There are only 3 people who truly know who I am. My mother, my father and my girlfriend. Even my brothers dont get the real me because i still hide aspects of my life from them. For example my older brother is a captain in the marines and i do not think he knows my girlfriend and i were IV heroin addicts, nor would I want him to. Aside from being a total authoritarian monster in a sense (makes a great marine officer) it would just be more worry then he needs.
But I have a lot of interesting pieces of my life that i can not be directly open about. I have strange hobbies, i never seem to fit in because i am like half that guy in high school you knew who had no friends and just studied and half the guy who was expelled for selling weed in school... just almost caught in stead of actually. So although new people who find out about my interests can hear me drone on and on about chemistry solely because they relate it to drugs but i dont mind talking about it is talking about it. I actually told my g/f to let me know if it gets to be too much because that is my problem it would be like a party at the university and i would be like "the fuck! where is my white board i could draw out this shit better for you if i can get my white board!"
I use to say "people get the szuko tailored to their personality, which is why everyone seems to like me for the most part i keep my personality retaliative to theirs" So I try to relate to people a lot but that is why they wont get the real me, not many have my interests as anything more then a surface interest or passing fancy. I have a small amount of hobbies that fall under the grouping "my hobby" as in "just buying stuff for my hobby" but even that people cant relate too or they always assume what is popular at the time be it "breaking bad" or "terrorism" no one see it as "furthering education" I am lucky to live in the age of the internet where someone with an obsure hobby can find refuge in a forum with people similar to them without that i guess i would be in some dark corner of a library or at the very least i would have to be around a bunch of weird science people (some people in my higher chemistry classes lacked good social skills) I still love them but sometimes it would be awkward for no reason but that was probably because i was an alcoholic and probably smelt like liquor anytime i was in a study group LOL
But I think that a lot of life is doing just that. I have a lot of people who "understand me" and get the fact if given the opportunity i will go off on lengthy rants about stuff no one cares about. They understand that I majored in hard sciences (a dated term, kinda) at a university but because they do not see the world through my eyes they dont know what it is to be me and i think that is the true definition of "knowing you" to know what the world looks like to someone or to guess their response to something. For instance I know my girlfriend enough to know which insignificant event will be blown up into a huge one by her, when i try to see it through her view, i may not feel the same way about it but i can go "oh god i have to hide the fact theres no vitamin waters left until i can get her one" or something as insignificant as that. Hard to explain but i think you get what i mean
*lol most of that is a rant so i will conclude with this paragraph, above being optional
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I think that you dont let people in as much as get comfortable around them. I feel if you have to say "should i offer more information at this time?" then the answer is no. It is only no because if you were at the point of being more open it would flow naturally. I always advise to take it slow with pasts only because there is a lot of information there for better or for worse. It is important to get to know the other person's personality by interaction before getting to know their past through information. We all come from somewhere but that doesnt mean it made you into someone though.
