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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

How to keep my opioid use under control

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VoodooMaximum

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Joined
Nov 6, 2014
Messages
9
Hey Bluelight,

So since about April of this year, I have been using opioids once a week (every Friday, or sometimes I skip Friday and do Saturday if I'm busy doing something Friday night. Typically I use U-47700, but I have substituted it with oxycodone, kratom/kratom extract, opium, codeine, etc...

Besides using MAX only once per week, I have a few rules:
  • Never IV, ever. Don't even read about IVing. )
  • Once the supply runs out, take a 2-4 week break to avoid a habit (I typically buy in bulk, so I'm only on my 2nd or 3rd break, which has lasted 6 weeks so far :D)
  • Never use on a day that I'm having emotional problems (e.g., fighting with my girlfriend...this has happened multiple times).

I've been able to maintain this schedule even through some very tough times over the past year, and I guess I'm just asking how I can keep this under control. I don't really get the sense that I'm losing control or anything, I just want to be proactive and have defenses set up, as I have read how addictions can "sneak up on you." I've done a lot of research on how to maintain controlled and non-addictive patterns of opioid use, including reading this paper, but I want to hear your advice.

TL; DR

Use opioids once per week or less, want advice on how to keep it at that level.
 
Hey VoodooMaximum. I see you are in a similar boat as myself; use oxy and use occasionally but not succumbed to the daily habit. There is definitely a psychological addiction involved here as the opioid has your ear and will continue to speak its sweet serenade. I don't get physical symptoms, but I sometimes catch myself thinking, "man it would be nice to catch that buzz again soon"

I think your ground rules are fitting. I too, will never IV and take breaks when my supply runs out, and not to use to drown out emotional stresses. I would add that I look at taking the oxycodone as a reward. That can be a huge accomplishment at work, a solid 5 day week at the gym, or something else of substance that shows you deliberately wanted to accomplish something before inebriation. I work from home about 75% of the time and do not partake in any drug use until the day is done. I think this mindset dominates due to an anxiety that my boss would contact me after taking a drug and would know... so better to not ingest until after hours or weekend. I've been raised this way as a kid; you must finish the work before you get free time.

Another thing that helps me... as I try to be as frugal as possible, is keep some type of ledger of expenses. This helps me realize the money spent. Oxycodone is not cheap! Just don't incriminate yourself, lol.

I've also found that when I take the oxycodone after a series of good workouts, the euphoria is greater. Perhaps it adds to the enkephalins (endogenous opioid peptides) present already. With the same idea, during times of abstinence, I use running as a means to pump up the enkephalins to mitigate any psychological cravings.

Just some thoughts... hope this helps!
 
You two are Saints as compared to myself but I've found a tangible item such as a calendar with either code or plain english markings of past, present and/or planned use can serve as a source of pride, shame or general assessment and changing trends to one's use. Recovery Support/ Sober Living Forum is loaded with gems as well.
 
Well this is a solid plan but keep in mind we all had that once upon a time too. This high functioning phase can last years even but just as you said, it can sneak up on you. If I were to suggest something it would be to use at random rather than as a reward or just on a weekend night or whatnot because you run the risk of conditioning yourself faster and expecting it on a subconscious level. Also find a healthy habit to gravitate towards first. Do some soul searching to determine what it is that makes you believe drugs are a reasonable outlet. I mean, anyone who has been high knows what the attraction is but everyone also knows the health issues they can cause too and some part of you is okay with taking that risk. Now is the best time to determine why. Also, depending on your ROA look up ways that minimize risks, and consider potentiating what you use so that you can use less of it and achieve the same/similar effect.
 
My advice would be to quit now. I am sure that's not want you want to hear, but it's your safest option. You may be able to use like that for awhile then next thing you know you are using daily. I have seen it and experienced way too often.
 
Yeah or alternatively, if you notice during the rest of the week when you're not using you have a lot of fantasies about looking forward to the oxy / opi day again maybe take a decently long break from it. Otherwise you might be looking at cravings that build up until a breaking point. Also if there are stressful factors in your life, it's quite possible that if something happens that adds even more to the stress your breaking point will shift making it much more difficult to resist the cravings you thought were fine.
If you are to resist frequent cravings, you will need a steady and reliable alternative source of satisfaction (from exercise, work, hobby, etc) - certain practices like martial arts are not only good for the condition but are known to make one mentally stronger. Having something that isn't unhealthy that gives a lot of satisfaction can help to keep the mental 'muscle' (self control / discipline) that says "no" well trained. If you have to say "no" to yourself a lot and don't train this 'muscle', it will get exhausted over time in a tug-of-war with the reinforcing addiction.

I've been there, managed to use oxy reasonably for a while... but eventually it escalated.

If you have one or a few factors that make you sensitive to it, the chances of becoming dependent eventually may be unreasonably high. Say hypothetically that it's like a coinflip, that seems like a pretty terrible deal to me compared to what you gain from it. How much is an admittedly good but temporary feeling worth in the long run? I get if you 'need something' but if I could change a decision I made in the past, I would probably see if there isn't an alternative drug that is perhaps a little less sweet but that has a more affordable price to pay if there are problems with self controlling the use or abuse.

I haven't been on opiates for a while now but had some kratom that I have now finished. I'm working on moderating my poly-use in general, drinking in the weekend and keeping clean during weekdays. Maybe tripping to fulfil a general need, though usually psychedelics make me wanna make my habits healthier so I expect them to help if anything, instead of the detrimental effect of getting high or numb a lot.

FWIW, pregabaline really lowered my cravings for drugs in general - probably because it's anxiolytic, but more generally it did the trick for me and keeping addiction at bay - at least for a while, I had a rough period last year.
 
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OP: It is pretty hard to keep opioid use recreational as you have been doing, for most people. Eventually it gets to the point where you just want more.. with opioids your tolerance fluctuates every time using them, even if you take breaks, and curiosity plays a big role in addiction too, eventually you want to start trying other ROAs when one doesn't work for you any more and then start doing them via more addicting, but stronger ROAs, then it becomes more addicting IME, I went from eating/sniffing 15-30mg of roxy once every week to sniffing/smoking/parachuting over 60-90mg of oxy a day in one month, mainly sniffing/smoking OCs and roxies, and that became extremely addicting! Before I knew it I was slamming oxy and dilaudid, every day, stupid high amounts, because they were so cheap back then like a quarter the price they are now, when the price rose I went to bupe mtnc. and maintained on buprenorphine aka subs for almost a year then became bored with it, got a better job, made lots of money, and relapsed, this time on heroin, started out sniffing/smoking it for a very short time with both east coast powder and tar, and loved it, but quickly got back into shooting it like I was doing with pharms before.. I got really badly addicted to H, even more than I was with oxy, dilaudid, etc. and was shooting over a G sometimes more everyday, blowing every bit of money I had on it, then got back on subs... now I am okay and have stuck with the subs with no slip ups for a good while now..

Just wanted to say just how sneaky opioid addiction can be! It is like playing with a bomb, its bound to go off at some point, and get out of control and turn your life upside down, with willpower or not, it can get anyone. Just be careful man, and never say never either, I said I would never IV and was even scared of needles, like I wouldn't even let the nurse take my blood at the doctor, I would freak out... and what do you know I became obsessed with them a matter of years later, shooting up opioids everyday, all day.. Seriously, if I were you I would just stop now while you still can... but if you must continue, make it a goal not to use them everyday, or you will get addicted both physically and mentally.
 
Man in the Dark said:
My advice would be to quit now. I am sure that's not want you want to hear, but it's your safest option. You may be able to use like that for awhile then next thing you know you are using daily. I have seen it and experienced way too often.
Click to expand...

I agree. Quit now while you're ahead. I did this and I have not used any opiates including Kratom which was not even popular in the Western world when I was into them, for over a decade.

Had I not quit I would have became addicted and started to use them daily, and all of my "rules" would have been broken or I would have made up excuses to not follow them and to use opiates.

There are tons of examples of people who thought that they could control and use opiates, and then they wound up addicted to them. Talk to any opiate addict, or read any number of posts on this site, or on sobriety/recovery sites.

Stay safe.
 
I've been using PST weekly and it hasn't been a problem, but I already was addicted before. Went through withdrawal at least 5 times and I've finally learned my lesson, I think. At least for me, weekly use wasn't possible until I got way too familiar with opiates, quit for months, and then started using infrequently. I only use PST though, not just because it's my favorite but also because it lasts so long that it keeps me satisfied. It's easy not to use too frequently because I don't have cravings and I also have the memories of waking up soaked in sweat and shivering etched into my mind. So basically it's not impossible, but it's probably unlikely and depends on a lot of different factors. The other thing is that I feel like it's a lot safer for me to use now since my tolerance always shoots back up to as high as when I was using daily. I guess that's less of an issue with certain opioids, but anything that's potent and/or you don't know the exact dosage is dangerous since you probably won't build up much of a tolerance with just weekly use unless you were previously addicted.
 
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Raysu said:
Well this is a solid plan but keep in mind we all had that once upon a time too. This high functioning phase can last years even but just as you said, it can sneak up on you. If I were to suggest something it would be to use at random rather than as a reward or just on a weekend night or whatnot because you run the risk of conditioning yourself faster and expecting it on a subconscious level. Also find a healthy habit to gravitate towards first. Do some soul searching to determine what it is that makes you believe drugs are a reasonable outlet. I mean, anyone who has been high knows what the attraction is but everyone also knows the health issues they can cause too and some part of you is okay with taking that risk. Now is the best time to determine why. Also, depending on your ROA look up ways that minimize risks, and consider potentiating what you use so that you can use less of it and achieve the same/similar effect.
Click to expand...

I feel like using at random is a worse idea than using in a schedule. I feel like "random" use has the opportunity to spiral out of control a lot worse than setting hard rules. In addition, I don't think potentiating the drugs is wise. I've read that the stronger the ROA, the more addictive the substance (swallowing vs. shooting Oxy, for example). What you get addicted to is the feeling, from what I understand, so the stronger the feeling, the stronger the pull toward the substance. That being said, I typically plug or sniff my U-4, which are medium-potency ROAs for that substance. Maybe I should swallow it more often. That's more of a gentle and subtle high.

Something else I do: on the nights I do use U-4, I keep a log of the time, ROA and dose. I also set a hard limit on how much I use per night. It usually varies from between 60-100 mg, but I have gone lower or higher.

Anyway, as most of you have suggested, I go to the gym and lift three times per week. I love the endorphin/enkephalin feeling. I also have a lot of hobbies, goals and responsibilities outside of getting high. And this specifically is in response to ricemaker: I was also raised with the "work then play" ethos! Thank god for my bitchy Midwestern mother, lmao. And sniffing a bunch of U-4 after a workout is one of the best feelings there is. I love coming home from the gym on a Friday afternoon after work/class, getting out my nasal sprayer, giving a few good squirts, and

As to the folks who said "the only way to guarantee safety is to stop now," I guess that's true, but I really don't buy the idea that using infrequently can certainly lead to addiction. I know for some folks it does, but I really don't have an addictive personality. I quit cigarettes cold turkey on my first try. I've just always been more comfortable confronting problems than escaping from them. I have the greatest respect for the power and pull of opioids. I'm not going to pretend that I'm immune to opioid addiction or that I'm somehow unique, but I don't think that I'm in a high-risk category. I don't know. Just my thoughts. :\

To all you who had strict rules and a high-functioning period, can I ask what made you slip up? And to those who are still using occasionally, can I ask you to elaborate on if you have cravings and how you manage them, the rules you have in place, your relationship with your opioid of choice, initial experiences, etc...? I'm trying to get as much subjective data as possible, I just finished a lot of research on this topic and I want to hear from the people who have lived it.
 
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Well, for me it was the routine that turned high functioning use into full blown addiction. It would start out "only on Friday and Saturday nights" to "nights where I didn't work early the next day" to "as soon as the work day is over" to "before I leave for work" to "at work". See the pattern? By random I meant to not connect use with any other event. That's not to say use haphazardly but rather say x doses per week but not as a reward or special occasion because for me that was the fastest track into "earning" more rewards and finding things to celebrate. Hope that clears tha up. Also the thing about ROAs is the he bioavailability changes as does the experience and the rush/high (how fast, how hard, how long, and sometimes even the feeling itself). ROA is a personal preference just as DOC is. For me it varies based on the drug and what my goal was. For example: 10mg oxy-if I wanted to party It would be insufflated, if I wanted pain control it would be chewed and potentiated. For meth if I wanted energy all day I'd take the smallest amount with a spoonful of coffee, if I wanted a boost at work I'd rail it, if I wanted to chill I'd smoke it till it was gone. These are examples of what I used to do and maybe it's just my way but variety, the targeted experience, and efficiency were my deal. Also, in regards to potentiating, yes, people use those methods to make the drug feel stronger but potentiation is quite simply using the substance the most efficient way possible. As a rough example: Person takes 15mg oxy by mouth after breakfast, feels like 10mg was taken. Person takes 15mg oxy by mouth on an empty stomach, feels like 15mg oxy was taken. Person takes 15mg oxy by mouth on an empty stomach then has a greasy/spicy breakfast half hour after dosing, feels like 20mg oxy was taken. Person takes cimetidine on an empty stomach then waits an hour, takes 15mg oxy by mouth (still with an empty stomach) along with a dose of promethazine, then has a greasy/spicy breakfast and glass of white grapefruit juice, feels like 30mg oxy was taken. In this scenario the person could then take half their usual dose and achieve the same effect by following the last protocol. Even if they opted out of using cimetidine and promethazine they could still decrease their usual dose, be kinder to their kidneys/liver, and feel as if they had taken the same amount. The point here is that while most use potentiating to get a better high, the same technique can be used to reduce consumption and feel the same. In the long run this adds to your bottom line, is a healthier alternative, and keeps your physical tolerance lower.
 
Don't take it every day.

I could go in depth but long story short, once I got an rx for a painful injury daily things went downhill fast and then shit got really bad.

You get caught up in it quick and there are not exactly many options as far as getting off and handling existing after a certain point.
 
VoodooMaximum said:
Hey Bluelight,

So since about April of this year, I have been using opioids once a week (every Friday, or sometimes I skip Friday and do Saturday if I'm busy doing something Friday night. Typically I use U-47700, but I have substituted it with oxycodone, kratom/kratom extract, opium, codeine, etc...

Besides using MAX only once per week, I have a few rules:
  • Never IV, ever. Don't even read about IVing. )
  • Once the supply runs out, take a 2-4 week break to avoid a habit (I typically buy in bulk, so I'm only on my 2nd or 3rd break, which has lasted 6 weeks so far :D)
  • Never use on a day that I'm having emotional problems (e.g., fighting with my girlfriend...this has happened multiple times).

I've been able to maintain this schedule even through some very tough times over the past year, and I guess I'm just asking how I can keep this under control. I don't really get the sense that I'm losing control or anything, I just want to be proactive and have defenses set up, as I have read how addictions can "sneak up on you." I've done a lot of research on how to maintain controlled and non-addictive patterns of opioid use, including reading this paper, but I want to hear your advice.

TL; DR

Use opioids once per week or less, want advice on how to keep it at that level.
Click to expand...
get really into vaping weed concentrates and exercise. And stop using for 6 months right away, it sounds like you are already hooked imho.
 
Stop while you can as someone with a decade long opioid addiction now on methadone matainice for possibly life all I can say is it wont last
 
That's near to what I do with heroin. My first advice is NEVER NEVER think you are safe from addiction, remember we play a dangerous game here.
My second advice would be "quit now that it will be easy", but then if you ask me "why don't u do it" I wouldn't know what to answer.
 
Man believe this - opiates are a demanding mistress. She will eventually win out, regardless of your rules. She will just laugh at you! I assure you, one day you'll have a bad day at work and pop one for the drive home. Eventually, the afternoon at work becomes a real bear and another pill will make the day go so much easier. See my point? She will play with your mind and make you think it's actually a good idea to take it more often. Seriously, if you have as much control as you say, QUIT now and call it a major victory! I truly wish you the Best!
 
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