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Addiction How does one break the cycle?

skelz

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2023
Messages
7
Like, what do sober people do man?
I've been an addict for practically my whole 27 years of living
Weed, booze and cigarettes at 13
Litre of whiskey 3-4 times a week and atleast 8 standard drinks between them days and a pouch of cigarettes every 3 days from 20 onwards
23 Introducing 500mg- 1 gram of mdma 2-3 times a week to that mix
A few weeks later throw in lsd and mushrooms on the days I wasn't doing mdma sometimes on the days I was. Still drinking and smoking at rhe same level sometimes more while doing this, there were many days I'd drink 2 litres of whiskey and a pouch of tobacco in one day
24 I discover xanax, oh boy was xanax an evil fucking one worked my way upto 10 2.4mg bars a day quit mdma during this time it's a bit hazy dont exactly know when
25 I had quit mdma by this time. during one of my xanax withdrawal days where I couldn't score for the life of me I didn't actually know I was going through withdrawals then just that i wanted to get high, I find oxycontin oh oxycontin that beautiful bitch
I use this one here and there only once a week, too expensive back then.
Shortly after i quit xanax cold Turkey with my best friend watched 2 days into it we do lsd only to watch him go into psychosis and have a grand mal seizure 4 hours later
I relapse that night haunted by the sight of my best friend taken away in an ambulance tripping out my head and in benzo withdrawals. Cold Turkey again a couple days later. I barely remember it it was so traumatic of an experience.
Then I get heavy into oxycontin, was getting sheets of the stuff for next to nothing doing it 2-3 times a week and wouldn't ya know it I'm on benzos again doing clonazepam on the days between.
At some point I quit drinking after my thousandth attempt, switched from smoking tobacco to vaping Shortly after.
26 I taper off clonazepam, I use oxy 2-4 times a week now for 7 months with increasing dosages and shorter and shorter times in between uses then I use oxy for 3 months straight and am now on day 3 of cold Turkey.
Currently using lyrica at night(short term only) for withdrawals but spending the day time sober and I just I don't know how people do it
How do I live life sober?
 
That sucks. Sorry you had to go through that.

Early sobriety is rarely a picnic. I think at first it takes tons of trust in your future self that it will pay off. Most people start out grudgingly. Like all good things, it takes energy and time. But you can totally do it!

Getting professional help will greatly increase your chances of staying sober. Therapy, then see if you need psych meds, being totally honest. NA or other substance support groups can give you a lot of support.

Cutting off contacts with people who sell and/or use can also help a ton.

Try not to stress too much, especially in these early days, but also try to keep fairly busy. Stress and boredom are main contributors to relapse.

With time, you'll come to realize that the sober life is far better than the using one. I know it's easy to say, but it's definitely true.

Thanks for reaching out. You got this!
 
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