How to quit without psychologists or meetings?

[UserNameX]

Anybody know how to quit without AA/NA/Other meetings?

I overdosed in my early 20’s, and a friend died that night. After that, I bought into AA, and was completely sober for 5 years, and then smoked pot and drank beers for another 5 years. A couple years ago, some really bad stuff happened, and I relapsed for about 4 months, and nearly killed myself. I’ve been off the hard stuff again now for over two years, but I’d like to get completely sober.

Occasionally I’ll force myself to stop for a few days to a few weeks, but I always go back to using something. I just prefer the way my mind operates when I’m completely sober.

One time a couple years ago, I smoked DMT, and caught a glimpse of the feeling I need in my heart to be sober; I just haven’t been able to find anything to give me that feeling long enough to quit for good again.

Last time I quit out of fear and remorse, but this time I want to quit for me. It’s just that I can’t handle AA/NA etc. anymore. I also won’t meet with counselors, etc. I have a bunch of bad memories of that shit from childhood.

 

[xxfreak187xx]

but this time I want to quit for me.

That in itself is where you should start, by going back over the steps....im not saying go 12 step literally, unless u wanna....but review some parts of them. Look into yourself and you will eventually have it more of a grasp on where things should go. But also try and find someone that you can talk to or someone that will help hold u accountable but without the judgy bullshit that come from most meeting sponsors. Fuck,we will all talk with u anytime u need, can't say we are all the most polite conversationalist but at least it's unbiased and honest. I have had my own trials and tribulations with the meeting world and the sober living environments and though I think that they do a lot of good I also think they help in chasing people away from being honest about themselves. It's not for everybody especially when it's the 400th time hearing about doing the next right thing.....shit im ranting....

 

[Jabberwocky]

seirously look at your motives for not wanting to use meetings or therapists. deep deep down.. cos to me it comes across as the sort of bullshit the part of my brain that adamantly doesn't want to lose its crutch would say so that i dno't give myself the best chance of quitting and therefore probably don't.

it is great you want to do it for you, that stands you in good stead.

i got clean by doing what people who knew about this sort of stuff told me, in rehab i had no choice. but after rehab, i found those people in meetings and through drugs services, it seems you are cutting off both those options, which is why i'm suspicious of your real reasons. i had written off therapy too, had some awful experiences. but i'd also not been honest with myself or the therapists previously, that contributed to its lack of efficacy.

if you know people in recovery then look to them. they know what to do, because they are in recovery. you don't, because you are not. there isn't a one size fits all approach so unless you know a lot of people in recovery, all or whom are prepared to mentor you, then meetings are your best bet for getting that type of insight i'm afraid. using is doing something for you, you need to find out what that is and how to replace it with something healthier. you also need to reframe what using is to you. as long as you view it as something enjoyable/relaxing/whatever rather than somehting that is ruining your life, you will be prone to relapse due to a phenomenon called ego fatigue.

it is possible to get clean without meetings and therapy. i'm not sure you can miss out the therapy and be clean and have anything like the quality of life you could have. either way, your making life exceptionally hard for yourself so if you are dead set on this route then the most i can really do is wish you good luck.

 

[Shady's Fox]

If you have good amigos, you don't need'em. They're a slot machine -- real friends don't do that.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'd be inclined to participate in meetings and counsellors with the attitude "take what works and leave the rest". Both have their issues but they are not so universally bad that they have absolutely nothing to offer. They'll prompt you to think about your use and examine yourself in ways you probably can't access just alone. And those insights are essential for getting sober or even just for getting a grip on your use and getting back control over your life.

 

[UserNameX]

seirously look at your motives for not wanting to use meetings or therapists. deep deep down.. cos to me it comes across as the sort of bullshit the part of my brain that adamantly doesn't want to lose its crutch would say so that i dno't give myself the best chance of quitting and therefore probably don't.

it is great you want to do it for you, that stands you in good stead.

i got clean by doing what people who knew about this sort of stuff told me, in rehab i had no choice. but after rehab, i found those people in meetings and through drugs services, it seems you are cutting off both those options, which is why i'm suspicious of your real reasons. i had written off therapy too, had some awful experiences. but i'd also not been honest with myself or the therapists previously, that contributed to its lack of efficacy.

if you know people in recovery then look to them. they know what to do, because they are in recovery. you don't, because you are not. there isn't a one size fits all approach so unless you know a lot of people in recovery, all or whom are prepared to mentor you, then meetings are your best bet for getting that type of insight i'm afraid. using is doing something for you, you need to find out what that is and how to replace it with something healthier. you also need to reframe what using is to you. as long as you view it as something enjoyable/relaxing/whatever rather than somehting that is ruining your life, you will be prone to relapse due to a phenomenon called ego fatigue.

it is possible to get clean without meetings and therapy. i'm not sure you can miss out the therapy and be clean and have anything like the quality of life you could have. either way, your making life exceptionally hard for yourself so if you are dead set on this route then the most i can really do is wish you good luck.

What I’ve learned from all of the years I spent in AA is that rather than relying on drugs, I have to rely on other people; something I’m continually practicing. I also do my best to get outside of myself and help other people. That has always been what makes me feel better. I’m just sick of the phony friends from AA. When I relapsed, I didn’t tell anybody, and nobody even called me to see how I was doing. It’s like we were only friends in the meetings, but outside of the rooms nobody GAF.

I get what you’re saying about not giving myself the best possible chance, but I already live a full life, and don’t have the time or patience to put up with all the judgy AA A-holes.

Aa far as therapy goes, I have some really deep hurt from being forced into therapy by my mother, told I could talk about anything in therapy, and then having her get mad at me and give me the silent treatment until the next therapy appointment. It’s really better for me not to go to therapy than to have all that resurface as a result of going.

 

[UserNameX]

If you have good amigos, you don't need'em. They're a slot machine -- real friends don't do that.

I completely agree. I have never kept many friends. I can count on one hand my true friends, and I know we’ll be friends until death.

Unfortunately none of them are from meetings, one is a normal, non-drug abusing friends who drinks occasionally, but in no way pressures me to do or not do anything. Another is my girlfriend. The third is one of the best friends anyone could ask for, but he also struggles with addiction. He has currently been clean from meth and heroin for about 6 months, but still drinks when he can get away with it.

Personally, I feel like alcohol is the most useless drug on the planet.

 

[UserNameX]

I'd be inclined to participate in meetings and counsellors with the attitude "take what works and leave the rest". Both have their issues but they are not so universally bad that they have absolutely nothing to offer. They'll prompt you to think about your use and examine yourself in ways you probably can't access just alone. And those insights are essential for getting sober or even just for getting a grip on your use and getting back control over your life.

Yeah dude, I get what you’re saying. That was how I did it for the 5+ years when I was in AA.

I’ve actually regained control over my life, my using doesn’t cause me problems, per-se. I just don’t want to feel like I need to use anything anymore. I’m sick of needing something to feel normal. Even the 5+ years in AA, sometimes I’d feel like I needed a meeting.

I’m not sure if this is still a drug problem, or possibly just the human condition.

After my first 5 years completely sober, when I started smoking pot and having beers occasionally, I became an exercise addict. If I didn’t get my endorphins going for a day, I’d feel like something was fucked up.

Anyway, I completely understand what a lot of you are saying about meetings. They do work, if you buy-in, and believe they’ll work. I’m just not in a place where I can buy into that again.

I guess I was just wondering if anybody had discovered the magic bullet. I suppose I’ll continue my occasional use of psychedelics while I’m in search of a one shot way to satisfy to my daily need to catch a buzz ...

 

[Jabberwocky]

haha addicts are always looking for the easy way out. its why we use chemical crutches in the first place. unfortunately there is no magic bullet, just hard work.

i wouldn't worry about needing something to feel normal. everyone does. coffee, sugar, tv, their pet. humans aren't these independent entities. we are an interconnected network of ourselves and everyone/thing around us. i used to not want to need anything and ended up starving myself so badly that the doctors couldn't understand why i wasn't in a coma when i got to hospital.

 

[mariopepper]

There’s more to it than just tossing your cigarettes out. Smoking is an addiction. The brain is hooked on nicotine. Without it, you’ll go through withdrawal. Line up support in advance. Ask your doctor about methods that will help, such as quit-smoking classes and apps, counseling, medication, and hypnosis or you also can buy chantix online if you're sure.