Thanks for making that point. Yes, I have a lot of reservations about trying to use psychedelics in this way. More than anything else, I am just extending the idea out there for something to consider at this point.
I have a history of mental problems and the very last place I thought I'd turn was psychedelics. I mean, I don't have any history of drug use, really, much less abuse. Rarely drink alcohol, and that is a glass of wine with pasta once a month. Very careful about pills, too. Just generally very protective of myself with substances unless absolutely necessary, and definitely do not want to play around with my emotions or psyche because of my past history of problems. My psychedelic usage was the most unexpected and improbable thing, topped only by the even greater surprise of what happened when I had a few experiences: I actually have started healing and figuring ways out of my psychosis and trauma and depression! I have a long way to go and not relying on the substances to do the work, and I have had some upsetting and emotionally difficult experiences, too, but the main point is that I have felt some real marked improvement with some of my very serious mental problems for the first time in years. Trying not to go crazy with this and to manage expectations and to be responsible, but they seem to be making some healing connections in places I couldn't figure out how to remedy on my own.
I have been on anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety, and severe sleep disorder medication for a few years. Again, I am someone who hates taking medication and don't 'need' to be high. I could go the rest of my life without a drink or a drug and never miss it. I had been without progress or improvement for 2 years and asked the doctor to take me off of all medications as of last year, which we did, as I felt they were both ineffective, and unnoticeable to the extent that they could have been placebos (this were some seriously strong bentos amongst other things). So, having taken a few steps forward using psychedelics as a comfort and safe tool, I have noticed that they have done more for me than years of counselling, psychiatry and psychology have thus far. Psilocin definitely deserves as much study and research as we can throw at it as taxpayers. From war veterans to sexual abuse survivors, manic depressives, sadists...any number of people in distress need to be watched in a clinical environment. It deserves SO much respect from the medical community and seeing where it can be used is extremely noble work.
Psychedelics have worked for me in treating depression, anxiety and particularly neuroses of mine. I can't say that psychedelics worked for me in microdosing, simply because I have wanted to try this method but haven't as of yet. The best experiences I had which offered the closest cure for my suffering and mental anguish (in the bucket loads no less) had been on high doses (anywhere between 250ug upwards). The lowest dose being 100ug and I was still mildly crossing the psychedelic frontier at times, but no where near a microdose.
So I can say, psychedelics have been fundamental in changing my life for the better. I can vouch for their legitimacy as so can many many MANY millions of people who have taken it. The only difference here is, these people including myself probably didn't microdose it. From what I've read about it, the microdose is typically utilised for increased productivity at work or in your personal life, and not so much treatment of personal problems and/or mental health issues. Studies completed using LSD were all completed during the heights of research into its effects and consistent with most improvement when dosed at standard to high doses (100ug+).
Apparently many professionals in Silicone Valley are microdosing both acid and mushrooms to boost their workday and to much success. Contrary to all this experimenting with microdosing, I think the biggest change comes with the cathartic impact that a psychedelic experience has, and at those doses (the microdose) the experience is not potent enough to be psychedelic and so, doesn't induce a state which can heal you through the experience. I could imagine increased mood would be a trait for microdosing though, a big benefit to anyone with depression, as would (as has been made evident by many who microdose) creativity and productivity. The question would be, in comparison to a psychedelic experience - what would the duration of the improvement be and how effective would it be in sustaining said improvement?
For psychedelic experiences, per every experience, and being very honest here in terms of where I'm at in my personal life, it's taken from my first trip in January of 2015 until now in 2017 for me to need antidepressants after certain personal circumstances changed in my life. Only now am I needing antidepressants and witnessing turmoil incomparable except to experience prior to psychedelics (ie. Before I self medicated and healed) so I can personally say psychedelics were successful with me for a long period of time in comparison to most people who relapse onto antidepressants sometimes only months after. Again, I healed through psychedelic experiences and NOT microdosing. Just making that clear.
In terms of your psychiatric conditions, the question is not whether you could take psychedelics based on your psychiatry history because sure, anyone can take psychedelics even people with psychiatric complaints. The question is whether maturely, as a responsible adult, based on evidence and common sense, it's about whether you would be willing to find out what happens. Many psychotic people take LSD and many do fine just as many do with depression and other symptoms of mental health issues. Many people with known conditions take acid and many of them heal more using psychedelics than they do with medication and/or therapy. That's why acid is so good in research and why it was used in the same instances before it was prohibited.
Having said that, we have to be honest about your symptoms before we take any drug. The slightest hiccup could change things for the time being and not a positive way, if not change things for a long time, so it is a tough decision to make. Microdosing is therefore the safer option no matter what, so don't discount microdosing if discounting anything else to do with taking psychedelics. This is by far the safer option, hands down. It's wise to understand though, as you probably do, that psychedelic doses are more effective at treating core symptoms most people try to eliminate during a psychedelic trip, than lower doses. And this is something you would have to bare in mind as it's kinda like putting a dollar into a soda machine and only getting 50 cents of soda back in return. The other half is there if you need it, yet you wouldn't know it was there if you didn't go back and check whether they was more to give. It's just whether you actually do need the full experience or whether you are best not taking it at all, or as you said, in microdosing. It's a tough question to ask and, I don't have a straight answer.
Do what makes you feel good. You seem to have a level head which is commendable considering your past history. You seem head strong which is great and exactly the sort of personality you need for healing experiences with psychedelics. I personally would take a normal dose and not a microdose, but this is just my opinion as I'm not you, so I wouldn't understand the entirety of your life and what works best for you.
Either way, I offer you my best wishes and I hope if you do decide to microdose or take psychedelics in any manner, that you find the answers you are looking for
