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How to get a crush out of your head

Eyes On the Roll

Eyes On the Roll

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
693
Hey.

It's been a while since I've posted here. I'm doing good now. Made a full recovery from the cancer.

Anyways.. I have a huge problem.
I can't get this girl out of my head. No matter what. I don't want to think about her... but honestly, she's all I think about. I work with her, she has a boyfriend. A friend of mine told me that the guy she's with doesn't really care about her, and they are an on and off relationship. He also knows her pretty well, and tells me that she likes me, and he can tell this by the way she acts around me. I honestly like her alot. I'm extremely attracted to her, and I can tell she's attracted to me.

I know that it's never going to happen, and I want to stop liking her. It's like I have feelings again, like some 14 year old kid or something. I just want to forget about her. Remember, that I work with her..

I've tried not talking to her at work.. but somehow she approaches me randomly, and I can't help myself but to flirt with her, and then it all comes back.
I want to stop, I really don't want to deal with this. How do I get her out of my head? It's literally driving me crazy.. I know she likes me, but I will never deal with someone who is in a relationship. It's honestly turning into torture. I want her to become a nobody to me again. How do I do this.
 
As soon as you get an answer then we'll both know. I have the exact same issue with a girl at work. For a whole year now I've had a complete crush on her and thought well it must go away soon, yet she only has to stand near me or I hear her voice or smell her perfume and I turn to jelly. I feel like a crazed teenager, and I keep thinking that it will wear off soon but no such luck. In my case she's single but I've got a girl friend although our relationship is all over the place. Anway, hope to get over the crush as it is affecting my work. I might ask my boss if I can have a cold shower set up over my cubicle :\ PS well done with the cancer recovery :)
 
It's hard to just shut off feelings for people. I've tried but it's futile. My ex used to live right around the block from where I worked. I quit that job in May. I know it's not the same as working with him, but my habit was to go over to his apartment and hang out after work. I havn't driven to that side of town in months now. But he stills calls from time to time acting friendly and inviting me over, but we broke up for good reasons. I don't want to get sucked in again so half the time I don't even return his calls. I still think about him a lot and still on friendly terms. Just can't do this anymore. :(
 
Just try to think negatively about her. Find things that are annoying, etc. about her. Or perhaps you could transfer. Is this an option for you?
 
Congrats on beating cancer!

I've been where you are. Time and distance seems to be the only cure. One thing that helped me was to write a long letter to the person explaining my feelings, just to get it all out of me and on paper. Then I burned it.

She's in a relationship so telling her would lead to rejection probably, but (and I know some people might think this is a bad idea) it could be worth it to tell her anyway just to hear her say no. Then you know for sure there's no way, no how, and you can move on with your life.

Third option is to end up finding someone else who you really like and is awesome, then you'll just forget about this silly obsession and start obsessing over someone who actually digs you. :)
 
Congrats on regaining your health. Life is great and full of fine women, go hang round bars or do whatever it is you normally do to get them. Affairs in the workplace can cause problems even if she was up for it.
 
I'm so happy you beat the cancer! Congrats :)

Anyway - the best thing is really to avoid seeing her as much as possible, but if she's the one who always comes to you I'd say just stop holding on to any hope that it might happen. Maybe it will in the future, who knows, but for now she has a boyfriend so there's no point looking for signals of how she feels about you etc. and thus holding on to the idea that there's a chance with her.
Another good idea is always to go out and meet someone else...even a one night stand will help get your mind off her.
 
I'm also going through the same thing. A new girl started at my work a couple of weeks ago. As soon as i saw her i thought "holy shit, i want her!". We got chatting at work and i ended up getting her number on Thursday. We went out last night for drinks and it was such a good night. A few coincidences going on through the night. It's been a long time since i have got on with a girl the way i do with her.

Here's the thing, i fucking told her i liked her at the end of the night. such a stupid rookie mistake but for some reason i just needed to do it. I'm not normally like this with girls. I can control my feelings for them and just go with the flow. Anyway, i hit the friend zone i think which hasn't happened to me in a long time. Like what the OP said, it's like i'm 14 again and having a crush on a girl for the first time. Only this time i still have the crush. maybe in the future i may actually get somewhere.

Basically the only remedy to get rid of a crush is to just ride it out. it's probably easier to understand why we feel like this. It's all just a bunch of chemicals in the brain going crazy to make ourselves advance. Basically how our species escalated. nowadays it seems like it's wasted and just brings on a burden. Just gotta ride it out and make youself a quad deck super sandwich filled with all your favorite fillings and say to yourself "well, maybe life isn't too bad!!" :)

i also find that this thread works best for these sort of situations. it may make us feel better?
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...or-Crush-Vol-IV!?highlight=write+letter+crush

congratulations on beating the cancer!!
 
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you've got your health and now you need to get over this girl you cant have. what if you could have her though? how would that pan out...

if you want to get someone off your mind remove then from your physical presence/dont contact them and in time it will get forgotten quicker than if you are around them and i speak from my own experience of obsession
 
I find that the best way to get over one person is to find someone else to focus on. Sometimes it works to find something else (like a hobby) to focus on but other times it needs to be an actual person. Even thinking about a celebrity or something like that could be a way to stop focusing on her. Although hopefully you find someone who likes you back. Keep searching, that will come in time :)
 
it seems a bit more complicated than that. it's asif they leave an emotional foot print in concrete. it stays there for a while until the concrete gets covered again.
 
six billion fish in the sea... so unless you are straight up obsessed to the point of stalking her, get out and live a little. Eventually there'll be three or four fish on your mind, and later on you'll have dozens of fish on your mind.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
six billion fish in the sea... so unless you are straight up obsessed to the point of stalking her, get out and live a little. Eventually there'll be three or four fish on your mind, and later on you'll have dozens of fish on your mind.
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Yep, pretty much.

Personally, I just pile on projects for myself, but that's me. There are so many cool opportunities for cool stuff on the Internet that it can consume you and make you forget that stuff.
 
Lysis said:
Yep, pretty much.

Personally, I just pile on projects for myself, but that's me. There are so many cool opportunities for cool stuff on the Internet that it can consume you and make you forget that stuff.
Click to expand...

I'm a guy so we handle this differently; we put on porn and jerk off till the "crush" feeling dissipates. =D
 
^ LOL I wish I could do it that way. Would be much easier and less frustrating.
 
I guess I could focus on someone else, but there isn't anyone else I know that I find interesting and attractive. Idk it's weird, it's like I see everyone in black and white, and she's the only one with color. This is just something different I honestly thought I didn't even have feelings, not going to lie. Well when my X and I broke up almost 3 years ago I just went dead inside, and I somehow convinced myself that's how I always was, and that's how I've been ever since. I'd like to go back to not having anyone on my mind, life is just simpler that way. It kind of scares the hell out of me that I have a crush on someone. I was supposed to work with her today but I switched shifts with someone else so I didn't have to.
 
You sound almost the same as me when I split with my ex almost 3 years ago. I never saw it coming and I lost my self confidence and wondered how I'd ever go out and date again but I made a huge effort to get past that first hurdle and now I can focus on the possibility of other relationships other than my office crush, who has in fact just walked up to me while I'm typing this.... time to go :)
 
Dude. I'm glad you're posting here instead of the BL Shrine! Way to go with the cancer recovery!!!

As far as getting her outta your head; time.... Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day....

Drugs can help, or finding another girl to distract yourself with. Personally I only have eyes for one most of the time so that one has varying levels of success.

Good luck cap'n.
 
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