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How can I get over my wife doing this???

B

bkeys82

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
4
Well this happened toward the end of last year, anyways My wife had a threesome with one of my best friends and my younger brother, and I didn't even know about it till the end of June. I talked to my brother and I asked him when were you guys gonna tell me this and he said that I wasn't supposed to find out, she waited a whole summer to tell me about this because at that time she wanted to have a threesome with me and another guy and I kept saying NO, so she went off and did her own thing,its been 3 or so months now since she told me this and it still kills me inside I try to forget it but it wont go away she says she regrets ever doing and she was just experimenting I'm just wondering what can help me get over this?? I also told her that if she ever cheated on me again that we were through
 
If you want to truly get over it and save your marriage then I would advise going to couples therapy. Trying to find a way to heal on your own may prove to be impossible. I give you a lot of credit wanting to stay with her. I don't think that I could ever stay with someone who had sex with my sibling. Good luck.
 
LilbabiC said:
If you want to truly get over it and save your marriage then I would advise going to couples therapy. Trying to find a way to heal on your own may prove to be impossible. I give you a lot of credit wanting to stay with her. I don't think that I could ever stay with someone who had sex with my sibling. Good luck.
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Yes same here, I don't think I can stay with my partner after this kind of betrayal. This is betrayal at its finest.
 
That must a be a truly horrible feeling, I really can't even imagine. Wanting to experiment and have a threesome is one thing, which even that for some guys would kind be a blow to their self-esteem....The thought, "My dick's not good enough for you" would enter into a lot of guys' minds, even if the fantasy has nothing to do with their shortcomings...Also, being naked and engaging in sex with another man present, even if there's no contact is more than a lot of heterosexuals are comfortable with...I think in some ways, consenting to a threesome is harder for men to wrap their brain around than women...

All that aside, the fact that she put her selfish sexual desires ahead of her marriage and the person she committed to just makes her a complete slut....Sorry if people don't like that word. I don't judge people for their sexuality, but if you're to the point that you have that little control over yourself that you betray someone like that...She's a bad person...As painful as it is, I'd divorce her. Legally, you'd end up with everything in a case like this, and that's exactly what she deserves...to be out on the street alone with time to reflect on what she's done. There's people doing life in prison for things that aren't a fraction as immoral as this situation.
 
Counseling is an option, but man, that's a HARD one.

Cheating is bad. But with your best bud AND your brother!? Fuck man... Sometimes things happen for a reason, and the reason in this case may be to show you this wasn't meant to be. I know it hurts, but I would think long and hard about this one. You know her better than I, but the chance of her cheating again seems reasonably high if she was ok to straight up sleep with your best friend and brother....Then not even feel bad enough to tell you right away.

You have every right to be hurt, I couldn't even imagine how fucked that has to feel. Best of luck with this situation, bro.
 
Oh, you poor dear. I cannot even imagine the betrayal and hurt. You are a better person than me because no matter what I could not get over this. I can't think of a worse thing (as far as cheating goes) than this. How long have you guys been together? Do you have children? Has she ever cheated before that you know of? How was your relationship before this..were you completely caught off guard?

I agree that marriage counseling is definitely a must. I feel terrible for you. I h ope the questions aren't more than you feel comfortable being asked and if so please forgive me. I think those things come into play before I could know what I would advise a friend to do. But in the end, it is still what it is..and there are some things love and trust cannot endure in my world.
 
trolololol

It would seem that most BL users have never been very good at detecting trolls
 
missmeyet? said:
Oh, you poor dear. I cannot even imagine the betrayal and hurt. You are a better person than me because no matter what I could not get over this. I can't think of a worse thing (as far as cheating goes) than this. How long have you guys been together? Do you have children? Has she ever cheated before that you know of? How was your relationship before this..were you completely caught off guard?

I agree that marriage counseling is definitely a must. I feel terrible for you. I h ope the questions aren't more than you feel comfortable being asked and if so please forgive me. I think those things come into play before I could know what I would advise a friend to do. But in the end, it is still what it is..and there are some things love and trust cannot endure in my world.
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We have been married for 3 years and with one daughter. Our relationship has always been pretty steady wih no real problems...except for this one.
 
Does she have a sister? Just offer to shag her once and call it even. Or her brother if you only get one leave pass.
 
LuGoJ said:
trolololol

It would seem that most BL users have never been very good at detecting trolls
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does seem a little too similar...

anyway op if she has cheated once then it'll probably happen again for the precedent has been set. plus she wanted to shag you with another guy involved. sounds like she wants to bang other men

but you have a kid. tough choice.

what do you want?
 
bkeys82 said:
We have been married for 3 years and with one daughter. Our relationship has always been pretty steady wih no real problems...except for this one.
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I was going to say ask for a divorce until you mentioned the daughter. I'm guessing she's fairly young? A kid changes everything really. Marriage counseling is the only thing I could suggest at this point.
 
Llama is right OP counselling is a good option. If you really can't accept it at this time or it is affecting your feelings and your way of thinking maybe you can take some time away from each other to think things through. If your love is stronger then your relationship will continue and become stronger as well. If there really is no way you can forget or forgive her as to what happened you should end it and move on. Trust is something that is very hard to earn back once it's broken.
 
LilbabiC said:
If you want to truly get over it and save your marriage then I would advise going to couples therapy. Trying to find a way to heal on your own may prove to be impossible. I give you a lot of credit wanting to stay with her. I don't think that I could ever stay with someone who had sex with my sibling. Good luck.
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+1.
 
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