe you didn't get what I was saying in the last paragraph. Also, I don't know what you mean by "player", but that term seems to have some kind of man-whore connotation in USA, which is not what I am suggesting.

Demonstrate that you are head over heels for her. That there is no one else you would rather be with.

If she says to you that maybe it's not good to be together, but she seems genuinely interested, then you say maybe it's not a good idea to be together, but you would like to try because you think she is amazing. There is no one else that you would rather spend your Friday night with. Because you can see her in your dreams...you can see that it could work. Of that is a risk you would take, then she may take it as well.

Six years is nothing, by the way.
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I think i might've explained the part about the player thingie a bit wrong, what i was really referring to was like what if she's playing with me like for example to get me talk to her by ignoring me like she actually wants to talk to me but idk or she's playing with me because she can and so i can figure out if she's playing with me so i know to play along her or ignore her....
Uhm i got what u wanted to say but no matter how hard i squeeze my brain for arguments i cant make her get over the age gap difference plus how can i really demonstrate her my feelings if she wouldn't even go out with me >.< any suggestions about how can i make her understand that the gap isnt that big?
 
It seems to me that you are attempting to make a simple situation complicated.

The "what ifs" are what makes dating so interesting and fun!

In my experience, the older person is, more than likely, wanting to think that age is not an issue in this type of situation.

So it really shouldn't take much convincing.
 
Vagina Lover said:
It seems to me that you are attempting to make a simple situation complicated.

The "what ifs" are what makes dating so interesting and fun!

In my experience, the older person is, more than likely, wanting to think that age is not an issue in this type of situation.

So it really shouldn't take much convincing.
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With all of this encouragement i get from here it makes ne feel like this actually might work i just need to wrap my head around how to tell her what i feel and all should be perfect or so i hope.
 
Vagina Lover said:
What encouragement?

What exactly do you need to wrap your head around?
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Well what i wanted to say is that i was only thinking at the bad side of things.
To somewhat tell her what i feel for her since atm i cant really get her to go out with me and have a moment of privacy face to face
 
Maybe she wants you to man up and not act like a 20 year old lol. She is playing games with you, I think she likes to watch you squirm. Ask her out for a drink. If she says no then, whatever at least you tried.

But you said you couldn't get her to go out with you at all? Maybe that is the case but you wont know for sure until you try. Or are you being non-committal and overthinking the interactions with her? I dunno, follow your heart or follow your mind.
 
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