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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

How are you in one word vs. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

^It's temporary, Dixie.<3 Don't give up.


me: frustrated. Woke up at 5am thinking I would get Bluelight duties taken care of before coming to the hospital for the day. No internet! Aaargh. So here I am in the waiting room, using Stanford's wireless. Got a long PM written and then got randomly logged out and lost half of it.
 
ya i have trouble writing long messages on my phone. plus it autocapitalises the first word of each sentence and that worries me for some reason. its terrible losing things you have put down though. sometimes the program i use to make music crashes after i have synthesised a sound i am happy with, then its back to the drawing board :p

im content

i had a gd 1hr 30min talk with my counsellor and it was just really amazing to be in another beings presence who isn't very caught up in ego and is as fascinated by life as i am. a real mirror for me to engage with.
 
Thanks, Herby! My ANALytical self says otherwise, and can provide evidence of such! :!

I admire your strength in the face of adversity. (I just recently read of the loss of your dear son) Your strength and perseverance to stand strong and support others is amazing.

I wrote a LONG POST on that grief thread to convey my empathy to all who go there, but POOF! I lost the whole post. I thought I had finally figured this thing out, as someone suggested "clicking" remember me when logging in. I did great for a couple of posts, but quickly digressed to losing posts again. I know...I talk/type too much.

As for the "defeated"...Yep, I feel myself giving up after probably 40 years of intense physical pain and emotional suffering. I'm a tough old bird, but chicken shit scared of treating this pain. My husband of 35 years says just last night..."Is there a doctor ANYWHERE that we can see to help you?" The answer is basically NO (see intro post).

I awake every day wishing I hadn't. I busy myself with career and family responsibilities, but there is nothing left for me. I look forward to nights so that I can take my sleep med and finally escape this torture. I cheer myself through another day by telling myself I can take the exit at will. I do not fear death. I no longer want to fight this fight.
 
DixiChik said:
Thanks, Herby! My ANALytical self says otherwise, and can provide evidence of such! :!

I admire your strength in the face of adversity. (I just recently read of the loss of your dear son) Your strength and perseverance to stand strong and support others is amazing.

I wrote a LONG POST on that grief thread to convey my empathy to all who go there, but POOF! I lost the whole post. I thought I had finally figured this thing out, as someone suggested "clicking" remember me when logging in. I did great for a couple of posts, but quickly digressed to losing posts again. I know...I talk/type too much.

As for the "defeated"...Yep, I feel myself giving up after probably 40 years of intense physical pain and emotional suffering. I'm a tough old bird, but chicken shit scared of treating this pain. My husband of 35 years says just last night..."Is there a doctor ANYWHERE that we can see to help you?" The answer is basically NO (see intro post).

I awake every day wishing I hadn't. I busy myself with career and family responsibilities, but there is nothing left for me. I look forward to nights so that I can take my sleep med and finally escape this torture. I cheer myself through another day by telling myself I can take the exit at will. I do not fear death. I no longer want to fight this fight.
Click to expand...

I´m truly sorry to hear that as I´ve tried to exit but it only made things worse.
There are no guarantees. Besides, who knows what´s on the other side.
I have probably missed some of your messages, but wonder why you´re suffering that much.
I hope BL gives you the strength or the space you need to feel just a little better.
People like Herbavore has helped a lot of people and it´s always good to have some place where you can just unload a small part of our issues.
I hope you feel better and that time will comfort you.
 
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