Heroin Addict Baby Mama

[fakeit2makeit]

I met a girl 4 years ago with a drug problem. After knowing her a month or so I began a commited relationship with someone else. During that relationship, the girl with the problem called me and had me pay for an abortion. Which I did reluctantly after seeing she was indeed pregnant. Time goes by and the girl I'm dating breaks up with me. I began talking to the girl with the problem again. We become close friends and she confides in me her use of heroin. After sometime she goes away to a 6 month program. While away I learn she had a baby not too long ago ( in addition to already having a son) and I start to play with the timeline in my head. More and more time goes by and I never see the girl with problem again and eventually wind up in another relationship for close to a year. Towards the end I happen to run into the girl with the drug issues and her not 1, but 2 kids. My relationship ends and finally I decide to date this girl with the problem. We are together to this day.

She is still hooked on dope despite multiple attempts at long and short term detoxes. She is doing a quick sub taper at home, but this is her 3rd attempt in a month and its about to fail. She wants to get high today.

I just don't know how much more I can take. I love this girl, and I've had my own issues ( OC 120 mg ish) but I don't know. She is mean and nasty sometimes and makes me out to be the bad guy. Other times she just won't say 2 words and if I try and talk to her she'll ignore me. I'm really hoping she'll get off drugs, but I can't help but feel hopeless. Early on in our relationship she ran my bank account into the ground so being broke doesn't help my stress level.

I have a kid with her now that she pretended to abort for cash, and she's taken everything I have on more than 1 occasion.

Someone help!

 

[Bearlove]

Do you know that the child is yours? Regardless of the answer - Your not happy with the relationship so leave. If you have a relationship with the child (regardless if your its biological father) keep that going as long as it doesn't hurt you or the child.

 

[fakeit2makeit]

Child is mine. There is no DNA proof but let's just say I know. I have grown very close to him as well.
I hate to leave her because I do love her,and who wants to raise their child in a broken home. I was raised by my father, and his mother. So certainly not I.
I am quickly realizing leaving is my best bet, but I just feel so trapped


There have even been times where ive tried to
break up with her and basically she doesn't allow
it! a few times now ive said you need to leave. She
flips out, and says fine drive me to my uncles. I get
to her uncles and shes like, no take me to my
moms. get to her moms. no take me to my friends
house. get to her friends. no take me to my
dealers town and ill hustle up some money. get to
her dealers town and she just keeps fighting with
me. after a few hours of this she says lets go
home, we'll figure it out tomorrow. I cant argue
anymore at this point so I do. Tomorrow comes
and its like nothing ever happened.

 

[Bearlove]

I am quickly realizing leaving is my best bet,

Who wants to raise a child in a home filled with parents that do not love/respect each other?

You know that your relationship with this person is over. You can leave her and still have a relationship with your child though. You also know that this person will do / say anything to get money from you for her next hit.

If you wish to stay with this person, then you need to set some ground rules - what for you is the priority here?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Can you get custody of your son?

Get your own checking/savings account, and DO NOT combine finances (if you still live with her), or lend her any money. Good luck.

 

[fakeit2makeit]

If I'm being completely honest with myself. Lately, I am fed up to hell at my own misery. Everyday I get out of work hoping she'll be happy to see me or wanna talk or something. But everyday she is completely miserable or pissed off. Or high and nodding. The weekend comes and its like I take care of the kids
The whole time and she dwells on beingmiserable. There are no happy times and I never enjoy myself.

Priority should be the kids though. If that is what you are showing me you are right. I am just caught up on how miserable she makes everyone.

 

[fakeit2makeit]

I may be able to sue for custody. I don't know much about it. Just that taking him from his brother and grammy and bringing him with me where I'll need a sitter 60 hrs a week isn't the greatest plan.
She doeant steal my money any more. Better, she black mails me, extorts me, or just throws a fit til I hand over the money for the cable bill.