How can I enjoy weed again?

[TheGoatKing]

I started to smoke weed in February 2014 to November 2014. I absolutely loved it. It was the best feeling in the world. On November 28th, 2014, I had a severe nervous breakdown because I was depressed for about 5 years, had a lot of stress in my life and worried about a lot of things. Everything came down on me all at once. I got extremely paranoid to the point that I thought people were trying to kill me. My mind just blew up. I thought the cartel and other gangs were after me. This paranoia ended up sending me into a mental hospital for four days. Long story short, I was extremely fucking paranoid because I had a nervous breakdown and I also am bipolar 1. Bipolar makes you paranoid too. I now take medicine for bipolar disorder.
The other day I smoked this indica dominant strain called Passion Kush for the first time in over 6 months. I smoked a snap and I didn't feel anything. Then I smoked a big bowl of it and the high hit me all at once. For about 4 hours I was high off my ass. I didn't enjoy it though. I was paranoid about my Mom finding because my parents are really strict about weed and I was paranoid about the cops finding out. I thought about my nervous breakdown a lot. When I was high, I thought this dog was going to attack me. I was paranoid about people walking by, noticing I was high. I didn't think they were going to attack me like I did 6 months ago. I was sitting in my friends car and I was looking at the cars driving by. 6 months ago I thought cars were after me. I was psychotic 6 months ago. Basically I had thoughts of the horrible thoughts that I had over 6 months ago.
I also suffer really bad from anxiety and I thought the weed would help my anxiety but it made it worse. I was paranoid and anxious the whole time. I should add that I am not really in the best place in my life. I'm 22 trying to figure out life, worrying about work and school and worrying about my future. I'm also going through therapy with one psychiatrist and two psychologists to recover from my breakdown and become happy again.
What should I do to enjoy weed again? Is it because I am still recovering from a nervous breakdown? Is it because I am not in a good setting in my life? I need advice. Thanks guys. I used to love weed and it makes me so depressed that I had a negative effect from it the other day.

 

[marley g]

 

[PotatoMan]

Sometimes weed can send you off on a "bad-trip". Just take a break for a bit and then start with small hits again and see how it affects you. I seldomly get very negative effects from weed but I just tell myself it's the drug and sleep it off.

 

[speedballs_over]

You likely will ignore this sage advice or you're over 25 and still living at home (nothing wrong with that), but the "Mom" part caught my eye.

Your mom? How old are you? If you're under 25, there's a decently probability of kicking off or worsening mental conditions that tend to emerge b/w the ages of 18 - 25, like say schizophrenia, paranoid delusions, and the other types of things you describe - if you are predisposed to such illness (family history can tell you a lot, but not everything.) If you have a mentally ill close relative be very, very careful what you put in your body until your brain is fully developed and even after that, be wary since you've had these issues already!

The science is not in on cannabis and the young brain, and won't be until we're a lot older. That fact aside, there are more than enough case histories where the above has occurred. Permanent fucking damage that may not have otherwise occurred, we do not know for certain. What we do now is there is a well known correlation b/w the emergence of mental illness and consuming cannabis b/f the brain is fully developed.

If you're under 25, the best advice to reduce harm is to lay off the weed until your mental situation stabilizes and you're old enough to know your brain is fully developed - say about age 25. Have I drilled that number yet? 25 yrs old.

If your friends can't handle the fact that you want to be sane as an adult then they are not your friends and/or are too immature to be of use to your situation. Forget what they say, it's not their brain they're fucking with, is it?

Why do so many minors (<18 - 21) who have a million and one other things to be doing to occupy their time and have fun instead use cannabis knowing full well it may cause severe problems right then and there or down the road? Boredom? Too much money? Too little/too much parental involvement? IdFk.

For christ's sake leave the weed for until you sort out your mental/emotional issues and don't have to worry about Mommy anymore... Seriously, you have a long life to live, you may be fucking it up badly.

 

[poledriver]

They stated they are 22.

My advice is try and stay away from weed until you have your mental health in order. It can make a person paranoid and over think things like you explained. How about trying to focus on getting your own space in the next few years, with friends or alone and then if you feel strong enough mentally try small amounts of weed. Weed can be so strong these days so take it easy, especially when you have no tolerance and are on other drugs for your anxiety and stuff.

Good luck.

 

[justforfun1]

Dude marijuana is a very tame intoxicant, its a shame it effects you so badly.

If you have any sort of mental instability you should banish recreational drug use.

drugs are a rational response to sanity, and vice versa.

 

[BJCS333]

Dude isnt it obvious u cant be smoking where ur not allowed and worrying about being caught ie your mums place if ur smoking again for the first time why not just chill take it slow with a nice thin jay roll two just in case one ain't enough 0.2 of the super 10/10 haze can personally get me lit but depends but put no the headphones be somewhere comfortable and take some blissful drags. Only you will be able to come up with the decisive answer to your question Op