How do you handle a bully co-worker?

[LilikoiMoon]

Long story short ... I got hired in a position that I love as a medical assistant at a local clinic.

I took the position of a young woman who deserved to be fired. Her mother is the office manager, whom I got on with great, until I overheard her talking about me a few weeks ago.

She's constantly trying to find a mistake I made. This woman has to be the most immature 60 yr old woman I have ever met, plus extremely two faced.

I brought her candy, we talked about our kids/grandkids, my son's murder, etc, so I have been kind to her.

My boss lady, co owner of the clinic, treats me so well, and I her. She defends and protects me. She has frontal lobe damage, so I do more for her than any boss before.

How do I report what's going on to my boss without adding stress to her condition?

How can I get this bully bitch off my back for good? I can defend myself well and if she wasn't her age, I'd have probably punched her weeks ago. Lol.

I love my patients so much and one told me the bully is just jealous because of my inner, happy light and that I passed her daughter with this job.

 

[LuGoJ]

Long story short ... I got hired in a position that I love as a medical assistant at a local clinic.

I took the position of a young woman who deserved to be fired. Her mother is the office manager, whom I got on with great, until I overheard her talking about me a few weeks ago.

She's constantly trying to find a mistake I made. This woman has to be the most immature 60 yr old woman I have ever met, plus extremely two faced.

I brought her candy, we talked about our kids/grandkids, my son's murder, etc, so I have been kind to her.

My boss lady, co owner of the clinic, treats me so well, and I her. She defends and protects me. She has frontal lobe damage, so I do more for her than any boss before.

How do I report what's going on to my boss without adding stress to her condition?

How can I get this bully bitch off my back for good? I can defend myself well and if she wasn't her age, I'd have probably punched her weeks ago. Lol.

I love my patients so much and one told me the bully is just jealous because of my inner, happy light and that I passed her daughter with this job.

Her mother is the office manager? You are facing an uphill battle here. A lot of things can come into play.

How long have you worked there and how long has she? What sort of severance package will they have to pay to her VS you? Even if she is a bully, how effective is she at her job?

 

[neversickanymore]

I would just report this in a professional way that will leave a retrievable record that you did so.

Consider write a professional correspondence of what you see going on and back it up with specifically what happened. Present it in a non judgmental way; just the facts and concerns you have while avoiding degrading the person whose conduct is in question.

Email, may be a good option.

With a record that you did this you would be able to present it in any case for wrongful termination.

 

[MissVL]

Kicking her in the vag wouldn't be uncalled for.

But seriously, I hate workplace bullies - or any bullies for that matter. Someone close to me suffered a mental breakdown after years of being relentlessly bullied at work.
Definitely keep record of everything that happens, I know you don't want to talk to your boss about it but it needs to be done. Just tell her that it's making you feel very uncomfortable. Chances are if the boss threatens the bully she will stop with the bullshit, and if not we'll at least your boss is aware of what is happening to you.
good luck :D

 

[CosmicG]

Neversickanymore has some good advice as always. I work in a kitchen and work bullies are quite common in this field of work. I am normally a very focused, laid back worker but after being bullied in the past one too many times, my kindness being percieved as weakness, I just don't put up with anyone's crap anymore.

You work in a much more professional atmosphere I am sure, so these types of situations must be handled quite differently. I would go with filing a documented report via email as spoken about above. Best of luck! Don't let anybody get you down by disturbing your inner peace you know you earned the position you are in and have it for a reason.

 

[money123]

The more time you are distracted by bullying me the less you have to concentrate on your work game and believe me – it shows. Maybe if you spent less time thinking of creative ways to make my life hell and more ways of generating income yourself, and not stealing my ideas, then the business would do better. But I guess only time will tell when I leave and you are left to fend for yourself

 

[LuGoJ]

The more time you are distracted by bullying me the less you have to concentrate on your work and believe me – it shows. Maybe if you spent less time thinking of creative ways to make my life hell and more ways of generating income yourself, and not stealing my ideas, then the business would do better. But I guess only time will tell when I leave and you are left to fend for yourself

oh man! is this for real?!

Epic fail on OP's part if she didn't clear her history...

 

[rickolasnice]

I don't get it.

 

[T. Calderone]

I don't get it.

Could be the OP posted this on a workplace computer going by money's response.

 

[L2R]

i give advice on these kinds of matters daily. the basic rundown is to diarise all instances of misbehaviour. that means write down the date, time and exact action and/or quote. the idea of getting down examples is that over time, depending on severity of the action (more severe less examples. less severe more examples) you can establish that it is an ongoing pattern of behaviour, rather than a one off or a personality clash or your insecurity/sensitivity as a cause to be written off.

all industrial cases like this are determined on the balance of probability. a diary is not evidence that could stand very well in court, but in the workplace it is the best that you can do. yes, submit your complaint along with your list in an email. anything less than a strong case will likely be determined to be a personality clash, in which case try to get a mediated process happening.

let me know if you need any further explanation.

 

[LuGoJ]

i give advice on these kinds of matters daily. the basic rundown is to diarise all instances of misbehaviour. that means write down the date, time and exact action and/or quote. the idea of getting down examples is that over time, depending on severity of the action (more severe less examples. less severe more examples) you can establish that it is an ongoing pattern of behaviour, rather than a one off or a personality clash or your insecurity/sensitivity as a cause to be written off.

all industrial cases like this are determined on the balance of probability. a diary is not evidence that could stand very well in court, but in the workplace it is the best that you can do. yes, submit your complaint along with your list in an email. anything less than a strong case will likely be determined to be a personality clash, in which case try to get a mediated process happening.

let me know if you need any further explanation.

This really depends on the office though. Where I worked, they fought to keep anyone that had been there more than 10 years.. no matter the complaint. We had multiple employees leave in tears, people just not show up after lunch on day etc all because certain employees were bullies. Instead of reprimanding the employees, they blamed the the employees that left for "causing problems" "being difficult" "not wanting to work with seniors" etc

For an office run by a dictator, it may not have the intended outcome. For an actual professional office run by normal people with a good HR department, your suggestion is great though.