How dangerous is ego-death?

[the_ketaman]

Ok, ive done more psychedelics and more times than im going to count so lets just say a ton over the past 10 years on and off. Im sure ive experienced ego-death before but im quite confused about what it is and what it means.

Ive done DMT and had out of body experiences. Ive done crazy combos of LSD/MDMA/ketamine/nitrous(the nos adds loads of character the the experience!) etc and plenty of RC's(2c-b/i/e/T-7, 4-aco-DMT)

The reason im asking is id like the start upping my doses of LSD but they will be happening at psychedelic festivals and I trust the people around me but will I be able to handle myself if ego-death approaches? Ive never not been able to handle myself or gone bonkers unless I was 13 and drunk. Please share your opinions because ive heard it cn be good or bad and that some people handle it fine and others done. Im so confused about it all. Technically every time you do nitrous don't you pretty much have ego-death? If it makes a difference I tried acid at 15, im 25 now and back then id take 4 tabs and fry out hard but these days tabs are stronger.

 

[un kle fukka]

there IS ONLY THE FEAR OF PERCIEVED DANGER IN THERE

 

[Hecticus]

If you've never handled it previous what's the use of ego death at a concert or any public setting? Stick with a moderate experience and have a good time. No point rolling the dice.

 

[DETROIT*edm*JUNKIE]

ego-deathing at festivals is generally not a good idea.


if you wanna go full on psychadelic and hit every plateau in the book, you need to turn off your computer, take the batteries out of our cell phone, be in your room, have all good vibes going (favorite music, favorite friends, food, happy things, trip sitter), and let them babysit you. You need a babysitter defiantly.

I've tripped so hard I tried to jump out of a moving vehicle that was going 90mph thinking that I was being transported to hell and the only way to get to heaven was to jump out of the car and kill my soul. We were on our way back home from a festival, point of the story is tripping that HARD is not enjoyable, its MIND SHATTERING and you want to be in a safe environment when you go into the beyond. IDK what kinda doses you do but i've eaten sheets of acid before and the last place I wanna be a few sheets deep is at a festival.


Festivals are good for like molly and ghb and drinking and mild psychadelia like some ketamine or a little mushrooms...

 

[I B Profane]

Yeah I wouldn't attempt ego death at a festival. I've unintentionally experienced that before and it wasn't an experience that I'd recommend.

Be in a safe environment. Ego death isn't physically dangerous, but IME, you won't be the same person going out than you were going in...

 

[manboychef]

Ego death for me was not an enligtening, spiritual, or even remotely okay experience. I would suggest against trying to get here. Like I B Profane stated, you will be forever changed. I had a really hard time coping with reality for about a year after the worst one. Certain triggers from my bad trips cause such panic and distress in me that I become incredibly scared for a while. I never want to revisit those trips.

 

[dopamimetic]

There's really some truth within - it will change you forever, indeed ... if this is good or bad is up to you. For many if not all it will be a deeply disturbing experience the first time(s), kinda like dying and getting reborn. I don't know if there's anything one or others can do to prepare you for crossing this threshold and certainly some don't come back as one piece ... but this is a difficult thing and somehow I think it's different than people think about these 'LSD fried' kids etc.

Biggest problem is around fear / letting go.

I couldn't have imagined in my worst nightmares ever what a human being is able to feel while still staying conscious, but now I know and I wouldn't want to reverse these experiences. Just wished I wasn't alone, that I had some truly trusted friends around me who already know what it's about and all that ... this can make things so much easier (or worse if you have the wrong persons around you, sadly but this is a reality and why I'm doing drugs alone).

Don't know to what extent one can compare the experiences of dissociatives to those on psychedelics, maybe the dissos have this more opiate-like, comfortably cozy warm side to them that makes you more comfortable with all the crazy stuff but they can also be very cold and mechanical if one's slipping into fear. Looking at today, I actually enjoy pushing the limits, but it was a real hard learning process how to just drift and let go ... and now I certainly know that I won't get psychotic so easy. But it could easily have gone the other way.

Maybe this is where you stop being a hedonistic drug user and the spiritual shamanistic universe begins to unveil? It's really a chance to develop.

 

[hangyourhead]

I think that individuals who can mentally handle ego-death can learn from it and be humbled/enlightened by the intensity and spiritual self-reflection, and the only time I could truly learn to meditate. It can have the mental equivalency to a NDE, which is certainly life changing IME/O. I feel as though NDE via dissociatives is far different from traditional psychedelics (e.g. LSD/tryptamines or mescaline). It is much more wonderfully strange and robotic-brain-mindfuck, while the traditional psychedelics (tryptamines and some phenethylamines) are for more earth-shattering and deeply spiritual, though they certainly hold a mindfuck. You are unable to even understand your own language and communication skills at the most intense moments. It can scare somebody off from tripping on psychedelics ever again, esp those exposed to mental illness or anxiety/GAD. I have GAD, but trudging through the anxiety is a learning experience. I no longer have much issues with SAD, I think this is because of ego-death-status trips. I gained an unforgettable knowledge, I felt enlightened, selfless, and humbled.... and mad euphoria once I was cozy.

I was especially humbled by high-dose LSD (reached my most spiritual, most intense trip on HIGH-DOSE tabs x2 with my best friend, we experienced what can only be called spiritual telepathy. I was WDing off IV heroin and buprenorphine and he said he could feel my pain, even physically, we both cried and laughed together, I felt I had reached one of the highest highs, I couldn't remember what slamming dope eve felt like I felt so free from my worldly mental ailments/addictions), N,N-DMT at break-thru doses, IV/insuffL ROA's of MXE (can be hedonistic and create beautiful illusions of grandeur), exotic or potent strains of mushrooms; strains where ~1.7-2g's are capable of ego-loss, enactogenic effects, intense visuals, uncontrollable laughing, the inability to: speak, write, or understand what somebody is saying to you ect. (esp strains e.g. Azurenscens that contain high amounts of the psilocybin alkaloids baeocystin/norbaeocystin; said to be a "gentle hallucinogenic exp." and equivalent in potency to psilocybin. I think higher doses of baeocystin or norbaeocystin can bring on ego-death and the visuals are DMT-esque and mesmerizing. After letting go of my ego, I had a shit-eating grin on my face the whole time and did a lot of soul-searching). If I'm looking for a heavy, drunken, but pleasant body high, I aim to get strains with high Psilocin/4-hydroxy-DMT alkaloid content (I felt the Thai strain was able to provide a perfect amount). In my early experimental years I never realized how close active psilocybin alkaloids (e.g. psilocin) are to DMT, as well as cross-tolerance with mescaline and LSD.

I don't recommend being an unfamiliar environment or festival when trying to exp ego-death. You don't want to be around a lot of people if you're exp a NDE, it could cause panic and make it an awful trip. I recommend dosing for ego-loss with a small group or just one or two close/best friends or by yourself. It will definitely build an unforgettable spiritual bond with those you experienced it with.

 

[manboychef]

Mine was like dying a million ways a second, and I felt and saw it all. NDE to actually dying over and over and over again. Transferring thought processes with others. Being unable to comprehend what human was, and what it was to have a conscious. Profound fear that is inescapable. Thoughts looping over and over again...sinister, extremely evil thoughts.

Ugh. Just be careful.

 

[ddhats]

It would be quite dangerous if there was a fire or something.

 

[dopamimetic]

Mine was like dying a million ways a second, and I felt and saw it all. NDE to actually dying over and over and over again. Transferring thought processes with others. Being unable to comprehend what human was, and what it was to have a conscious. Profound fear that is inescapable. Thoughts looping over and over again...sinister, extremely evil thoughts.

I know this sort of (bad) trip too, have gone through that more than once, but now I know it's not real death and it doesn't happen any more. This origins (probably?) from when you're not prepared or able to let things flow ... or it's just an occurrence of Temporal Lobe Lability, which has been linked to bad trips and all sorts of stuff - no clue.

It would be quite dangerous if there was a fire or something.

Huh?

 

[tussive]

I don't think it necessarily is something that is life changing. It depends on your perspective. Long before I had ever even touched drugs, I viewed the self as an illusion. Being able to experience ego death first hand certainly added some perspective to my view on things, but I came out of it the same person as I went in. The same has been true for the countless times since I've experienced it.

Whether it's something that will affect you negatively or not, I think also depends a great deal on your view on it. And just your general mental state. I don't think there is any inherent danger to it though, no.

 

[Xorkoth]

True, it depends on the individual. For me, I had never really pondered spiritual matters before I had a peak psychedelic experience, I didn't really believe in anything. Then I had an experience where I woke up from physical life and was the oneness... the transition was a bit unnerving but then I let go and it was serene and beautiful as I experienced myself as everything. It definitely changed me, because after having that sort of experience, how could I not be changed from a state where I had never even considered such a thing? I had some trouble sometimes for a couple of years because I was relating to life in a new way, but ultimately it's been a wonderful thing for me in helping me to understand myself better and live more in harmony with things.

 

[maddee2145]

I have never had ego-death too, but one time I was triping hard with my wife in forest we tooked mushroom +dmt combo and damn thats was too much at that time and at that place.

It was just awful my wife was asking me the same question : Who am I? Who are you? Where are we? For fcking 2 hours long. SHe repeated it every 1 or 2 minutes.
You can just imagine and my feelings when I am on +3 when trees become to move with neon green. And everything around became to move and I started to connect with universe )) And this questions coming and coming from my wife again and again. Haha lol true decadance it was...I dont want to be there right now. No way! ))

When she started to understand a little bit near normal she started almost to cry and as she is atheist I asked her to sing fcking mantra. )

From what she able to describe letter next day it was just fcking amazing but very frighfull place.And it was just +4 by scale. It was like a place with no time and everything looked like a web. And to get from one place to another you just need extraordinary power to do that. In fact she have no this power or ability to move between this web and just stacked in some strange loop with no exit.

Later I found something very similar in induistic religion. There are the place where 2 godes making destiny for all beings in sansara. It even was described as described my wife,but she actualy never readed something before the trip.

It seems this places realy excist and while you are not anymore connected to yourself and body you could jump there. It could be realy very intresting experience,but hell too scary for almost everyone.

I think it could be even more frightened experience if you messed up somewhere in festival man ) Try not to scary yourself much when you ego will return back from death ))
And also ego-death not depend from how much you will take man. You can take for example 20 mg 4acodmt and triping with this scale for quiete a long time just perfect and in one day just Boom and you are there! It also very very small opportunity to get there from your first trips.

 

[Kl519]

Indeed. I've only experienced it 3 times out of many hundreds of trips. It's extremely rare. It's one of those experiences where you'll only know it once you reach it, there is no 'maybe I did, or didn't.' Before I got one, I used to think I've had one before, until I actually got one. Then I realized how different the experience actually is; I use to measure my intoxication through the strength of the visuals, but an ego loss is much, much more than that. It's the headspace and the loss of cognitive function which were the hallmarks for me, as well as being completely unable to move or talk at about a percentage of 95% no matter how hard I tried. The obvious comparison to how much it strips away your functions is like being sober, or at a +1/2/3, is at 0% difficulty. So that's how I would know when I'm going to be in ego-loss land (better than Disneyland!)!!

 

[Frost2311]

As people mentioned here before, it really does depends on the individual...

Ego death is like reaching another dimension... Time is no longer there, the inner you is blank, there is nothing, no meaning, no existance, no self, no "I"... you are just there, there is no purpose, no reality, no explaining...

Thats pretty much was my experience of an ego death, and actually it did happen on a festival... I was like a dead man, was supposed to have the best time of my life, but found myself in a car trying to solve and find answers for this ego death, when theres no answers... And that was pretty much the hardest part of ego death, trying to find answers when theres none.

It was a hell of a ride... Definelty life changing, maybe just a little bit for the bad, cause the aftermath was that i developed an anxiety disorder, or maybe it was that ego death showing me my true self... Just like i said, the hardest part is looking for answers, when theres none.

Bottom line is, dont try to reach ego death if you're complete with yourself, cause you will be changed.

 

[Fresnel]

I experienced ego-death, in fact everything death, on high does ketamine (400mg insufflated, no tolerance). Basically all meaning and knowledge was erased. I didn't know I existed, that there were people, or things, didn't know that the world existed, or that there was even a thing called existence. I came out of what was probably a near anaesthetic state to what I now think was pure visual perception, a swirling chaos of raw, unparsed visual data. I didn't know it was perception, or that I was perceiving it. The entirety of the universe was a swirling void which, as far as I was concerned, was both me and everything.

Slowly very basic things returned, a sense that consciousness was continuous and persistent, so with it a very primitive sense of time, which recurred like a deja vu of a deja vu or a deja vu..., etc. The idea, or facility, came that I was experiencing what I perceived, and that such experience might be good or bad; some basic pain/pleasure instinct kicking in perhaps. Later the idea of life and death, that I was alive (though I had know idea of what I was) but wouldn't always be, that I had a lifespan.

Later still I became aware that there was a thing called people, and that I was one of them. Shortly after (perhaps, time was undone) that there was a normal world that I was not in, but did exist, but I didn't know where, or why I was not in it. My friends' names returned before my own. I think the return of the knowledge that I had taken a drug was the kick back to some sense of order and reality. Shortly after I realised I was in a physical space (my living room), and out of the k-hole.

Quite where my ego died and when it returned I'm not sure; the sense of self was a slow build from a primitive perceiving, through a thing that could separate that which perceives from that which is being perceived, to a sense of enduring one's own existence, then knowledge of oneself as one of many beings of the same type, etc.

Dangers? Even though the trip was not scary (or pleasurable, just neutral), afterwards I felt like I had taken a serious psychological beating, though a recoverable one. A week's derealisation and some hypnogogic flashbacks and back to baseline psychology after that, but I think that something profound has been learned, and some space created where the world is known as it was within the k-hole.

 

[Bigfeely123]

It is only dangerous if you fight it. Or fight what you think is yourself literally dying. If you fight it hard enough you can go into a fight or flight mode and potentially trash your house or scare the fuck out of anyone that sees you in this state. Be very careful. If you're looking to experiment with high doses of psychedelics it's a very wise decision to have some Xanax or other benzos on hand just incase shit gets too heavy. Be careful.

 

[Toltec]

I feel that is a reason some folks think there having a bad trip... Losing who you are; fighting to come back to your perceived norm... this certainly can be a trial for those who are new to psychedelics ... I do find that in every batch you have to test the strength..

I think that is the point of psychedelics, is to get to ego loss/death... letting go and floating on down stream...

 

[HUSKTON]

For me, never could I picture that in public. even if you are really comfortable around tons of strangers, it seems risky. when the shift occurs your most urgent feelings could be telling you to leave. you may not want to be there, and if that is the case you are going to regret it. do anything you like for real !,.....but you might desire a controlled environment when you lose control of your behavior.(to some degree if you know what I mean) be somewhere you can let it all hang out. like all the way out, like said above, you as a person will change. enjoy yourself always and be safe.