"How real are internet friendships?"

[Chaotic Action Man]

i have had a few internet friendships that have turned into real friendships. in fact the two closest people i have met over the internet i helped play a hand in them getting together, and they are now married.

they just had a 8 pound 10 ounce baby girl named rachel last thursday. i have met them once, but this was after 3 years of only talking on the internet.

so um ya, there fake as hell. the baby pictures were probably doctored and everything.

 

[DancinXTCangel]

Some of the best friendships in my life first began over the internet. There have also been people I've bonded with in conversation throughout the years but never met IRL. I think it's easier to open up to people over the internet because a lot of the pressures of talking in person are lifted. You can't see their reactions or hear their tone of voice, so if those things are negative you'd never know unless they told you. But I agree that can sometimes lead to revealing more and saying things you'd be afraid to say in person. I catch myself doing it all the time and it can be good and bad... either I bond with people or it's an "open mouth, insert foot" type of situation.

 

[starlightgemini]

Some of the best friendships in my life first began over the internet.

Same here :D

In fact the majority of the friends I have now are people I met through online. And I don't feel weird about it, though an outsider looking into my situation may think differently. But I don't care

The friends I had that lived nearby me (before I moved) were people I met through my friend's message board... who was someone I had only talked to online through another board. Through him I met a bunch of other people. These were all people who lived near me and who went to the same weekly party as me as well as many other places I had gone to. I would have eventually ran into them regardless I think, because we already went to a lot of the same places. In fact some of my "real life" friends had already met some of these people. And when I met my "online friends" in real life they introduced me to more of their friends... and I ended up meeting TONS of people yet it can all be traced back to when I met my "internet friends" in real life.

Then there's Bluelight There were people on this board I had talked to online and on the phone for 2 years or so and had built strong friendships with. And after 2 years of talking online and on the phone I finally met some of these people face-to-face. I met a total of over 50 Bluelighters this past September actually. Some of whom I'd only read posts of on here, some of whom I had been talking to for months or years online and felt very close to. Even BEFORE I met these people face-to-face I considered them good friends. When everyone came to MD in September for the party we did the meetup at, I had already arranged for one of them to stay at my house for the weekend, despite the fact I never met her face to face. Because I felt we were very close friends already. Why wouldn't I want to spend time with her and allow her to stay with me? It was great

A month ago I moved to PA... and am living with 2 people I met through Bluelight. I had only read their posts on BL until the meetup in September... and from then I talked a lot to both of them.... went to visit them in December for one of their birthdays... and from then on we talked about me moving up there with them. And now I finally have. And the 2 of them met the same way... at a Bluelight meetup the year before... and one of them had an open room... and the other moved in with her. And everything is working out for them and everything is working out for all of us now

Don't you try and tell me internet friendships aren't real. It is my belief that if the parties involved want them to be real, they are.

They're very real to me

There's A LOT I could say on this subject but I'd go on endlessly. Like I said above, most of my friendships right now are with people I met online. And I don't care HOW I met them I'm just thankful I have. Right now I am fortunate to have some of the most wonderful people in my life. I'm a firm believer in fate and stupid things like that.. I think our paths were destined to cross or something Who cares HOW it happened, it only matters that it did.

 

[DancinXTCangel]

^^
Well said!!

 

[Monster_ZERO]

From your actions regarding that statement, one can easily tell your opinion of the question at hand.

Please expand on this statement.

I am genuinely interested.

 

[haste]

I've met countless people online that I would consider friends, and many I have met face to face. I think how real it is depends on how real you yourself believe it is. We all have our own definitions of what we consider friendships, both online and offline.

Of course, one of the other deciding factors also is the other person's perception too.

 

[FoxyKel]

In my opinion, off-line relationships have as much potential to be full of falacies and lies as online ones do.

Many people don't need to hide behind a computer in order to lie to you, lead you to believe something is true that isn't, or use you for their own personal gain.

Someone telling you a few white lies, or a few big lies, on a computer screen is probably going to have a little less impact on your life than if someone prominent in your off-line world does the same.

- FK

 

[sexyanon]

Not real relationships, but still fun right? Sometimes you even become good friends with the person... what's wrong with that? And why can't these 'fake' relationships grow into real ones like so many examples posted above?

 

[Web]

Many people don't need to hide behind a computer in order to lie to you, lead you to believe something is true that isn't, or use you for their own personal gain.

In my experience, it's been the exact OPPOSITE... people are far more honest about themselves and their lives when they are "hiding behind a computer". The computer is a shield... something that can let a person feel confident about saying things on-line that they would NEVER say face to face with a person... and then we actualy build stronger bonds with people by sharing these kinds of things with them, on the internet. The people I have shared these bonding times with on-line have become some of my most cherished friends of all time, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. There are people right here on this community that I value above most people out in the "real world", because of how I found them here, and to have found them to be much better people than I could meet at a club or bar or event of any kind. In fact, I have yet to meet one person through rave parties that I kept in contact with over the years... the only people that I have stayed friends with out of that scene are bluelighters.

Aside from a choice few, I love all the people I've met through here, and I'd do just about anything for them.

 

[starlightgemini]

There are people right here on this community that I value above most people out in the "real world", because of how I found them here, and to have found them to be much better people than I could meet at a club or bar or event of any kind..

 

[doofqueen]

internet friendships are fake. How the hell can you say you know someone when you havent even met them in person?

why is it not rel unless there is physical contack? relationships and knowing someone is based on knowing their thoughts and feelings which gets you to know them as a person ie knowing who they are which means they are real (as long as both all parties are not acting fake and being who they are) you don't need to touch or look at someone face to face to know they are real and what you have is real between the two of you....if you do i think it's superficial 8)

 

[LapDawg]

Please expand on this statement.

I am genuinely interested.

No problem.

The previous statement to the one you quoted was basically "It is you who allows how real the relationship can be." Of course there are sides in respect to each person, but in order to make a relationship real, both sides would probably need to have a desire to do so. Then again, one person might be genuine and feel that a friendship is growing while the other is just having fun and has no real intention of making real friends on a computer. It's simply what your perspective is.

The few who oppose the idea that the internet can create solid, meaningful relationships with others probably wouldn't even consider a "real" relationship as a possibility. Thus, their actions to the statement about a person deciding how real a relationship can be [on the internet] would simply reflect their opinion of what they think of the internet and the people they might converse with using it. A person who has no interest in creating a friendship through internet contact would probably say that internet relationships/friendships are not real. That's just my theory.

Regardless of your opinion on the question at hand, it is undeniable that the Internet has become a force in expanding our society and has helped create far more social context than ever before. It is refreshing to read about others who have found meaningful connections with people they've met online as I have. I've met some incredible people through the internet, some of whom are dear friends of mine. I've met many BLers throughout my time spent here and I wouldn't change any of it. This community has loads of fascinating people, many of which I'll never see let alone even talk to. If you allow yourself to be open with people here or in any comfortable setting online, you'll find that most will reciprocate your trust.

Sure, maybe there are some people who you'd like to be friends with but they don't think of the situation the same way. So be it. It happens in the real world too. I don't think a person should consider all people on the internet as "people you can't trust to be friends", just as you shouldn't do that in real-life social situations.

 

[bong420tripper]

I talk to a pretty decent amount of people online and I can say I have never met a single person in real life that I first spoke to on the internet. I'm not necessarily against it, it just hasn't occurred yet. Whether you have met someone or not really has no effect on if you are really a friend or not - I think chatting on the internet is very comparable to speaking on the phone, and in many cases, even preferable.

I'm not quite sure why this is the case, but it seems to me that I am much more likely to meet some certain people from online that I never ever talk to online, in real person, than I am to meet some of the people I chat with nearly everyday, whether it be due to distance or just an odd lack of interest on someone's part. (/end run-on)

All in all, I have to say, it is really just what you make out of it. Furthermore, I think it is pretty obvious in many cases who the "fake" people are who are just trying to portray a certain image online. I'm pretty sure I've come across a few from here, to be honest. I don't talk to them much anymore...

 

[247]

[BGranted, this can be applied to people you see on a daily basis as well. I mean, you never REALLY do know anybody.

But you can't ignore the fact that an internet buddy can decieve you with much, much, much more ease than a real-life, physically-present buddy could.

[/B]

for amorrourk

 

[ez_555]

i suppose it really depends on the people starting the friendship, but i know in my personal experiance internet friendships are very real. for me it was a good way to open up to my friend and get to know each other etc. i'm a pretty quiet person but i speak comfortably around people that i know well. by starting a friendship on the internet you can get all the 'get to know each other' stuff out of the way... then when you meet up you're great buds!

i think internet friendships are great, you find out things about the person that you may not have in face-to-face conversation... plus there's nothing more exciting then getting a long email in your inbox.

 

[tha_krazy_pawtie_kid]

i have started out by meeting people through message boards and whatnot-and then i have met them. i think that you can have an internet friendship-but it can only go so far without contact.

 

[haste]

I think the net can play the important role of ice breaker - you already know abit about each other so when you meet offline its not as uneasy as it might be.

 

[Pasilda Nacera]

I believe that internet friendships are just as normal as physical friendships. In fact, on an internet relationship one can get a deeper connection with another person if they are both true to each other.

(finally found a thread that really relates to me)

For me I always thought that internet friendship was just a way to pass time when your bored. Then I was searching one day for people into house music and i found KisSMyAss. I talked to her just to have someone to talk about house music but then I got her number and she gave me hers because it seemed we have similar interests.

Then when I drove up to San Francisco for a wedding, I got to meet her in real person and she showed me a good time. Now we cant stop talking to each other. I think about her all the time and she thinks about me all the time.

The point im trying to make is that friendships on the internet can become more.

 

[Mysterier]

^i was going to post something negative but i read this feel good story....congrats Pasilda.

 

[spork]

Bump