this is my first ever thread. i was a normal and curious teen. I wasn't afraid of any dangerous situations and i used to enjoy every type of high that were to me available without any trouble. I used to smoke weed and drink alcohol regularly, do xtc atleast twice in two months,used to love psychedelics(shrooms,lsd mainly). A year ago me and few of my friends threw a rave party at distant place from the city i live in.we had it booked for a couple of days. one of my friends didnt wanted to come but since we were close so i insisted on him to come so he came along we previously partied alot there so we knew the place quite well as we arrived there we popped and started rolling everything went smooth we danced all night it was amazing although my friends were being a little dick to me during the rave since we had a disagreement over a small issue about money but that didn't bother me at all since i was enjoying like anything and didnt gave a shit at that time. we have been taking xtc for along time so we knew the pill we ate was something else but not mdma since it had no euproia but made us move and we were still moving after 14 hours with a single pill It was my 3rd consecutive night without sleep but i had no problems. as we were done for the first day so we gathered around and started smoking weed and discussed about how amazing the previous night was and stayed up for the whole next day waiting for the sun to set so we can roll again. As it got dark one of my older friend who was close to me who has been doing everykind of drug since 13 14 years suddenly lost his mind and since we were close i didnt want other friends to know about his situation i took him outside to asked him what has happened to him he told me that he was hallucinating and there were people after him and other fucked up stuff like that basically he was being delusional and paranoid after listening to him i got worried about him and panicked as this was my first time experiencing this type of a situation so when my other friends came and started asking me about what was happening i lost my mind too and started fighting with them i was so angry that i wanted to crack one of my friends skull open but i controlled it somehow and took my delusional friend back to the city leaving the other friends behind. the next day my friends sister called me and told me that her brother was not fine since i know the guy and we have have along history of doing drugs together i thought he might be messing with me but when i talked to my friend he started blaming me for whatever has happened to him that night and threatened me and carried on so doing for a month so i totally finished any type of contact with him and also apologized to my other friends for leaving them. after all this i felt really paranoid and had severe anxiety and couldn't trust anyone and whatever slightest of wrong i had done in the past was coming back haunting me i lost all the confidence i had in myself. for the next 6 months i didnt leave my home and all i did was stay in my room because of paranoia and fear i even my failed my final highschool exams. but as after getting some confidence back without any medication or help i joined a gym, ate healthy didnt do any kind of drugs for six month since weed was making me extremely paranoid and i was afraid to try anything else and recovered nicely(at least that was what i thought).it has been a year since that happened but as soon i i think of doing any kind of drugs it all comes back comes back and i get paranoid and i lock myself in my room in my mind im scared of everything and i cannot trust other people and it puts me back in the same state of mind in which i was after that horrific night. I just want my old self back so i can enjoy my life as i used to so i would appreciate any kind of advice since i dont know what the hell has happened to me and i dont know how handle it anymore as its making me question my existence
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how to reset the mind
- Thread starter trapped88
- Start date
starting_over
Bluelighter
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- May 7, 2016
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You gotta format this into readable paragraphs, I assumed you were on a stimulant while writing this... until I got to the end.
Maybe this is a sign that you should just move on from drugs. There's so much more out there in the world. First off go finish your high school education.
Maybe this is a sign that you should just move on from drugs. There's so much more out there in the world. First off go finish your high school education.
Hmm, I had a similar experience.. I didn't flip out on my friends just got paranoid and weird a couple of time on drugs and it's never been the same since.. I dont see many of them anymore and they bitch about me a lot, im the laughing stock.
I have anxiety and drugs make it worse. I used to enjoy them like you did too. I'd say forget about drugs now and try to take your life in a more meaningful direction. You've most likely suffered depersonalisation and obviously anxiety. Keep working out and push yourself - you have inner strength, although it might not seem it at the moment, it is there.
I have anxiety and drugs make it worse. I used to enjoy them like you did too. I'd say forget about drugs now and try to take your life in a more meaningful direction. You've most likely suffered depersonalisation and obviously anxiety. Keep working out and push yourself - you have inner strength, although it might not seem it at the moment, it is there.
EnlightenedOne1
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- May 22, 2015
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How old are you? You must remember that things will get better over time. There have been countless eras of my life where I thought there was no return, just to look back at them today and laugh...If you want a mindset shift, start you tubing Tony Robbins .
I will turn 20 this year
It was a dark blue pill with light blue spots on it and a big F written on one side. Idk what was inside but i also sometimes think it was mdpv
Cdkman
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- Feb 9, 2016
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I knew it was mdpv in powder form when I ingested it but I literally couldn't stop myself the initial high was super strong so I kept going..I can def tell the diff between mdma and mdpv but other drugs like a mix of methylone and mephedone is similar to mdma,even a little better Imo..u will be okay with time..I've fucked myself up so many times but I always come back sometimes it takes months.
u either get better or forget why your all messed up in the first place and forget about it..I've quit all those party drugs and even with a slight opiate habit I feel way better than when I was partying all the time on everything
u either get better or forget why your all messed up in the first place and forget about it..I've quit all those party drugs and even with a slight opiate habit I feel way better than when I was partying all the time on everything
TripMcnealy
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- Mar 3, 2016
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I had a similar response from an extremely bad THC trip when I was 16. Had a lot of repressed issues and depression at the time and it all hit me after one giant hit. I had intense depersonalization and derealization along with panic attacks. Thought I lost my mind and was almost ready to end my life to get out of the trip. Worst night of my life.
Time went on and I felt weird, but it was like a bad dream. Then one night over a month later I had a flashback while asleep and the feelings severely plagued my life for months.
One day I broke down to my mother and if it wasnt for her I'm certain I would have lost it. She forced me to be proactive, go doctors, and get out of the house. It was a long fucking battle. And the horrible feeling dissipated over time, but even to this day I can experience flashbacks, but I now have the tools and experience to fight it off. Definitely stay off of pot and psychadelics.
The only drug I could see being beneficial is a benzodiazapine, in a strictly therapeutic way. I recommend conviding in a family member (don't know your family situation) and seek some counseling. Like me, you may feel this way for some time, but it will go away if you distract yourself and seek help, I promise you that.
Hope you feel better.
Time went on and I felt weird, but it was like a bad dream. Then one night over a month later I had a flashback while asleep and the feelings severely plagued my life for months.
One day I broke down to my mother and if it wasnt for her I'm certain I would have lost it. She forced me to be proactive, go doctors, and get out of the house. It was a long fucking battle. And the horrible feeling dissipated over time, but even to this day I can experience flashbacks, but I now have the tools and experience to fight it off. Definitely stay off of pot and psychadelics.
The only drug I could see being beneficial is a benzodiazapine, in a strictly therapeutic way. I recommend conviding in a family member (don't know your family situation) and seek some counseling. Like me, you may feel this way for some time, but it will go away if you distract yourself and seek help, I promise you that.
Hope you feel better.