I abused MDMA

[xela]

I can't believe I went and abused MDMA.

I always said to myself I would respect the drug by only ever using 1 or 1.5 strong, clean Dutch pills (200mg tested) in a night, and only once every 1 or 2 months. However at a party on Friday I had unlimited (free) access to the pills through a friend, and managed to possibly take 3-4 of the same strong pills (600-800mg) in about 8 hours. This was completely out of character, but the moreish nature of the drug got the better of my vulnerable state. I rolled hard, and by the end of the evening I was hallucinating, although a lot of weed was smoked at this point also.

I only realized how much MDMA i took 3 days after the event. Up to this point the comedown was nothing worse than usual (mild depression, lack of appetite etc.). Also I've been having very vivid dreams. However since realizing how badly I abused MDMA, I've been an anxious wreck. I don't really feel normal and am struggling to concentrate. I also have had a constant mild but worrying headache. I cant tell whether these effects are due to MDMA toxicity or just anxiety about the possible damage. My friends did 2-3 of the pills on the night and seem to be fine now.

Am I now permanently damaged?
Is there anything I can do now?
Will I ever be happy again?

I just feel helpless as my neurons are burning away

Any support or help would be appreciated

 

[MrSpeedyG]

Welcome to bluelight, xela ! I've got some good news for you:

Am I now permanently damaged?

Nope! You are simply suffering typical symptoms of MDMA sides from using too much/abuse and it is temporary. They will go away with time as your serotonin network reorganises itself after the MDMA use.

Is there anything I can do now?

Yep, try get your mind off of it and understand that you will be happy again, I promise you. Stay away from MDMA completely aswell as any other drugs as they may make it worse. Another thing I highly reccomend is exercising/getting into exercising if you havent already as it will speed up the recovery and has too many benefeits to say no to. It will also give you a mood boost and keep your mind occupied. Try it before you bag it, trust me. A healthy diet and plenty of rest will also help. Spend time with friends, family or loved ones, they really help! Have a look through the ecstasy discussion forum and you will find many success stories of recovering from MDMA abuse, its quite common.

Will I ever be happy again?

I just feel helpless as my neurons are burning away

Damn right you will, expect to be happy soon enough I promise you will get better!

 

[JWills20]

Looks like another case of 'BL syndrome' to me. I'd say that your constant worrying about 'permanent damage' is causing more anxiety than the abuse itself. You took a lot of MDMA, but you will recover. Nothing is ever permanent. In the mean time, try to eat healthy, exercise and socialise as much as possible. Hopefully that will help you to keep your mind off things while you recover.

 

[shylock]

Hey man,

You will be totally cool, I promise! Many people I know have used as much as you, on a longer stint, and survived and came out great. Any drug you do has a come down/glowing phase. the more you do the longer it will take to recover. remember you flushed out a TON of Serotonin and it will take a bit for your brain to reproduce the normal levels at which you were at before hand. Drink lots of fluids, eat good clean meals (Fruits, veggies, whole grains) and maybe sit in the sauna ( hot or dry)/Exercise to help burn out/off the toxins that still may be lingering in your body. But remember, the first sign of dry mouth, which may lead to a headache, is the first symptoms of DEHYDRATION! So again, I can not stress enough to drink plenty of water, maybe even Gatorade. Better than powered, because it has no high fructose corn syrup as the sweetner like coca cola powerade products. I think Gatorade uses a dextrose/sucralose mixture. Don't Laugh, but PEDIALYTE WORKS wonders in the rehydrating department along with coconut water-known to be the most hydrating substance on the face of this planet. HAPPY HIGH HUNTING!

-ShyLock

 

[shylock]

I can't believe I went and abused MDMA.

I always said to myself I would respect the drug by only ever using 1 or 1.5 strong, clean Dutch pills (200mg tested) in a night, and only once every 1 or 2 months. However at a party on Friday I had unlimited (free) access to the pills through a friend, and managed to possibly take 3-4 of the same strong pills (600-800mg) in about 8 hours. This was completely out of character, but the moreish nature of the drug got the better of my vulnerable state. I rolled hard, and by the end of the evening I was hallucinating, although a lot of weed was smoked at this point also.

I only realized how much MDMA i took 3 days after the event. Up to this point the comedown was nothing worse than usual (mild depression, lack of appetite etc.). Also I've been having very vivid dreams. However since realizing how badly I abused MDMA, I've been an anxious wreck. I don't really feel normal and am struggling to concentrate. I also have had a constant mild but worrying headache. I cant tell whether these effects are due to MDMA toxicity or just anxiety about the possible damage. My friends did 2-3 of the pills on the night and seem to be fine now.

Am I now permanently damaged?
Is there anything I can do now?
Will I ever be happy again?

I just feel helpless as my neurons are burning away

Any support or help would be appreciated

Maybe research the answers to your questions before indulging in any kind of mind altering substance. know what you are doing before you do something you may regret. My GF in high school, she was 13 and I was 14, asked me if she could do klonopin, I said to her, "how do you spell it"? Needless to say she did not have a clue and it was one less day she was innocent before becoming a pill snorting dick in every hole 24/7, 365 dayz, hoe. LOL YOU SHOULD not do drugs especially if you can not even spell it!

 

[RoyMunson]

The only thing I can say is that I've never read about anyone with permanent damage. Keep your chin up and power through it, play some sport, helped me a lot whne I broke myself 6 months ago (fine now).

 

[MagickalKat777]

Looks like another case of 'BL syndrome' to me. I'd say that your constant worrying about 'permanent damage' is causing more anxiety than the abuse itself. You took a lot of MDMA, but you will recover. Nothing is ever permanent. In the mean time, try to eat healthy, exercise and socialise as much as possible. Hopefully that will help you to keep your mind off things while you recover.

I'm of the same belief to be honest. I never worried about the crash until I started reading all of the horror stories about comedowns on here, especially when people started messaging me urging me to slow down or I was going to fry my brain.

I've got experience with a ton of drugs and I don't have the greatest track record of not abusing the hell out them and I can honestly say that I suffered some pretty debilitating short-term effects immediately after binging with MDMA, methylone, and mephedrone, you recover pretty quickly as long as you let your mind and body heal. The more you worry about it, the worse it is.

 

[Nambo]

The only thing I can say is that I've never read about anyone with permanent damage. Keep your chin up and power through it, play some sport, helped me a lot whne I broke myself 6 months ago (fine now).

Did you ever have deteriorating eyesight problems 3 or 4 days after abusing which persisted for months?

 

[Desohigh]

It's psychological. You know that you abused mdma, and your brain reacts to it like that, scared.
It's a high amount of mdma, but how was your regular use? Did you give at least 1 month break till your "abuse"?

I sometimes feel the same, want to roll more but after 1 dose of mdma, I go directly to smoking weed. It really helps
Try going gym, have a good workout. After a hard body workout, I feel like my serotonin is going mad. I feel like im rolling :D I dance while I drive.. (crazy)