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How ever is watching...HELP

T

TiffanyTwisted

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
20
So I'm 16 days clean from fentanyl ( I'd like to know how it EVER got FDA approved) and I'm going to my dudes house today. I wonder if I can do just one days worth and have to go through WDs. I'm not even sure I'm completely done with WDs yet. U feel pretty good, but, of course, think about it all the time! Help! Can I do it?
 
There is no way this will be just once. First of all, you will get withdrawals, it's WAY too soon to not. But besides that, this train of thought is your addict brain fooling you again. You must resist this, it will not end well.

Good job making it 16 days, that's awesome. Don't ruin it now though, step back and realize part of you is trying to get back on fentanyl, you're rationalizing but you shouldn't listen to that.
 
Thank you guys. I'm bawling my eyes out right now. I'm so scared of my own weakness and I don't want to fuck up my progress. Ugh. Make it stop!! Thank you guys so much. I'm probably crying because you didn't say what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear " yeah... Half a sticker should be fine...it won't fuck up your progress, and you'll get to feel good and normal for one day".
 
I hope you made the right decision today Tiffany. Crying is good. I did plenty of that trust me. Heck, still do.
people like us can’t just use once or twice every now and again. We just can’t. Shit, I don’t know anyone that can really. Especially if you have ever had a habit. The cravings will become less and less. It might not seem like it but they will. I promise.
I am praying for us all. We can beat this crap. Might be torture for a while, but in the long run, we will all think back about how stupid it was to do the shit in the first place.
I’m fighting major cravings today myself. I am gonna do everything in my power not to act on them. If I use the consequences could be losing my wife and kids. That is NOT an option.
Holler at me anytime tiff.
Much love
 
If it makes you feel better, I finally got off opiates for good over 4 years ago, and I never have cravings anymore, opiate addiction is a thing of my past, I hardly ever even think about it. And it's been this way for years. The most important thing is to identify things in your life that you were covering up with opiates, and remove those things that are causing you pain. And then, fill the missing places with things that make you feel good, and things you love, and things you're passionate about. Pick up a new hobby, make some new friends, move somewhere else, get out in nature more, start playing music, change your career... whatever it is that you want to do with your life, start moving towards that. You'll feel better in no time. But you can't just cut opiates out and change nothing about your life, or you'll keep wanting to lean on your old crutch to deal with your problems.

Also... EXERCISE. Super important, it'll help so much. It produces endorphins which are your body's natural opiates, the reason you feel shitty is because your body has to re-balance your natural reward system. Exercise helps a lot with this.
 
Nice job on the 16 days. Fent huh ? You just went through hell.! Don't make it for nothing. Don't go to dudes house EVER. It's WAY too soon .
Making a list of things you are grateful for , helps me fight cravings . And anyway, they made us do that in rehab. Are you going to meetings ? Those can help especially early on .
 
All that clean time and you still are in contact with Dude? Dude never goes away, I have blocked him and I still get messages that he can do anythingatall# He fed his addiction of mine so long the guy is rightfully hurt that my sobriety is more important. I really hope you stayed strong it?s not worth it. I just relapsed after 6 months and I ended up doing way to much for my body. Frieaking everyone was so dismissive of all the clean time I had. Typical selfish me shit. Do your best, you have plenty of resources here. I believe it helps me when I need it most.
edit still dealing with wd induced psychosis
 
Bump....
tiffany, how are you?? I hope you are doing well. Or better than me at least. I screwed up. Ive been using again the last cpl days. I know there is absolutely no valid excuse for my bad choices, but Wednesday evening I found out my older sister has a fucking brain tumor on her brain stem and spinal cord. I flipped out and made a call. My coping skills are absolute crap. Gotta work on lots of things. I’m sorry for doing it. I feel like I let everybody down. Good news is I flushed the remainder this morning and not going back down that route again. After all I went through to get better, I CANT start over.
We found out that it’s a 99% chance it’s benign, but the spot it’s on is very bad and could cause paralysis, and all the way to possibly death.soooo, radio surgery first, and if doesn’t work, a super dangerous surgery will be next. I’m scared as shit for her. She has 2 little girls the same age as mine. 6@10. I can’t be all fucked up again, she tells me every day how proud she is of me. Makes me sick I’ve done this.
i hope and pray you are still adding up days. keep in touch. I’m always here for help or support or whatever. Lord knows we both need it.
you have been doing great. Please keep pushing!!
Love ya,
chris
 
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Hey Beenbetter, don't beat yourself up, it's huge that you flushed the rest. Don't let shame weaken you, you're human and everyone makes mistakes. A slip up doesn't undo the work you've done. I'm proud of you for flushing the rest of it. And I'm sure your sister would be too. <3
 
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