How effective is therpy.

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I am forced to go to therapy now. I might as well take as advantage of it and let them know my deepest pains.. Are they effective.. My last counselor put thoughts in my head, made me rebel, didn't listen, judged me, and dropped me once he knew about the dark side of me.

Can it help me.... I have so many problems but some of them cannot be told because I will be out away. I am at the edge of the rope to suicide some days. I end up thinking to deep about existence, heaven, or Hell.. I've come to accept that we create our own Heaven or Hell. We are in charge. Heaven is the reward for hard work, success, struggling, and accomplishment and only created through good will and structure but most of all balance and priority. Hell is a tangled mess of one's lies and wrongs in life. Living life with no accomplishment or structure. Failing more and living a miserable life because of ones "Demons" habits. Your born with certain energy. Most people have a balance of negative and positive. Some are given pure negativity while others pure positivity. And others cycle thru the energies because of sensitivity and illness.

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

despite popular depiction, therapy is not revealing your deepest secrets in exchange for an explanation of why you are. it's working with the therapist to realize, accept, and utilize a healthier paradigm. that paradigm is likely adverse to whatever paradigm you are entering therapy with, and i've had limited success overcoming that hurdle.

 

[alasdairm]

Are they effective.

for some people, yes. for some people. no. for some people, a bit of both.

Can it help me.

maybe.

Will I find what made me a druggy....

maybe.

i had a very positive experience with therapy a few years ago. worked for me. might not work for you. therapy isn't a silver bullet. it doesn't hand you answers on a plate - it's more of a tool to help you find answers yourself.

you need to be prepared to be honest and to ask and answer some questions honestly.

alasdair

 

[LuGoJ]

^ This

Don't expect to show up and be fixed within a matter of weeks. You are going to have to do the leg work, the therapist can only guide you. You are also going to have to go out of your comfort zone and deal with your feelings and emotions. If you are someone that always insists on doing things your way, be prepared to waste a lot of time.

You will only get out of it, what you put in. if you don't lay all of your cards on the table, don't expect results.

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Damn.. I have a hard time laying down any cards because I expect others to do it for me.. I never had to really work hard at anything either I was given help or it came naturally.

 

[Acanthus]

I have never understood the point in it, and fail to see how others derive any benefit from it. This is not from a lack of trying. Sitting down and talking to parents/friends is worth 1000 psychologists/psychiatrists. Your mind secretly knows the friendship and care is fake with the latter... then again most people are delusional so maybe this is why the industry thrives.

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I have never understood the point in it, and fail to see how others derive any benefit from it. This is not from a lack of trying. Sitting down and talking to parents/friends is worth 1000 psychologists/psychiatrists. Your mind secretly knows the friendship and care is fake with the latter... then again most people are delusional so maybe this is why the industry thrives.

I wish I had someone to talk to. All my dad does is yell at me and call me a pussy for crying a lot.. My friends won't help me. They push me to use more. They hold me Down... My mom I guess but she's to busy for our family. Work is all she cares about..

I don't have support. My cousin tries to help but he has never done drugs... He doesn't understand... I was raised around the drugs.. My uncle used pretty much all my life 18-20 years.. What does my family expect.. He was my role model.. Did they really think that one of me and my siblings would see this shit growing up and be scared and not try drugs. It's normal for kids to try stuff if they see someone they care about doing it or to follow their role models steps

 

[alasdairm]

I have never understood...

evidently.

...and fail to see...

evidently.

Your mind secretly knows the friendship and care is fake with the latter...

if your previous therapists have been providing you with nothing more than fake friendship and care, then it sounds like you were unlucky enough to be seen by a poor therapist.

for me, there's something of great value in being able to discuss issues with somebody who is not emotionally invested in me and can provide as objective a perspective as possible. they're also trained in clinical diagnosis and can equip patients with tools to help them help themselves.

friends and family have the best of intentions but they can't really offer anything close to the type of help a quality, qualified professional can.

alasdair

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

evidently.
evidently.
if your previous therapists have been providing you with nothing more than fake friendship and care, then it sounds like you were unlucky enough to be seen by a poor therapist.

for me, there's something of great value in being able to discuss issues with somebody who is not emotionally invested in me and can provide as objective a perspective as possible. they're also trained in clinical diagnosis and can equip patients with tools to help them help themselves.

friends and family have the best of intentions but they can't really offer anything close to the type of help a quality, qualified professional can.

alasdair

Seems like all they care about is messing everything up and treating me like a Damn druggy and like I'm my uncle.. I never got in trouble with the law or costed anyone anything. I did my shit safe and stayed off the grid.. I try not smoke weed out of respect but when life's miserable a good high helps. We just don't see alike.

I am reckless, cautiously deviant. To me hard drugs and death are nothing. Whatever happens happens. It's my life so why does anyone care so much. I'm tired of people's "Help" all it is is judging.. If I wanna die before 20 that's my choice... I should be able to do what I want when I want.. My parents are like my shadow. They are always following me and watching me like I'm gonna fuck up. They harass my friends. Tell me they don't care about my weed habit yet that's all I hear is quit stop cut down... I can support my own habit without stealing so wtf. Damn... Just thinking about it..
My life would be soo much more bearable if my family wasn't in it. I'd never have to worry. I won't be judged by cunts. I could do what I want... Only thing negative is that I'd probably more than likely Overdose as I wouldn't care about being strung out or heeled. I'd buy grams at a time because I can spend my own money! Without being bitched at for spending 10-20$ a day..

 

[Felonious Monk]

I have never understood the point in it, and fail to see how others derive any benefit from it. This is not from a lack of trying. Sitting down and talking to parents/friends is worth 1000 psychologists/psychiatrists. Your mind secretly knows the friendship and care is fake with the latter... then again most people are delusional so maybe this is why the industry thrives.

This is 100% bullshit. OP, please don't listen to this, alasdairm was so much more on target.

Therapy can absolutely be effective. Having someone objective to talk to is invaluable. Family and friends are almost NEVER able to give objective opinions, they're biased by their own interests.

Therapists can also point out issues with your family and friends that they would never point out themselves.

 

[alasdairm]

Seems like all they care about is messing everything up and treating me like a Damn druggy and like I'm my uncle.. I never got in trouble with the law or costed anyone anything. I did my shit safe and stayed off the grid.. I try not smoke weed out of respect but when life's miserable a good high helps. We just don't see alike.

I am reckless, cautiously deviant. To me hard drugs and death are nothing. Whatever happens happens. It's my life so why does anyone care so much. I'm tired of people's "Help" all it is is judging.. If I wanna die before 20 that's my choice... I should be able to do what I want when I want.. My parents are like my shadow. They are always following me and watching me like I'm gonna fuck up. They harass my friends. Tell me they don't care about my weed habit yet that's all I hear is quit stop cut down... I can support my own habit without stealing so wtf. Damn... Just thinking about it..
My life would be soo much more bearable if my family wasn't in it. I'd never have to worry. I won't be judged by cunts. I could do what I want... Only thing negative is that I'd probably more than likely Overdose as I wouldn't care about being strung out or heeled. I'd buy grams at a time because I can spend my own money! Without being bitched at for spending 10-20$ a day..

you can do what you want.

if you are not doing what you want, what do you want? why aren't you doing it?

alasdair

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

This is 100% bullshit. OP, please don't listen to this, alasdairm was so much more on target.

Therapy can absolutely be effective. Having someone objective to talk to is invaluable. Family and friends are almost NEVER able to give objective opinions, they're biased by their own interests.

Therapists can also point out issues with your family and friends that they would never point out themselves.

It sounds like it is. Like when I try to talk to my family they just say I'm lying and that I had such an amazing life... They don't wanna admit that they pushed me away and made me learn to hate them... Or that they didnt neglect me.. Or that all my problems stem from them.. They think they did such a good job as parents... Totally one kids a hopless addict, the others an angry snotty cry Babey wannabe, and their other kid moved out, changed their number, and hasn't been seen sense... Grade A parents. Your kids hate you but you did so good..

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Little things. Like if I leave I am going to have to prepare. If I try to they embarrass me so much or may call the cops.. Pretty much "If you try to leave we will report you to the court and do everything we can to take your rights away and make you look unstable so either you live by our rules, go to jail, or it's the mental home"... So yea Idk what to do

 

[Felonious Monk]

Some of that stuff depends on how old you are. If you're under 18 you might want to get to talk to someone at CPS first of your plan to move out, have them help to coordinate. If what you say is true that sounds like child abuse. If you're over 18 they have a lot less say over you and would have trouble proving you unstable if you're not (try not to be using illegal drugs or making bad choices). But still, move out and don't tell them of your plan.

How long would you need to get out? Would it help to stay at a friend's house for a couple days?

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I would need to get out of town maybe go to Denver and hide out.. If not they'll come knocking at every place I stay

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Also I'm almost 19... But I have been doing H for a long long time.. They found out last year but didn't care enough to put me in rehab or to get me Suboxone. I quit that time cold turkey.. No otc either because I don't take OTC anymore because of bad experiences with certain ones.... Hell I can't even swallow pills because I was a pill head too.. But all I remember is horrible pain and sickness... I made it through somehow... This proved my place. I don't feel bad about hating my parents. I might do it though.. My friends mom has agreed to let me move to New Mexico with them... But I have to be clean... They will drug test me before we do anything... These people are serious when they say shit

 

[Smoky]

Therapy takes time… especially to build a therapeutic alliance with someone you can trust. What type of therapy will you be using? Transpersonal is my favorite. Will you be stabilized first? Some will work with HR, some won't…

Therapy helps the therapist too, that's why they do it…

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Therapy takes time… especially to build a therapeutic alliance with someone you can trust. What type of therapy will you be using? Transpersonal is my favorite. Will you be stabilized first? Some will work with HR, some won't…

Therapy helps the therapist too, that's why they do it…

Yea man. Honestly it is easier to talk to a stranger... Rather than someone I know well. It's good to get around to all walks of life, but strangers can only judge because they don't know shit about you ha. And when you tell them your sad story they look at you differently but doesn't everyone change their views after getting to know what your about. All because "drugs are bad". Hollywood makes it worse though honestly.. The heroin withdrawals look to powerful almost like coming off of a really bad ass combo... Ha

 

[Acanthus]

This is 100% bullshit. OP, please don't listen to this, alasdairm was so much more on target.

How dare you call my personal objective opinions "bullshit". My experiences of therapy being a complete waste of money and time are very well founded. Personally I am for whatever reason unable to trick myself into believing the therapist actually gives a crap about me, or wants anything in the slightest to do with me. Unfortunately this innately low capacity for self-deception leads to me realizing that going through this process is nothing but an extended monetary transaction, with a complementary fake concern, and in no way a genuine expression of human care. As such, I was not on a human level able to benefit at all from it.

Then there's the fact that Spacey Kid is being forced into that situation, which completely compromises the free will someone is supposedly meant to have in order to benefit from such a situation. In my opinion that's actually a cynical admission that the whole process is essentially pointless anyway, but at least the buck has been passed and Spacey is in good hands, right. Parents often do this. They can't be bothered showing true affection and parenting to their own children, so they hire a psych to do it instead.

PS: I see Bluelight's moderator standards are really impressive...

 

[herbavore]

^A counselor, therapist or psychologist/psychiatrist does not necessarily have to care about you in the way you are describing (affection, friendship) and in fact, shouldn't feel those things for a client. The role of a therapist is to guide you to other ways of seeing, other ways of thinking/perceiving and ultimately other ways of acting--not to try to "fix" you which is usually the well-intentioned but disastrous goal of those that love you, be they friends or family. The goal of therapy is to equip you with tools. Period.

There are tons of lousy therapists out there that offer nothing more than a place to talk about yourself for an hour. There are also tons of therapists out there that are skilled in helping others change limiting habits of thought by showing them practices that are effective to achieve that change. Most of us resist change even when our lives depend on it because whatever hell we are living in is at least a familiar hell and the unknown presents as scarier. The most effective therapy for me has been simply sitting with an objective observer that can reflect back to me my own self-generated mind traps. This is not in place of talking to friends and family, this is in conjunction. Both have something different to offer.

OP, as I said in another thread, I really think that moving away from your immediate family for a while might be in your best interests. When there is family dysfunction all that drama keeps you from seeing what part you are playing in your own unhappiness; in other words it is hard to separate out what is just a cycle of over-reaction between you and your parents and what is your own mind holding you back. Creating a self-sustaining life for yourself would give you the space to explore what is really troubling you without the constant fear and mistrust you are drowning in at home. If that doesn't seem possible, what about a couple of sessions of family counseling to create better communication between all of you?