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How to tell your gf you use drugs

ScroogeMcDuck57

ScroogeMcDuck57

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Nov 17, 2010
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I used to date girls that partied. In my advanced age (I am almost a tri-genarian) I date girls that have little to know experience with drugs more exotic than marijuana. At a certain point into the relationship, I usually bring up my wild and crazy youth, gage their reaction, and proceed from there. Usually, I can share my drug experimenting in a romantic and trust building way that strengthens our relationship overall without it becoming a focus beyond the experience.

How do you approach telling your partner about your drug use? Do you tell them at all? When is the best time to bring it up? What outcomes can you expect?
 
Before I enter e relationship I tell them straight up about my addiction. They can take it or leave it from there. This makes it so I never have to sneak around and all the other shit that comes from it. It's my life style I'm not stopping it for them so I let em know very very early and then the ball is in their court. I don't have much advice for you except in the future don't wait. U know you have that early discussion about if each of you smoke or drink and then dig a lil deeper.

And im not saying u immediatly tell them you were sucking cock for Coke. But if your in active addiction or recovery let me know. Ull know right away if u will be compatible or not. The outcome of that convo will vary depending on each individuale so there is no clear cut answer there.

I undersntand and not everyone is like me to the point of putting the cards out on e table right away but I want someone to like me for all of me not certain parts of me I decide to tell them.
 
Mhmm, ^ I'm honest about it going into the relationship. I don't need to waste time with people are don't accept me and my lifestyle. But then again, I've only dated other drug users.
 
^Agree with this and NYgiant, I hate the deceit and lies that come with hiding my use so honesty is the best policy. Now if you are trying to get clean it's really important that the truth be told because your recovery should be your first love - everything else is secondary imo. Frankly I'd prefer to have no addictions coming into a relationship cos starting a new relationship often causes relapse from my observations - it can really help recovery for the determined addict but there are obvious stresses that come with new relationships so it's understandable that some addicts relapse during that time.
 
be honest or it will fuck up a wasted investment later down the line

the cool people are sometimes open to suggestion. the idiots stay stuck in 15 year old attitudes forever. progress and be progressive.

i dont mind a drug user but only one with self control where it is not eating up their life at the expense of the rest of it.

everyone is different
 
Just be honest with them right from the start. Even though I no longer use drugs in the past I did have a relationship with people who did use drugs socially at times even if it was just smoking tobacco and drinking, or they would sometimes drink, smoke or eat herb, and take MDMA even though I personally do not use any drugs now.

I was in a relationship with someone that completely lied about how they are an alcoholic and possibly an opiate addict, and they should have just been honest from the start instead.
 
I'm very open about it right from the beginning, if it's a deal breaker I wanna know as soon as possible.
 
I won't lie about it, but I won't bring it up for awhile.
There's a point in courtship where you want to reveal stuff about you that's secret to most people and really interesting so that you can build trust and strengthen your connection with your girl.

I usually talk about how LSD changed my life for the better and give specific details about how I can talk to people better and think more creatively. It's really important to not come across as some kind of head case or hippy zealot IMO if you're talking to a square girl.

Depending on how she reacts to that I'll delve further into the topic. Or if it's something she doesn't understand or isn't interested in I won't bring it up in chemical specifics. I'll just talk about the thoughts I've had without mentioning their drug related.
 
I don't think that's dishonest or alienating. Idk how that'd work for other drugs but for RCs psychedelics and empathogens it's been going well.
 
i wouldn't call it dishonest but from experience you need to see if they have the capacity for an open mind or are rigid and thick very early on.

dont wait till 4 month in...
 
Certainly not, but maybe save it for sometime between telling her your parents got divorced and you were acquitted on murder charges.
 
If you're casually seeing someone and it slowly becomes serious, I can see how that part can get left out. But it is important to bring it up. Back it up with some good info. When my partner approached me with the subject, he gave me some good information. That drugs weren't just this bad scary thing. That they were unique and that they could even be safe. I learned about it, did some research on my own, etc.
 
llama112 said:
If you're casually seeing someone and it slowly becomes serious, I can see how that part can get left out. But it is important to bring it up. Back it up with some good info. When my partner approached me with the subject, he gave me some good information. That drugs weren't just this bad scary thing. That they were unique and that they could even be safe. I learned about it, did some research on my own, etc.
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I completely agree. I think the idea of "take it or leave it" right off the bat can be alienating even to girls that might be receptive.
 
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