There is a normal intensity at which you need to do things for them to be sane to do, I mean I am absolutely not saying I need to be impulsive... I also aint saying I am feeling like a machine at all. Nor that I want to talk to god...
This is just taking what I say and pushing it to the limit.
I am the kind of person that thinks more than he acts, when I observe something I start by seeing how it works before seeing how it can be used or how beautifully made it is. I am not cut off my spirituality I am just having trouble seeing things without deconstructing them to see more precisely what they are, just enjoying without understanding. Which makes me having difficulty being simple. I have always been like that and I gradually was lowering the intensity of it, with psychedelics, then it stopped and I was wondering why and thought to myself is there a way of making things more''mindless'', not insane, mindless. What I know now is that the problem was both tolerance and being too much used to tripping which made trips become a thing of routine and not a special moment. Which is why I am waiting before my next one, waiting that my memory of my last one become fuzzier.
