I used to go to this bar called The Bangkok Lounge. It was a gay bar and and all my friends and customers went there. It was the Studio 54 of my one horse town. One night, I was playing pool, rolling my ass off per usual, when this gorgeous woman walks in and sits at the bar. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She had the kind of body that made you think that there might actually be a god and eyes that could make you forget that you were just diagnosed with cancer minutes beforehand. Maybe it was the romantic in me, most likely the pills in me, but I was in love on sight! I just couldn't stop staring at her. But the amazing thing was, she was staring right at me!
I stood there drooling for what felt like the entire second season of The Walking Dead when she started walking in my direction. She came right up to me, not saying a word, and wrapped her arms around me. I had to pinch my erection to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Her lips were centimeters away from mine. I think. I was never good with the metric system. Then it happened. Her lips met mine and her tongue started raping my every molar, even the hard to reach areas. The friend I was playing pool with just sat back and watched in awe. The pool table was in the corner of the bar and she took full advantage of the blind spot. In a flash, she was on her knees and tracing the outline of my nuclear erection with her teeth.
My eyes rolled in the back of my head so far, I could literally see my cerebellum. Damn, it looked gross. But who cared! I was in a public bar, surrounded by unknowing people, getting the holy ghost drained out of me. It felt like an angel had come down from Heaven, wrapped me in her angelic arms, flew me high into the air, and let me stick it in her butt. An angel's anus must feel so good. That's neither here nor there. After an eternity that didn't last long enough (my friend later told me I lasted about 36 seconds) I exploded deep into her throat, my knees buckling from under me. I swear I lost about 6 lbs that night.
She tucked my penis back into my open fly, zipped me up, wiped her mouth and licked her fingers. Man, I can't wait to introduce her to my parents, I thought. I was already envisioning her and I walking down the isle. She would take my last name...hell, at that point, I would take her last name if she wanted me to. Wait. I had no idea what her name was to begin with. She turned to walk away and I grabbed her shoulder. "I...um...feel" Speak, dammit! My brain was shutting down for the night. "Don't leave!" I desperately spit out. "I don't even know your name." She turned to me, smiled, and spoke in a baritone that would have put Vin Diesel to shame. "It's Frank, sweetie." His name is Frank. His NAME is FRANK! It was the last time I went to the Bangkok Lounge.
No, but for reals, it's from Donnie Darko, as I stated a few pages back.