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How do you deal with all these girls who have been through shit

moonyham said:
I got too much cool in me it seems, this is the problem. I need to be less cool!

8 years. Definitely not anything like that. We've always agreed it would be a waste of life to not go fuck other people at some point. We just hadn't got around to it/stars weren't really aligned.

This experience has really solidified what we already knew, which is we have the best thing ever and no one could come close.
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Can't imagine ever finding a woman like that myself, not in this lifetime. It's bizarre but it makes a great deal of sense.
 
negrogesic said:
Can't imagine ever finding a woman like that myself, not in this lifetime. It's bizarre but it makes a great deal of sense.
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I think deep down most people know it makes sense but struggle with the social judgment. Think it takes a certain level of maturity in a relationship to realise having physical intimacy with others isn't a slant towards your own relationship.

No one would expect you to eat at the same restaurant every day just because your partner runs it. Why deprive ourselves of what many of us want which is variation in the things we enjoy.
 
Christ, I hate this question with a passion. Let me simplify things as much as possible to avoid writing a line-by-line assessment of the problem with your attitude.

Everyone has been through shit, plain and simple, including you. Everyone has issues - you clearly have a few. Fuck it, let me delve into this in more detail...

moonyham said:
I seem to have this issue where almost every girl I talk to I feel is a bit nuts. I put that gently. Some nights I am feeling like why did I even talk to these girls, they are sucking my energy.
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I guarantee they are thinking the same thing about you.

moonyham said:
Anyway it's not all bad. I've met a few cool girls that seem pretty level headed. Well I think that then I'll wake up to a random text about how we cant meet again with cryptic bullshit that doesn't make sense to me. Girls that are/were keen to fuck or that we have fucked, acting like I've done some shit while I'm sleeping.
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They were themselves just looking to hook up but were not actually into you beyond that.

moonyham said:
I'm starting to doubt my own ability to read people because it seems everyone is the flakiest up and down hard to read mother fucker, regardless of how legit they appear.
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Why would you ever think that you were able to read people, given what you've already said about your complete surprise that the girls you've met didn't turn out to be the perfect image of a girl with zero baggage that you seem to have in your mind? Case in point...

moonyham said:
I feel like I've become a magnet for girls with issues. I just want casual fun. Go bowling, get drunk, talk shit and fuck. Something like that is perfect. I don't see why it's so hard to find chill girls who can do this without freaking out after or confiding in me like I'm their psychiatrist.
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Maybe because when they feel comfortable enough with you to open up about something they're struggling with, you immediately give off a vibe like the one you've expressed in this thread - "damn, another nutter! Why am I so unlucky?!"

No disrespect intended to you dude even though it might seem that way. Dating is, in many ways, hard nowadays in ways that it wasn't 7 years ago, probably. Not harder - just different. That probably can seem bewildering and will require some adjustment on your part. That said - we always find it easiest to see in others the faults we most fear in ourselves.
 
Vastness said:
Christ, I hate this question with a passion. Let me simplify things as much as possible to avoid writing a line-by-line assessment of the problem with your attitude.

Everyone has been through shit, plain and simple, including you. Everyone has issues - you clearly have a few. Fuck it, let me delve into this in more detail...

I guarantee they are thinking the same thing about you.

They were themselves just looking to hook up but were not actually into you beyond that.

Why would you ever think that you were able to read people, given what you've already said about your complete surprise that the girls you've met didn't turn out to be the perfect image of a girl with zero baggage that you seem to have in your mind? Case in point...

Maybe because when they feel comfortable enough with you to open up about something they're struggling with, you immediately give off a vibe like the one you've expressed in this thread - "damn, another nutter! Why am I so unlucky?!"

No disrespect intended to you dude even though it might seem that way. Dating is, in many ways, hard nowadays in ways that it wasn't 7 years ago, probably. Not harder - just different. That probably can seem bewildering and will require some adjustment on your part. That said - we always find it easiest to see in others the faults we most fear in ourselves.
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I appreciate the words.

I've ended up just being a lot more particular about girls I engage with and have found actually the biggest thing that helped was changing my bio.

I was probably a bit harsh in how I wrote what I did. You are right. We've all got shit going on. I guess I find I can enjoy a casual relationship and put that stuff to the side/not involve a person in my life quite easily and in the past didn't find too much 'chaff' inbetween seeking what I want and finding it.

I've kind of got into a swing of things and am finding it a lot easier to find girls on the level I'm after. Think it just took a bit more adjusting than I thought it would.
 
I don’t know any woman that would want to go bowling, get drunk, talk shit and have sex.

I do like listening to women tell me about their lives, past joys and traumas, etc. 99%of my dates with women have been just that, ending in incredible sex. I don’t find it emotionally charging or negative in any way to listen, and I share my emotional baggage. For me it is a way of showing vulnerability, which translates perfectly to emotionally open sex. I have only dated on OkCupid and I only meet with women with whom there is delicious fluidity to our chat, because if we can’t talk, we certainly can’t fuck. (Ok definitely have fucked without talking a couple times… oh youth!)
 
You don't, they deal with it. What you see is the result of that, which you treat like any other part of the personality. That's how YOU deal with it...
 
Everyone has shit to deal with some just more then others This doesent make people nuts just different and some are just more open about it then others.
 
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