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How To Tell If Someone Wants A Threesome?

llama112

llama112

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 26, 2010
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I've been with my partner for a while now and we are both interested in a threesome at some point. My partner is bi but prefers females. I'm fairly straight but open-minded. So this guy is bi. He knows my partner but I just connected with him online, I forget why, but then we started talking online and it ended up getting a bit into that territory (he seemed to be leading into it) but then he said something about not telling me until he actually meets me. But we were talking about experimenting, etc. He was asking me if my partner was into guys too cuz he gives off a "gay vibe" (the guy dresses nicely and does his hair and people think he's gay? It's kinda funny but whatever).
So I tell my partner and he says yeah it could be but hard to tell and just roll with it and see what happens. But I just want to know! But I'm too scared to outright say it.
Then the "after effects". Is it weird after? Because we go to similar parties. Would it be awkward? Would any of us try to make it happen again?
I'm inexperienced in this department! And too scared to just ask!
 
Do you love this woman? If so, don't do it. It's relationship suicide. I just posted in another thread not long ago about the same thing. The ONLY way this works is if you are not emotionally involved in each other, or if you are both already established swingers. Otherwise, it will change everything, even if both partners enjoyed the experience. It will change your dynamic permanently. Sure, it may work out miraculously for some couples, but 99% of normal, monogamous couples won't ever be the same after inviting another person into the bedroom.
 
Oh maybe I should clarify. I am the fairly straight female. My partner is male, bi, prefers females. This other guy is bi, unsure what he prefers.
Yeah I love my partner, we're actually married, we are fairly open-minded regarding sex (go to sex clubs, etc.)
But we are not established swingers or poly or anything. That being said, my partner is open to a poly relationship. I am not. lol. If someone else is around, I want us both to be there, if that makes sense.
I don't want to mess up the relationship but my partner though. But I have always wanted to try a threesome and my partner is into it too.
 
Don't listen to Seatle stranger, these things can work fine if everybody is mature about it and knows it's simply a kinky thing to give a try. You don't have to be swingers or single, just comfortable and confident in your partners love.
 
llama112 said:
Oh maybe I should clarify. I am the fairly straight female. My partner is male, bi, prefers females. This other guy is bi, unsure what he prefers.
Yeah I love my partner, we're actually married, we are fairly open-minded regarding sex (go to sex clubs, etc.)
But we are not established swingers or poly or anything. That being said, my partner is open to a poly relationship. I am not. lol. If someone else is around, I want us both to be there, if that makes sense.
I don't want to mess up the relationship but my partner though. But I have always wanted to try a threesome and my partner is into it too.
Click to expand...

A threesome ruined a relationship I had. I would not advise anyone to do such if they truly love the other person. If I had one wish I wish I could go back and not even suggest it. Literally.
 
Set the guidelines before you start out in this venture. No seeing the other partner separately. Make sure everybody has a good time during the threesome.
Check your inhibitions at the door when you start.
Talk the whole situation through before with your partner and talk it through afterwards as well.
The best threesomes are when everybody is bi.
You can make a daisy chain triangle, you can take turns at being the meat in the sandwich.
Suggest you get a little high on something first, not necessarily alcohol.
 
Whether or not I got the right vibe from it, the conversation ended up leading towards that and he is into it.
The two guys are bi. The one female (me) mostly straight.
Substances will likely be involved.
IDK how to set guidelines? I am literally least experienced out of everyone.
 
communication is really important. if you don't feel comfortable bringing up the idea of a threesomes, it probably isn't a good idea. in the moment, you want to be able say "i don't like that" or "let's try this". and after the fact, you and your partner will need to talk about how things went.

as for ground rules... are there any specific things you don't want to happen? are there specific things you want to happen? what if one of you starts to feel uncomfortable?
 
Ugh... this guy is out cuz he doesn't want to ruin our relationship (probably another reason but that's what he said).
We've been thinking about this for years although never actively tried to seek someone out. I don't know how to find someone! How do you find someone who is somewhat attracted to both of you, open-minded, and you both like him? I have no clue. That seems rare.
I'm comfortable with my partner obviously but sometimes not sure how to talk to others lol.
 
have you tried making an online dating profile stating what you want? in the past, i have had luck with ok cupid but that was a few years ago. now, most of my friends are in open relationships and fairly open when it comes to discussing sex, so things like group sex come up fairly frequently.
 
llama112 said:
Whether or not I got the right vibe from it, the conversation ended up leading towards that and he is into it.
The two guys are bi. The one female (me) mostly straight.
Substances will likely be involved.
IDK how to set guidelines? I am literally least experienced out of everyone.
Click to expand...

Well make a list of the things you want to do and the things you don't want to do.
For example if you don't want DP or anal you should say so at the outset.
What you must also make clear is that there should be no ass to vagina transfers without first thorough washing.
Choose your substances with care. Otherwise you might end up hot and horny and with only two limp dicks there to help you out ;)
Or take your vibrator to the party with you. Maybe not a bad idea, particularly if the two boys get deeply involved with each other.
Plan a little in advance, work out the first moves in your head perhaps.
To get things rolling perhaps you should suck your guest's dick while inviting your partner to go down on you, and asking your guest to suck your partner.
If one them comes, then you can fuck the other one for a bit.
I don't really see this getting out of control and you could have a lot of fun.
Maybe put a lot of lube out ready.
 
The best threesome is when all 3 don't know each other.imo..i had one with my gf and a guy for her since I had mine already with 2 random girls in my partying days and she had never had a threesome in her life..we broke up a month later..but it could be different for u
 
I thought it had to be 2 girls and 1 guy. When it's two dudes and a girl, is it still a proper threesome? Or is it just two dudes and a girl? It sounds like that situation will end up with your husband watching another dude have sex with you. It sounds humiliating for him.
 
I thought llama made it clear that her partner was bi and the potential partner is too, so it might be her ends up watching them. And how is this not a threesome?
 
She did say he bi, but she also said he preferred females. So I wonder how bi he really is. Could be no more than "bi curious" and not be into the cockaroo.
 
^i am a bi girl, who prefers guys, but i still enjoy threesomes with another female. i've also had a threesome with a (mostly) straight guy and bi guy. and a threesome with a bi guy and a (mostly) gay guy. the personalities of people and their expectations are going to matter a lot more than sexual orientation.
 
This has disaster written all over it. You are MARRIED to this man, and said yourself that you are NOT into a polyamorous relationship--i.e you want to "be there" if he has sex with someone else. That says to me, that you would feel hurt if he shared the special experience that is sex with another person without you. Well, the truth is while there may be 3 people in a room, only two of them are together at any one moment in time. You said you are looking for another guy. Well when that guy is penetrating you, you will be forging a unique and special bond with that person whether you are trying to or not. Your husband will not be sharing that moment with you. He will be watching. Sure he might be doing something with his hands or his mouth at the same time. Whatever. Call it what you want, it's going to be you getting fucked by another guy and your husband watching, you'll both have a horribly deep feeling that its wrong as its happening and the aftermath of guilt, along with new emotions entangled onto a new person, and you have a recipe for relationship suicide. Look, I know some mature couples manage just fine. But to be quite honest you all sound young and very inexperienced. Think this through. This guy backed out for a reason, he probably sensed your guys' inexperience and knew it would cause major issues. Nobody wants to be the person to split up a marriage.
 
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