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Heroin recovery

Fuck the haters Bright_Star*, hold your head up high. Have you been doing anything fun at home or elsewhere to keep your spirits up?

Cornucopia said:
You're doing great, just because these stupid idiots are trying to put you down, honey you need to know that you're stronger than them. They make you feel "weak", and "cowardly", but you are stronger than they will ever be. They are the cowards. And I think to be honest that this girl is just jealous of you and has now found something to her advantage so that she can make you feel like crap. But you're such a pretty girl, and you're intelligent, and you need to know that you have people behind you and supporting you, and we'll always be here for you. We'll get this sorted out, don't worry... Just look to the future xxx
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Agreed and well said :)
 
Don't give up hope you are doing great so far! The next thing you have to do is distance yourself from the influences providing it and get yourself involved into a hobby man. What do ya love to do? What are your dreams and passions.. All the things that you crossed off the list while being addicted are now open to your exposure! You can do anything and everything you put your mind too :D So, what do ya wanna do?
 
Bright_Star* has quite the beautiful voice :) I feel like it would be such a waste of a beautiful thing not to continue capitalizing on that in some way.

I wonder B_S*, have you ever been interested in a cappella or some type of singing club at college? I would imagine they have something, although I could understand if it would be stressful in terms of anxiety - but who knows, you would stand to get in with a few like minded individuals too.
 
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If you fucking do this now your going to save yourself so much suffering. YOu cant even imagine. If you don't stop now, youll look back in 10 years and feel the hugest regret for not sticking with it. Keep up the good work. Look to beauty in other things! Heroin is not the be all and end all of life. There are more beautiful things, more higher highs! <3
 
Thanks Toothpastedog :) I'd like that, and I'm hoping my youtube channel will grow.
I had a meeting at the college with my parents this week. Basically, because I was falling behind in work and I missed a lot of the assignments, I'm not going to be able to go onto next year :( So I don't know what I'm going to do... I can't imagine me getting a job... I can't really do anything... And this weekend I got really ill. I don't know why, but it was almost like heroin withdrawals all over again. I suddenly got really cold chills, and I felt really fragile, like every single movement would hurt, and I literally could not stop shaking. My muscles and bones ached everywhere and I felt sick. Then I'd get too hot. Literally felt like I was gonna die. Ughh... :( I'm thinking I've come down with a cold or flu or something, but I've never experienced it quite this bad... Luckily I've had painkillers so it's okay temporarily. I had a panic attack at the meeting too where I went into a "freeze" like state. I got that with withdrawals too where I'd completely shut off from anything rational and just went into panic mode. I don't know why this week's been so bad for me, but the good news is I have made some new covers of songs for my youtube channel, so at least I'm doing SOMETHING productive... Although I've lost my voice now, haha, so none for like a week. :/ One of my dreams is to sing in front of an audience though... I bet I'd get nervous but I still like to imagine that. I think I could prove something if I managed to be successful in my singing, like prove that I am actually worth something... But now I'm lost :(
I'm still on Methadone, although my dosed had been increased by a little. And of course I still get the heroin cravings every day, but at least I have awoken kind of now and I have my family to stop me... I just try to tell myself every day, that there is no good reason to go back, and that it will never be as good as it was before, and all this work will have been wasted... And then I carry on. It's really hard for me, but I think I'm doing alright, gradually getting clean. I'll keep updated hopefully :)
 
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