Fourofakind
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2022
- Messages
- 59
Well, english is not my native language, im from México (Durango, i know no one have heard about this non important city lol, but maybe Sinaloa is a better refference, they are our neighbours, brothers, and the drug related process at "Sierra Madre Occidental" in our territory have historical relationship becouse we are providing drugs worldwide massively, right now are bigger cities like Guadalajara and big disperse territories very big ones just dedicated to produce illegal drugs and as household of the workers at that area, im talking about a lot of complete cities livling from the drug elaboration and commerce (mainly with US), its okay for me, and interestingly peculiar, even with the elitism and narcoestate created nowadays, i feel alwas was a good option to have USA as drug buyer (mainly, but we sell the drugs to any ask for them and offer a nice money ammount, people from wolrdide and local people too, IM NOT A "NARCO" lol, im talking about how the city where im from, in the "Triangulo Dorado (https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triángulo_dorado)", i lived most of my life here at the "capital" from my state, but certainly every aspect of drug selling (not using, using is even seen worse than other places becouse our conservative local society) is very normalized, at this year the points of drug selling are around 200 in the city, and anyone interested in any drug knows where arre them all, most have Fruit Cocktail slots (i love gamble a little and that game is fun and nice low-variance, if you dont have the complete money to buy your shit you can gamble anyway and its very common you get a little higher point when you started when gambling low-variange games with 95% RTP hahaha, and every gambling public machine its supposed to be illegal to work without federal authorizaton, the casinos have them, the narcos doesnt need a sht of them and anyone can play in cash and smoke weed when doing it, in almost every main street of the city exist one of this "points" with 4-6 motorcycles outside, 1-2 4x4 trucks, fruit cocktail, and drugs 
).
Ah, i public this at The Dark side becouse its where im not 99% of time at BL, cuz the same reason we visit this unique and valuable subforum in the internet, i ended having problems becouse my miseducation and then the habits formed from drug extreme abuse, im still a daily meth, weed,benzo, 3 days per week alc., cigars, and 3 days per week modafinil/sertraline dependant, well.. thats nothing, i was a severe polydrug and alcoholic for almost half or my life and that caused a variety of problems and a lack of rationality and meaning or propouse in my way to live, i really enjoyed and fucked my life, im ok now with that,2 years ago i get out from my most hardcore abuse 2 years (mainly alcohol meth, benzos and tramadol, all daily, rarely skipping one day cuz will be a complete shit of feeling just to go buy drugs if i wake up withdrawals, so i can sleep, and literally most days sleep with the meth pipe at mi side, a ton of times i got it broke but idgaf, i now respect my sleep and after abuse of my body with lack of sleep just one day i automatically started to get extremely somnolence even at the highest high grade meth doses, its not a lie... most of days when i end with my work (i have a local business that gives me a good ammount of money thanks god, its very demanding, but i love it, becouse i know whats to be unemployed for years, a very bad feeling for me, and be employed its even impossible, and i had varios business with different people that grown very good, becouse some reason, mainly cuz i had at some point very deep emotional relationship with my main associate (girl ofcourse XD) and we both, specially me developed "toxic" behaivours and we passed from the best to the lack of peace, and we cant do that... and we cant continue that business without the other, will end in a vicious cycle for yrs), thankfully the 2 girls im talking about was more aware than me about their own wellbeing at that moment, and one ended as systems engineer and other one is a very talented,well nothing special any of both, but are talented and have future, just a little over media, like me, enough to have a well economycal and general lifestyle, something hard in my country where poores is extremely common, and a lot of people cant ever dream with a car or own house cuz the salary is a shit everywhere, be a professional graduated was a lifesaver before, but nowadays nah, nowadays its about skills, with the lack of skills even if you come from a rich family the richness is relative, becouse most of we are poor people dividing us on social classes, but ye, economically we have so much diferences cuz the sad laboral situation of Mexico, my sister didnt found a job after being working years at Uruguay in that charge and studied with excellence postgrades at Brazill, she worked in dozens of medical scientific investigations with her name at pubmed and was SNI at the Conacyt (national council of science and technology), never asked for a politic place in this world, but she asked for a place in the local most important public university of my little city and she was humillating rejected, this can sound like a fucking movie, but a scumbag, who was her superior at the Uruguay university commonly travels worldwide, including Mexcio, and have relationships with groups of power in the shitty narcostupidstate we live, and he said in his own words "stay here (Uruguay, if u go back to Mexico u will even didnt find a job..., she want to be with their family and came back after few yrs of work with he, now, surprise, effectively she was unemployed and depressed, BECOUSE THAT PERSON ASKED TO IGNORE HER TO IMPORTANT MEXICAN UNIVERSITY DIRECTORS, what a piece of shit... you can hear her in the womens day, talking a reflection about this in our society, just few days before the suicide, her last words in the diputee chamber, we can add to the mexican state another adjective, narcoelitistmisoginstupidstate, yes is not near democracy, and democracy is shit too. She was baking keto diet bread and doing a lot of money cuz she was very good in everything she wasoffering, and tons of ppl loved her and she got instantany "famous" or some like that, so her keto products brand growed insanely and funny hyperfast, i know cuz i have done my own business from zero too, i know how important is for her to offer something ofquality to other ones, im very miseducated in that way, and my motivation is the money, my anxiety and my problem is always money, she naturally had much more money that she needed anyways, but was so sad
God, im the most divague person here, im high everytime im here, specially high, you know how that changes your way to express your feelings or thinkings.
Anyway, I have been a alcohol and polydrug user and abuser when was possible since 14-15, im double of that age rn. Its something hard to write, i felt a peacefully nostalgia 30 mins ago, thinking playing and thinking about you know... my sister, a public federal govt dipute very known, intelligetn, honest, and extremely admirated person suicided in february... near her and my mother birthdays, god, im back with my dads living and that day asked my bro to come with me, they have a nice big house, where we growed together, back in our rooms, i was mainly scared about my fathers doing "something".... suicide too?, my dad is extremely narcisist person, my mother of coure have been very sumissive but have developed narcissive-like behaivours even when she es extremely emphatic and lovely and a extreme love of person just becouse she is very nice, she suffered of course from my father, but i guess we acept to suffer that circunstances becouse in the balance the benefits are higher, they growed economically incredible and their first daughter, was since child, me too, just giving excellence results in school, i stopped around 12-13, and have completed studies until biochemical engineer, i didnt complete my university, i entered few other ones.... for few weeks then i will no be back again, ahyway, i love to study, but not the school at that time, well. she have post grades at 2nd best especiality-related university in center-south america at Brasil, and worked in the most important school and science center related to her medical speciality, when she come back to Mexico,damn i need to explain how the estate, particulary elitist and narco balls sucker works since Mayo Zambada around the 80s was the one who decided the price of LALA MILK (the milk brand that sell idk aruond 65% of milk we drink), that extreme power over the law is damaging your education, culture and wellbeing, we are destroying ourselves in a slow sutile way letting us stuck in conformism, and we are forgetting the importance of what always have gaves us the power to have wellbeing, to be respected and respect the other ones... to have good feelings to others and to oneself. Well, im not saying we are demons, certainly we are sitll very good people, but every day we are much less and thats a characteristic of my people that always have been as a base and support to all of us and grow in any hard situation with not so much resources.
I will apologize, but if this thread must be posted at other subforum move it, i will thank you, i trust mods are aware and will know what to do in this case, not me.
And apologize twice becouse i need to print and cut tons of agrochemical bottle stickers right now or i will be sleeping and trying to end my work at 5 am in a dangerous machine of cut, so i preffer to be at computer or bed at that time, meth cant help a shit and im happy about that, when i got narcoleptic-like and healthly symptoms, i sleep daily and after years of deprivation, i found my main cause of depression, lack of energy and hopeless life feeling, was cuz i was sleeping like a dumb, its incredible how my body starting shutting down automatically without any med after years... or maybe i will ending with severe mental/physical disorders, i was hitting in my head the first times my body was shutting down automatically, its like being super mega sedated when is less expected, even i forgot the moment sometimes, but if i continued to sleep less than 5-8 . hrs every day, i will never get out of misery im sure.
So do your shit safe and dont forget to sleep, food, work, be gentle, and try to show your love to your people, they love you too.
Cheers!, i will continue divaguing another night and continue the thread no matters if no one read it i understand u lol, there are more interesting things over internet.
Bless for you all, and dont forget to be realist in general, i use and i see ppl everywhere maximizing and minimizing aspect that in we trust and deposit our energy, without reasons or results, the drugs arent so bad, the ppl arent so bad, the world is not so fucked, and even is not a well place to live and myself generally maybe would opt for never have been born if was possible, but im here and thats what i have, and being a coward and cry about the reality just put me in misery and desesperation, no one of us need to get at that point to give the real value to all we have.
Adios amigossss ahi me disculpan por el mal ingles lol
).Ah, i public this at The Dark side becouse its where im not 99% of time at BL, cuz the same reason we visit this unique and valuable subforum in the internet, i ended having problems becouse my miseducation and then the habits formed from drug extreme abuse, im still a daily meth, weed,benzo, 3 days per week alc., cigars, and 3 days per week modafinil/sertraline dependant, well.. thats nothing, i was a severe polydrug and alcoholic for almost half or my life and that caused a variety of problems and a lack of rationality and meaning or propouse in my way to live, i really enjoyed and fucked my life, im ok now with that,2 years ago i get out from my most hardcore abuse 2 years (mainly alcohol meth, benzos and tramadol, all daily, rarely skipping one day cuz will be a complete shit of feeling just to go buy drugs if i wake up withdrawals, so i can sleep, and literally most days sleep with the meth pipe at mi side, a ton of times i got it broke but idgaf, i now respect my sleep and after abuse of my body with lack of sleep just one day i automatically started to get extremely somnolence even at the highest high grade meth doses, its not a lie... most of days when i end with my work (i have a local business that gives me a good ammount of money thanks god, its very demanding, but i love it, becouse i know whats to be unemployed for years, a very bad feeling for me, and be employed its even impossible, and i had varios business with different people that grown very good, becouse some reason, mainly cuz i had at some point very deep emotional relationship with my main associate (girl ofcourse XD) and we both, specially me developed "toxic" behaivours and we passed from the best to the lack of peace, and we cant do that... and we cant continue that business without the other, will end in a vicious cycle for yrs), thankfully the 2 girls im talking about was more aware than me about their own wellbeing at that moment, and one ended as systems engineer and other one is a very talented,well nothing special any of both, but are talented and have future, just a little over media, like me, enough to have a well economycal and general lifestyle, something hard in my country where poores is extremely common, and a lot of people cant ever dream with a car or own house cuz the salary is a shit everywhere, be a professional graduated was a lifesaver before, but nowadays nah, nowadays its about skills, with the lack of skills even if you come from a rich family the richness is relative, becouse most of we are poor people dividing us on social classes, but ye, economically we have so much diferences cuz the sad laboral situation of Mexico, my sister didnt found a job after being working years at Uruguay in that charge and studied with excellence postgrades at Brazill, she worked in dozens of medical scientific investigations with her name at pubmed and was SNI at the Conacyt (national council of science and technology), never asked for a politic place in this world, but she asked for a place in the local most important public university of my little city and she was humillating rejected, this can sound like a fucking movie, but a scumbag, who was her superior at the Uruguay university commonly travels worldwide, including Mexcio, and have relationships with groups of power in the shitty narcostupidstate we live, and he said in his own words "stay here (Uruguay, if u go back to Mexico u will even didnt find a job..., she want to be with their family and came back after few yrs of work with he, now, surprise, effectively she was unemployed and depressed, BECOUSE THAT PERSON ASKED TO IGNORE HER TO IMPORTANT MEXICAN UNIVERSITY DIRECTORS, what a piece of shit... you can hear her in the womens day, talking a reflection about this in our society, just few days before the suicide, her last words in the diputee chamber, we can add to the mexican state another adjective, narcoelitistmisoginstupidstate, yes is not near democracy, and democracy is shit too. She was baking keto diet bread and doing a lot of money cuz she was very good in everything she wasoffering, and tons of ppl loved her and she got instantany "famous" or some like that, so her keto products brand growed insanely and funny hyperfast, i know cuz i have done my own business from zero too, i know how important is for her to offer something ofquality to other ones, im very miseducated in that way, and my motivation is the money, my anxiety and my problem is always money, she naturally had much more money that she needed anyways, but was so sad
God, im the most divague person here, im high everytime im here, specially high, you know how that changes your way to express your feelings or thinkings.
Anyway, I have been a alcohol and polydrug user and abuser when was possible since 14-15, im double of that age rn. Its something hard to write, i felt a peacefully nostalgia 30 mins ago, thinking playing and thinking about you know... my sister, a public federal govt dipute very known, intelligetn, honest, and extremely admirated person suicided in february... near her and my mother birthdays, god, im back with my dads living and that day asked my bro to come with me, they have a nice big house, where we growed together, back in our rooms, i was mainly scared about my fathers doing "something".... suicide too?, my dad is extremely narcisist person, my mother of coure have been very sumissive but have developed narcissive-like behaivours even when she es extremely emphatic and lovely and a extreme love of person just becouse she is very nice, she suffered of course from my father, but i guess we acept to suffer that circunstances becouse in the balance the benefits are higher, they growed economically incredible and their first daughter, was since child, me too, just giving excellence results in school, i stopped around 12-13, and have completed studies until biochemical engineer, i didnt complete my university, i entered few other ones.... for few weeks then i will no be back again, ahyway, i love to study, but not the school at that time, well. she have post grades at 2nd best especiality-related university in center-south america at Brasil, and worked in the most important school and science center related to her medical speciality, when she come back to Mexico,damn i need to explain how the estate, particulary elitist and narco balls sucker works since Mayo Zambada around the 80s was the one who decided the price of LALA MILK (the milk brand that sell idk aruond 65% of milk we drink), that extreme power over the law is damaging your education, culture and wellbeing, we are destroying ourselves in a slow sutile way letting us stuck in conformism, and we are forgetting the importance of what always have gaves us the power to have wellbeing, to be respected and respect the other ones... to have good feelings to others and to oneself. Well, im not saying we are demons, certainly we are sitll very good people, but every day we are much less and thats a characteristic of my people that always have been as a base and support to all of us and grow in any hard situation with not so much resources.
I will apologize, but if this thread must be posted at other subforum move it, i will thank you, i trust mods are aware and will know what to do in this case, not me.
And apologize twice becouse i need to print and cut tons of agrochemical bottle stickers right now or i will be sleeping and trying to end my work at 5 am in a dangerous machine of cut, so i preffer to be at computer or bed at that time, meth cant help a shit and im happy about that, when i got narcoleptic-like and healthly symptoms, i sleep daily and after years of deprivation, i found my main cause of depression, lack of energy and hopeless life feeling, was cuz i was sleeping like a dumb, its incredible how my body starting shutting down automatically without any med after years... or maybe i will ending with severe mental/physical disorders, i was hitting in my head the first times my body was shutting down automatically, its like being super mega sedated when is less expected, even i forgot the moment sometimes, but if i continued to sleep less than 5-8 . hrs every day, i will never get out of misery im sure.
So do your shit safe and dont forget to sleep, food, work, be gentle, and try to show your love to your people, they love you too.
Cheers!, i will continue divaguing another night and continue the thread no matters if no one read it i understand u lol, there are more interesting things over internet
.Bless for you all, and dont forget to be realist in general, i use and i see ppl everywhere maximizing and minimizing aspect that in we trust and deposit our energy, without reasons or results, the drugs arent so bad, the ppl arent so bad, the world is not so fucked, and even is not a well place to live and myself generally maybe would opt for never have been born if was possible, but im here and thats what i have, and being a coward and cry about the reality just put me in misery and desesperation, no one of us need to get at that point to give the real value to all we have.
Adios amigossss
ahi me disculpan por el mal ingles lol
