I can't believe I went and abused MDMA.
I always said to myself I would respect the drug by only ever using 1 or 1.5 strong, clean Dutch pills (200mg tested) in a night, and only once every 1 or 2 months. However at a party on Friday I had unlimited (free) access to the pills through a friend, and managed to possibly take 3-4 of the same strong pills (600-800mg) in about 8 hours. This was completely out of character, but the moreish nature of the drug got the better of my vulnerable state. I rolled hard, and by the end of the evening I was hallucinating, although a lot of weed was smoked at this point also.
I only realized how much MDMA i took 3 days after the event. Up to this point the comedown was nothing worse than usual (mild depression, lack of appetite etc.). Also I've been having very vivid dreams. However since realizing how badly I abused MDMA, I've been an anxious wreck. I don't really feel normal and am struggling to concentrate. I also have had a constant mild but worrying headache. I cant tell whether these effects are due to MDMA toxicity or just anxiety about the possible damage. My friends did 2-3 of the pills on the night and seem to be fine now.
Am I now permanently damaged?
Is there anything I can do now?
Will I ever be happy again?
I just feel helpless as my neurons are burning away
Any support or help would be appreciated
I always said to myself I would respect the drug by only ever using 1 or 1.5 strong, clean Dutch pills (200mg tested) in a night, and only once every 1 or 2 months. However at a party on Friday I had unlimited (free) access to the pills through a friend, and managed to possibly take 3-4 of the same strong pills (600-800mg) in about 8 hours. This was completely out of character, but the moreish nature of the drug got the better of my vulnerable state. I rolled hard, and by the end of the evening I was hallucinating, although a lot of weed was smoked at this point also.
I only realized how much MDMA i took 3 days after the event. Up to this point the comedown was nothing worse than usual (mild depression, lack of appetite etc.). Also I've been having very vivid dreams. However since realizing how badly I abused MDMA, I've been an anxious wreck. I don't really feel normal and am struggling to concentrate. I also have had a constant mild but worrying headache. I cant tell whether these effects are due to MDMA toxicity or just anxiety about the possible damage. My friends did 2-3 of the pills on the night and seem to be fine now.
Am I now permanently damaged?
Is there anything I can do now?
Will I ever be happy again?
I just feel helpless as my neurons are burning away
Any support or help would be appreciated