Benzos How badly did I screw up my taper?(Ativan)

[FlawedByDesign]

Long story short I had someone helping me taper off rc-benzos with their Ativan. That person experienced total brain death in their sleep sometime Sunday morning(her birthday) most likely due to a prescribed dose of oxy combined with a bad case of sleep apnea(sorry for the sob story, on to the details...). I had been stabilized at 1.5mgs for at least two weeks. During the 3 days my relative was hooked up to a ventilator l only took .5mgs a day and had planned to tough the rest out and hope for the best. Turns out her boyfriend was thinking about me and saved back like 15mgs. I took it pretty hard when we finally pulled the plug today and dosed 4mgs throughout the day. How bad is this going to set me back? Am I able to drop down to 1mg tomorrow without the risk of a seizure? Or do I need to do something like 3mg tomorrow, 2 the next and then 1mg? I figure the risk of a seizure should be low but need to make sure as I almost died from a grand mal last summer when I tried to drop off of 3mgs. That one terrible seizure seems to have lowered my threshold in general. Thanks for any help.

 

[Sertürner]

How long have you been taking benzos daily?

 

[FlawedByDesign]

On and off for years but this time around probably about four months. I started with a gram of both etizolam and diclazepam, ran through both grams like a dumb ass and then was bailed out with my relative?s ativan. Started at 4mgs and did a super slow taper and was stabilized at 1.5mgs for two weeks. During the weekend when I wasn?t expecting to get more I took .5mgs a day for 3 days and it was surprisingly easy(though I did supplement with phenibut). I?m just hoping one day at 4mgs didn?t set me back too far. Think I am going to take 2mg tomorrow, 1.5 the next and then try to stabilize at 1mg for a week. Hopefully this will be do-able.

 

[aihfl]

Consult the Ashton Manual. It is considered authoritative for coming off benzos. And don't wing it by taking benzos that weren't prescribed for you or by using RCs. Do it under the supervision of a physician. Benzo WD can be life threatening.

 

[FlawedByDesign]

Lol^ I appreciate the advice but in my parts when you go to the hospital for a benzo addiction they basically tell you to come back after you have a seizure. Then when you come back with eyes full of broken capillaries and busted blood vessels all over your face they give you some fluids to get your lactic acid levels down and maybe a shot of ativan and send you on your way. Your suggestion is basically a pipe dream around my parts. Was hoping to get some feedback on my actual situation but thanks for the template HR promoting response(not being sarcastic, I do appreciate it)

 

[aihfl]

I'm not telling you to go to a hospital, I'm telling you should do it under a doctor's supervision. Doctors don't just work in hospitals last I checked. But hey, if you want to put your life in your own hands who am I stop you?

 

[FlawedByDesign]

Lol Buddy I have been rejected by the doctors in my area. It is simply not an option. That’s not even considering the fact that I have no insurance so if one of the handful of doctors in my rural area would magically change their mind(they won’t) I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I must say I really don’t appreciate the snarky attitude (from a fucking mod no less). But hey, thanks for the help(I suppose?).

 

[Sertürner]

I'm not too sure on the conversions for RC benzos to traditional ones. But I would find a dose of Ativan that gets you completely out of withdrawal and then titrate down from there every 2-3 days. Dropping .25-.5mg every time. If you feel that you are dropping too fast then titrate slower. It might take a few weeks but it should help avoid those bad WD symptoms.

 

[freesolo123]

When I tapered on clonazepam I slipped a few times binge drinking followed by a few days at double the dose to cope with the hangover, I't didn't set me back that far more felt mentally like a idiot for not following the taper.

Also found the higher the dose the easier it was to bounce back from a blip, when I was at the end of my taper I couldn't afford to slip up.

Thats my experience don't know if it helps

 

[Sertürner]

^ I agree. This situation happened to me with opiates. When I was down to .125mg of suboxone a day ended up wanting to get high and IVing 2mg. I practically had to start all over from the 2mg mark. IME, the closer you are to jumping off, the worse you will be if you start up again or use larger doses.

 

[FlawedByDesign]

^Thank you both for the thoughtful, helpful responses. I think the duration of the slip up makes a big difference. Since I was only at 4mgs for one day it doesn’t seem to have done much damage. I comfortably stayed at 2mgs today and plan to take 1.5 for the next two days. After that I will probably do 1mg for 5 days and then .5 until I use up my stash. Thanks again guys, if anything the support definitely put me in a better place.

 

[Sertürner]

No problem that's why we are here! HR nerds! ?

 

[Prescottdave]

This should be done under medical supervision. America is notorious for over prescribing both benzos and opioids. If you work hard enough you might just find a doctor who is willing to help and hopefully transition you onto a long acting benzodiazepine. In the southwest there are plenty of hospitals that will give you a librium taper if you come in experiencing actual acute WD symptoms.

What will help even further is if you have a follow up plan with a medical provider who can provide substance abuse treatment. Show the hospital that you called and made an appointment at your local mental health provider to try and taper off.

I encourage you to find the right type of professional help due to your history of RC benzo use. RC benzo use can be serious as you already know due to the ability to escalate your dose for extended periods of time due to the price. Heck if you can obtain diclazepam or any other RC benzo you may be able to work on getting health insurance. Still it can be hard for some people to get insurance due to making just above a certain amount of money while still not being able to pay for the monthly costs. Maybe a clinic outside of your area could provide services on a sliding scale. There are options outside of the black or gray market.

 

[opioidsoveragain]

Im in no means a pro but i cant see how one days slip will negatively affect your taper in such a way that you increasing your chances of a seizure. Back in the day and this was along time ago. i Was addicted badly to any benzo i could get my hands on. My psychiatrist weaned me down with diazepam where i also had a slip up so to speak in between but still carried on with my normally tapering regime and i had no ill or side affect so to speak of, hope this helps.