How far down the rabbit hole am I? Rehab?

[Belatohs]

Hey guys first post you guys seem like a intelligent bunch unlike myself I'll try and keep this as brief as possible.

~june/july of last year I had a panic attack, and then another one a few weeks later. Felt like I was going to freak out and pass out when I left the house all that good stuff.
I went to my primary doc and described my symptoms, mainly how I feel like I'm gonna pass out in crowded places and have the need to get out as quick as possible. So he does an EKG, full blood panel. Everything comes back fine and he refers me to a cardiologist. (I did not go this appointment, I work out daily as it is I don't believe I have heart issues.)

so I basically would suffer through work feeling like I'm on the verge of freaking out or passing out, I'd get off work, go to the gym and drink till I fell asleep. I did this for months repetitively. I took weeks off here and there, nothing changed I still felt the same way.

so I order some etizolam and promptly got myself hooked on that, I started taking it and just never stopped. I was good on etiz for about 6 months, then I tried clonazolam which is much more powerful and longer acting. I don't remember days lets just say that. SO fast forward to know I'm taking 10g of diclazapem a day or ~100mg of valium from what I've heard on the conversion rates. Which is going well but oh my god how bad is it gonna be when i try and ween off these grey market benzos? Any advice help/guidance would be wonderful.

If this thread is in the wrong forum please move it XD

 

[MrRoot]

Hi,
100mg Valium a day is a lot and don't cold turkey as you have been doing it for a long time. Best method would be to switch to a Valium if possible as it has a long half life and you actually know how much your dose is which is often hard with RCs.

Ashton Manual is a great thing to look at when it comes to benzo dependancy and addiction. There are a lot of tapering regimens and general information. http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

I wish you luck with tapering.

 

[Moreaux]

If you do a slow taper it shouldn't be so bad. At the amount you are taking now make certain you do not run out...should you run out go to the emergency room or set up an appointment with your doctor (if they can see you that day). Acute withdrawal can be deadly from immediate cessation, it causes an overly active glutamate response (excitotoxicity) which causes siezures and does very real neurological damage which takes literal years to recover from. I took Xanax for 10 years and was cut off cold turkey at rehab. Six years later I am benzo free but I am still recovering from the excitotoxicity and still have a little ways to go. You will most likely feel high tends anxiety with your taper, learn breathing techniques and meditation - this anxiety is temporary so don't give in, it does get better. Good luck!

 

[Belatohs]

Hi,
100mg Valium a day is a lot and don't cold turkey as you have been doing it for a long time. Best method would be to switch to a Valium if possible as it has a long half life and you actually know how much your dose is which is often hard with RCs.

Ashton Manual is a great thing to look at when it comes to benzo dependancy and addiction. There are a lot of tapering regimens and general information. http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

I wish you luck with tapering.

great advice, which is why I switched to diclazepam it has the longest half life of any RC benzos, and I know how much I'm taking I get it from a reputable source, each drop is ~.5g of diclazepam so I could taper this down myself but I know know if I want to cause I have legitimate terrible anxiety I am self treating, or if I'm just addicted to benzos or one in the same. I've read up on benzos WDs and all that. Nobody knows I've been taking any of this so its been kind of a secret addiction, just felt good to vent on here. I just don't know if I'll be able to taper myself, and I cant afford to go see a DR about this

edit: I don't want to see a DR about this for financial reasons, I could buy a supply that would last me months for the price of going to see a DR one time with my insurance

 

[Notcomingback]

My advice would be to slowly taper your dose using a benzo with a long Half-Life (Use one that you're experienced with, not a new chemical) At this point if you were to quit Cold-turkey your seizure threshold would be non exsisitent and the rebound anxiety would be terrifying. Just ONE week of clonazolam use caused violent rebound anxiety and muscle tension. Benzos are meant for short term relief and it seems both patient, doctor, and psychonaughts have all forgotten this. Best of luck friend.

 

[thelung]

definitely consult the Ashton manual for info about tapering off the benzos *slowly*. is there a medical detox facility where you live? if there is you should try and get a bed. keep us updated and good luck

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

You are in for a long haul taper, if my experience is anything to go by. I took 100mg+ daily valium for a year or two, it took me about a year after that to taper down to 2mg or something. At that point I jumped off. It was horrible horrible horrible, but entirely doable. Coming off that way I never experienced any seizures, just depression, GAD and the occasional panic attack every day or two to keep me on my toes. Still held down my job and looked after the family and whatnot, so didn't destroy my life in that regard.

That's why I recommend a long taper to any benzo addict. I've done quick tapers at other times, that's a whole different level of scary he'll, with all the seizures and that lovely stuff putting me on my ass and making me accidentally destroy the living room when they happened.