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polarthedog

polarthedog

Bluelighter
Joined
May 30, 2021
Messages
2,038
I’m on probation, Andy I have been using drugs for the past nine months, and getting away with it.

Anyway, I’ve been smoking HHC the past couple days, I keep endin* up using it To get rid of the nausea I get from taking dxm Andy kratom togetherness to get rid of subutex withdrawals.

I know we can’t answer drug test questions, but I have a test on Tuesday, And I’m worried I’m going to fail.

Also I’m out of gabapentin, so I’m going through withdrawal from that now too, all because my doctor is fucking incompetent. I keep having trouble getting it on time, I feel like they are punishing me for needing drugs to treat my anxiety and depression.

I guess mainly I’m wanting emotional support.

I fucking hate being on probation, I need drugs to treat my mental problems, especially weed, and it’s keeps pushing me to use harder drugs that get out of my system faster than weed.

Iv even actually found that I can smoke a gram a day for a week, then take a week off, dink a bunch of water and pass my drug test. I have a very fast metabolism, and not much body fat.

I’m hoping these claims that hhc doesn’t show up are true,then I can be free to take my medicine
 
I feel like shit right now, and I really wanna get stoned as fuck off this Hhc pen I have

I’m so god man irritable, I just took 7.5 mg of remeron, 4 mg prazocin, 18 mg of zoloft, some kava and kratom, And dxm, so I’m hoping I get some sleep tonight.

The other day I had nightmares where I was literally being tortured all night long, and I could feel pain in the nightmare, a lot of it
 
Have you tried talking to your PO about smoking weed? None of mine cared and weed isn’t even legal in New Hampshire. They should be understanding if it can help you stay off harder drugs.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this man. I was on probation for 5 years it was absolutely torture as a 21 year old drug addict.

I used to sit in the parking lot chugging water sick as fuck detoxing off Oxys just to use them as soon as I passed and then do it all over again every 2 weeks. It was madness.

Idk your PO but mine have always been honesty is the best policy. The one time I got violated I told him I was clean and then he piss tested me (hadn’t in like 6 months so I just kept lying) failed for Oxys, benzos coke weed and I spent 41 days in jail at 21 years old.
 
OpiateKiller said:
Have you tried talking to your PO about smoking weed? None of mine cared and weed isn’t even legal in New Hampshire. They should be understanding if it can help you stay off harder drugs.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this man. I was on probation for 5 years it was absolutely torture as a 21 year old drug addict.

I used to sit in the parking lot chugging water sick as fuck detoxing off Oxys just to use them as soon as I passed and then do it all over again every 2 weeks. It was madness.

Idk your PO but mine have always been honesty is the best policy. The one time I got violated I told him I was clean and then he piss tested me (hadn’t in like 6 months so I just kept lying) failed for Oxys, benzos coke weed and I spent 41 days in jail at 21 years old.
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I’m afraid too, I don’t now want to go back to jail, being locked up without any potential access to drug service is torture to me

She’s a kind person, but she’s also by the book. It’s strange, I actually like my judge and my PO, they’re just ignorant, they are trying to help me in their own misguided way

I actually slept pretty good last night after the remeron kicked in, I took 380 mg of dxm throughout the day as well. I had pseudo nightmares, they weren’t terrible, but they weren’t all that good ei5er, Andy they were extra intense and rememorable.

I just took a bunch of kratom and 100 mg dxm and cbd ciggerettes, I really want to go smoke my hhc cartridge though, and it’s nigh impossible to resist. Honestly even though weed is very good for my mental problems, I find it to be as psychologically addictive, or more than opiates
 
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hey man, don't fuck around on probation

do not think you can pass their drug tests... they used to give me fucking hair tests and crazy eye tests and shit

get on the good side of your PO, find out when he usually drug tests you, only then try to get high

you don't want to fail probation my dude... trust me... you will hate yourself forever.. fucking yourself over hard
 
Negentropic said:
hey man, don't fuck around on probation

do not think you can pass their drug tests... they used to give me fucking hair tests and crazy eye tests and shit

get on the good side of your PO, find out when he usually drug tests you, only then try to get high

you don't want to fail probation my dude... trust me... you will hate yourself forever.. fucking yourself over hard
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THats what I’ve done, I only get drug tested every two weeks, no random drug tests, and I mainly do drugs that they don’t test for, dxm, kratom, cbd, ketamine, lsa, lsd, there’s actually a pretty long list of drugs that I can do, it’s just that weeds not one of them
 
polarthedog said:
I’m afraid too, I don’t now want to go back to jail, being locked up without any potential access to drug service is torture to me

She’s a kind person, but she’s also by the book. It’s strange, I actually like my judge and my PO, they’re just ignorant, they are trying to help me in their own misguided way

I actually slept pretty good last night after the remeron kicked in, I took 380 mg of dxm throughout the day as well. I had pseudo nightmares, they weren’t terrible, but they weren’t all that good ei5er, Andy they were extra intense and rememorable.

I just took a bunch of kratom and 100 mg dxm and cbd ciggerettes, I really want to go smoke my hhc cartridge though, and it’s nigh impossible to resist. Honestly even though weed is very good for my mental problems, I find it to be as psychologically addictive, or more than opiates
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I had to stop taking remeron it put me to sleep but I had the most vivid fucked up night terrors man. That’s probably what’s causing it.

Like I remember the worst nightmare of my life I was on an operating table being tortured and it was all so vivid. After that had to flush the remeron script.
 
polarthedog said:
I only get drug tested every two weeks, no random drug tests
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... yeah they tell you that... first time on probation?

dude your PO will probably show up randomly some day and ask for a piss test

do not trust their "we only test you every 2 weeks" bullshit bro... im serious.. my POs used to drive by my work and just check if my car was there... they do more than sit in an office and do paperwork...

the point of probation officer is to TEST you to see if you're gonna fuck up again...
 
Negentropic said:
... yeah they tell you that... first time on probation?

dude your PO will probably show up randomly some day and ask for a piss test

do not trust their "we only test you every 2 weeks" bullshit bro... im serious
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No, this is the second, and she does show up randomly, she just never drug test she me then.

You might be right, but I can’t seem to stop myself 😔

That’s why I’m looking into stuff like hhc and THCp, if I can’t find something like that, I will be forced to switch to k2, Andy I don’t want to do that
 
Hey man. I’ve never been on probation so I got nothing to say there. But you said you wanted emotional sympathy - I hear you and I’m thinking of you and hope it all plays out ok. No advice, guidance, or instructions today

But feel free to hit me up another time!
 
Perforated said:
Hey man. I’ve never been on probation so I got nothing to say there. But you said you wanted emotional sympathy - I hear you and I’m thinking of you and hope it all plays out ok. No advice, guidance, or instructions today

But feel free to hit me up another time!
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Thank you, I haven’t said anything about me being on probation before on bluelight because I was paranoid that it would somehow come back and bite me in the ass later, but I’m tired, I need to tell someone other than my family and girlfriend, I just want this to be over, it’s been so many years of not having complete freedom. Suicide seems like it would be a relief sometimes, but it’s not an option because it wouldn’t be fair to my loved ones

I have 2 years and 4.5 months left
 
I would just ask her dude. She can’t violate you for asking if you can smoke weed and most judges wouldn’t approve violating someone over weed anyways I feel .

What’s the worst that can happen?
 
polarthedog said:
Thank you, I haven’t said anything about me being on probation before on bluelight because I was paranoid that it would somehow come back and bite me in the ass later, but I’m tired, I need to tell someone other than my family and girlfriend, I just want this to be over, it’s been so many years of not having complete freedom. Suicide seems like it would be a relief sometimes, but it’s not an option because it wouldn’t be fair to my loved ones

I have 2 years and 4.5 months left
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I don’t think it is anything to be ashamed about (unless your crime was some totally unprovoked act of violence or cruelty). Heaps of people on BL are on probation or have been through the process at some point (so, probably worth listening to their advice). Personally, I share most things on BL (in ways that I hope won’t identify me) because it’s the only place I can really be myself.

If you do have suicidal thoughts then you definitely need to be sharing with us. it’s not just that it is unfair to your loved ones. It’s a fact that all this shit when you are young (I don’;t know your age but I’m assuming 20s or 30s) eventually passes and become character building or a distant memory as you get older and wiser.
 
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